071 | From “Not Enough” to Authentically Me: Neurodivergence, Cannabis, Psychedelic Parenting & Creativity (The Journey 002)
“For most of my life, I always felt that who I intrinsically was, was simply not enough. I always had to shove myself into a box to fit in. The coaching journey finally allowed me to relax into myself.”
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Parents, artists, and my neurodivergent community... This one is for you! Welcome to The Journey: A podcast series that shines a light on real people on their psychedelic journey. This weeks guest is Karen De Luca: A visionary artist, photographer and mom. Karen shares how she went from a reality of "who I am is not enough" to being at peace with her authentic self.
Karen's journey is massively inspiring for anyone who is stuck is low self worth patterns of thinking and the associated behaviours. This can often feel like feeling stuck or unsure of yourself. Karen has taken the call to find and express herself very seriously.
Today, Karen lives life motivated by joy, rather than fear. As a result, she operates her life and her business from a place of love, collaboration, connection, and love. She shares with us how cannabis and her connection to nature have been an supportive allies for embracing (rather than rejecting) her neurodivergence.
Get ready to be inspired and motivated by this impressive woman. She gives us all permission to be exactly who we are; whoever we are.
Topics Covered:
Karen growing up following a “straight laced path”
How the birth of her daughter illuminated low self worth patterns
Psychedelics, Cannabis and nature as allies
Karen’s journey towards Authenticity and owning her unique expression
Stories she released and reframed in order to “relax into herself”
Releasing doing things the “right” way as an entrepreneur
How Karen embraces & supports her Neurodiversity
Being motivated by joy versus fear as business strategy
Giving oneself permission, as a mom, to nourish oneself
Overcoming the shame of “not enough”
Tapping into the inner artist
How parenting shifted on the journey of authenticity
Having psychedelic experiences are a parent
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“I’m neurodivergent, and the way I approach my work isn’t as perhaps structured as other people. But there is a flow to it. I’ve listened to business advice, and then I simply realized this is not for me, this is for a different brain.”
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Things Mentioned in This Episode
Show Links:
“My daughter has been my biggest spiritual teacher. Birth is its own giant psychedelic journey. The first year of motherhood was so hard because I had this idea in my head about who a mom was and how I was supposed to be.”
Looking for a professional coach to support you on your psychedelic path?
Look no further! Along with being the host of the Modern Psychedelics Podcast, Lana is a 3x certified professional coach who works with people on the psychedelic path.
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Lana Pribic: Hello everyone. So I'm here with the beautiful Karen DeLuca. Welcome to the show.
Karen De Luca: Hey, thank you so much.
Lana Pribic: Yeah, we were just laughing before we hit record about how we look like Betty and Veronica cause if you guys are watching on YouTube, you can see that Karen has set herself up in her, I assume photo studio and it's like colorful and just like wearing all these amazing colors and beautiful blonde hair and pink lipstick.
And I'm like super gothic over here with like my Shipibo art behind me and I love it.
So funny.
I love the contrast. Yeah. So as you guys would have heard in the intro, Karen is an incredible visionary artist and entrepreneur, a mother. She has so much to share with us and she is a past coaching client of mine. We work together. quite some time and we worked through so many areas of your life together. business, habits and [00:01:00] routines, family, intimate relationships, friendships, intuition and psychic development, money mindset, like you name it, we went there.
Oh
Lana Pribic: my gosh, that's so
true.
Lana Pribic: Yeah. And I just want to say thank you for embracing the process and showing up and being here today to share it with us. Yeah. And you were
fun and beautiful to work with. And it was just so amazing to see you shift your energy so quickly. So after session and just integrate and get to work like a master implementer.
Karen De Luca: Thank you.
Lana Pribic: Yeah. I'm excited to dive in. Let's start with just an introduction. Can you introduce yourself to our audience, who you are, what you're about, and just anything about your background or upbringing that feels relevant to share?
Karen De Luca: Yeah. So I'm Karen obviously, and I'm a photographer and art director. I have my own business that I run together with my partner, Chris. I'm also a mom. I have a three [00:02:00] year old daughter named Olivia and I'm based in central Florida, but I'm originally from the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan. I would say I had somewhat of a conservative background. I was raised reformed Jewish. My parents are very they're not dogmatic about religion or Judaism. It's more just like tradition and ritual. And that was really important, up. And well as just following a sort of path, like a more straight laced path, which for me, always being very creative and never quite feeling like I quite fit in was challenging at times and I feel like I, I struggled in my, throughout my twenties with really figuring out my way And it took quite some time to really start embracing myself and my individuality and to really get out of this just chronic low self esteem patterns,
Lana Pribic: Yeah,
Karen De Luca: [00:03:00] honestly.
So yeah, that's been a really big part of my journey, is trying to break out of that and start just being me,
Lana Pribic: and I'm just looking at you today right now, just in the most beautiful, fullest expression of who you are.
Karen De Luca: Aww.
Lana Pribic: you've come a long way
Karen De Luca: yes
don't think I could do this just a few years ago. It would have been really difficult for me to be seen in this way, honestly.
Lana Pribic: Yeah. Yeah. And since this episode is really about celebrating you and highlighting your journey and sharing your journey with people, do you want to share with people just where you were at, what you were struggling with, what you were stuck with when we, when you reached out to me.
Karen De Luca: Yeah. I guess I would start with the birth of my daughter because I think that really marked a huge turning point in my life and. spurred this huge period of transformation and almost like becoming a woman, like really coming into myself. [00:04:00] And I really struggled intensely after my daughter was born.
It was right at the beginning of the pandemic. And I had I struggled with postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression. And I really felt like so many of my issues. In general and negative thought patterns and things that were just inside of me became so apparent once my daughter was born Everything like bubbled to the surface and I realized I couldn't go on in that way Especially because I don't want that for her and I wanted to break these cycles.
I ended up getting into therapy and doing a lot of That was very helpful for those beginning years those early days of motherhood, honestly, and getting over some birth trauma as well. And then I realized that I started getting, since I, I live in Florida and I started getting really interested in plants and gardening and I just, I've always loved podcasts and I discovered modern [00:05:00] psychedelics and just loved the content , that you were putting out, and I really admired your story so much, and I was just thinking to myself Lana has come so far, and look at her doing this really cool thing that I think is so cool, but for some reason, I think that's not for me, that can't do things like that, because I'm not good enough, or I don't deserve to do actually like really live my beliefs, live out my values, do the things that I'm passionate about, because there was always this like feeling or voice or what a gremlin, whatever it was, that was always holding me back and make me feel like enough. And that was just that. And so I entered into life coaching.
It was more, it was kind of like, I'll have what she's having. Like I would love to learn that kind of vibe. And also to really dive more into plant medicine, learning about plants and realizing like plant people [00:06:00] are my people. I'm a plant person. Yeah.
Lana Pribic: It's like actually so incredible to hear you talk about where you were because like, that's just not who I see in front of me today wow, isn't it such a trip sometimes to reflect on and that's what we're doing today. As you've learned, it's not about having what I'm having, it's about having. What's already inside of you and
And we're really gonna talk about of those bits that you mentioned in there, especially around the authenticity and individuality and stepping into yourself. But since this is a psychedelics podcast, I have to ask you, and I know that the listeners wanna know, yeah.
What is your relationship with psychedelics, plants altered states of consciousness, if you wanted to share a little bit about that.
Karen De Luca: Yeah. I. I started experimenting from a pretty young age with cannabis, and I think that, in some ways, I'm so grateful for those early experiences because I had such [00:07:00] intense anxiety for my entire life, and That plant really was like a soothing balm, in a sense, and Then in college, I started experimenting with psilocybin and having these like really beautiful, magical experiences and think that was what was always the missing link was how to take what I was learning and feeling during those experiences and how to actually bring that into my everyday life.
And so I think that in some ways, like the coaching, And I think the journey has allowed me to really take the teachings from plants and actually implement them into my everyday life. And then it would also say that, as a parent, I think of plants, really as my allies, and especially like taking edibles in the evening to unwind.
That's been really a wonderful tool to [00:08:00] become more present with my daughter, to have more patience in a sense and to tap into this like more childlike, playful energy and get out of my head and more into my body. And, when you're parenting a toddler that is really helpful and really important.
It can be really difficult if you have, if you're thinking about work and things of that nature. And then I'd say with psilocybin, more recently experimenting with it, I realized that it's giving me the ability to really halt So I'll have a mushroom experience, but I find that it has this like afterglow effect and suddenly I find myself having these really toxic thought patterns that are just like ingrained and stuck in me, and it feels like mushrooms give me the ability to just to stop and to recognize that it's happening.
And there's, I don't feel that. That can necessarily I think that's [00:09:00] a really difficult thing to do with like traditional talk therapy, for example, or through like traditional therapeutic modalities in general. I think plants, they help us open up and change like the, it's called like the default mode network, the neural node network.
Yeah,
Lana Pribic: What I love about your share there is that even at such a young age, even if you didn't have a word for it, but you did recognize the importance of integration and treating your experiences of altered states as an opportunity for transformation and an opportunity to bring some of those gems that you experienced during those altered states into your everyday life.
Karen De Luca: that's so true.
Lana Pribic: Yeah, that's awesome. So the first thing I really want to dive into that has inspired me the most about watching your journey unfold is, wow your journey of authenticity and just like really owning yourself and your gifts [00:10:00] and of that. One of the goals that, we set goals together at the start of our coaching relationship and one of yours was around to show up authentically in all areas of your life and to have clarity around who that is. This was like, what, a year ago?
Karen De Luca: Yeah, I think. Something, yep, around then.
Lana Pribic: Yeah I think so many people out there listening to this can relate to this desire to just show up authentically and to be true to themselves and to live their lives, right? Who am I authentically? I'm just going to be super open ended here and then we can get deeper.
Can you just share with people listening what that journey of authenticity has been like for you?
Karen De Luca: Yeah, absolutely. I think that for most of my life, I always felt that who I intrinsically was, was simply not [00:11:00] enough. I was not lovable, inherently lovable, inherently of value, and that I always had to push myself, shove myself into a box, try to fit myself in, like squeeze and force and push through.
And I think that the coaching journey finally allowed me to relax into myself. And think that in the past, I've done forms of coaching, and it felt like it was always focused on like checking off a to do list, and increasing my productivity, and developing a consistent morning routine, and quite honestly, that is not me.
It just isn't. I am not always consistent. I don't have consistent productivity. I ebb and flow. I just decided I, I simply can't keep forcing myself to fit into what I think an entrepreneur is supposed to be. Or even, in the past, an [00:12:00] employee. I, it just doesn't work. I'm killing myself.
It's makes me sick. Honestly, like physically. Yeah.
Lana Pribic: Yeah.
Karen De Luca: And also in, within my business, I felt like I was constantly burning out because I was so attached to specific outcomes that my clients would always love whatever I would do that I, whenever I would create personal work, I always created it with a expectation that somebody would see it and I would get positive feedback.
I wasn't, I was at times able to tap into joy. But I would say now more than ever, I'm motivated from a place of joy rather than fear. And I think that is really, to me, what authenticity is about. And it's almost no matter what I do, no matter how many mistakes I make, I'm still enough and I'm okay.
And I can make a mistake or do something, do a really crappy photo or... I have a really bad year in my business, or [00:13:00] maybe I accidentally, lose my temper with my daughter. I always have the ability to repair or to try again, and that doesn't, it doesn't change my value. And, I believe that is true for everyone.
Lana Pribic: Yeah.
Karen De Luca: Yeah, so it's been quite a powerful shift in mindset to be operating from that, because that just leaves so much space space to just be and to relax into myself more.
Lana Pribic: You're oozing that level six energy, the joy. Yeah. What are some of the traits or qualities about yourself that you felt like you had to hide or put away or suppress?
Karen De Luca: I did work in like traditional jobs and I felt like I always had to adapt to the ways that people would socialize. And I had to just make people feel comfortable and talk about things that not, I wasn't necessarily interested in, but that was, it felt like expected.
[00:14:00] I'm someone who has a lot of interests and I kind of cycle through the interests, but I'm obsessed with researching things and I love to nerd out about a lot of things like that is my, number one passion is probably researching, learning and trying new things.
Lana Pribic: Yeah.
Karen De Luca: Yeah, it's, I think that it's like the spice of life in some ways, like learning. And like I love to geek out about my interests, honestly. And so now I'm just sharing that and being open and I enjoy to, you know, indulging cannabis edibles and I think I'm really interested in psychedelics and these types of things, instead of pretending that I'm this like straight laced, professional corporate woman. I'm just like really trying to put it out there and like No longer play a character if that makes sense I'm just showing up as me in all areas of my life also with my clients and just obviously with discretion when it's appropriate to
Lana Pribic: [00:15:00] yes.
Karen De Luca: But, yeah, it's really just trying to be my unfiltered self, because I just realized I want to be around people and I want to attract clients that vibe with that and that want me and not the character of Karen,
Lana Pribic: I remember you said that in a later coaching session, that whole I feel like I'm not playing a character anymore. And it was in relation to creativity. There was a point where you were just like, have a unique point of view and a unique perspective as an artist and I'm tired of hiding behind the shadow of other artists that I admire or doing work in order to seek praise.
Do you want to
bit?
Karen De Luca: First of all I would say that I'm neurodiverse, or I'm like neurodivergent um, that I approach my work isn't as perhaps structured as other people that there is a flow to it, and I'm I've listened to business advice, and then I simply [00:16:00] realized this is not for me, this is for a different brain Like
this
no I can't I don't personally vibe with the idea of having the set morning routine where you wake up at 5am and then you have your lemon water and then you have to do your meditation. I prefer to flow more through my life and to my body and that's actually a really big part of my myself as listening more and tapping in to my body and respecting it.
Lana Pribic: Yeah, this I remember like you really like to tune into the seasonality.
Karen De Luca: yeah.
Lana Pribic: and , the cyclical nature of life. And I think like just owning your neurodivergence instead of pushing it away, like really embracing it as a part of yourself is a part of the authenticity journey because it's a part of who you are.
So
work with that.
Karen De Luca: Yes, exactly.
Lana Pribic: things or whatever, just do the things so that I'm no longer neurodivergent. Like how can you actually work with the neurodivergence? And I think you've done that in a really beautiful way.
Karen De Luca: Yeah. And I [00:17:00] think what I realized is I needed to build systems to support myself instead of fighting myself. And,
Lana Pribic: Yeah.
Karen De Luca: also realizing that I am I'm a team person. I love partnership and collaboration. And
Lana Pribic: Level six.
Karen De Luca: Yeah, I love That is I find such a wonderful way to work and it's not coming from the place of like competition or fear anymore.
It's more about Let's support each other and example, with my husband, Chris he has a lot of complimentary skill sets that I don't necessarily have. And I love that I'm able to lean on him. And so it's really just shifting expectations for myself and finding ways that I can get support and be open about things that perhaps are difficult for me.
Yeah.
Lana Pribic: Yeah. I'm really curious to hear, like, how has your business, your work as a photographer, your journey as an art director changed, [00:18:00] perhaps evolved as you have started claiming your authenticity and just like being who you be.
Karen De Luca: Yeah I think that, again, it goes back to operating out of joy and being motivated by joy versus fear. And feel extremely blessed to be able to do what I do and to create work with really amazing clients and with really lovely collaborators as well. And perhaps in the past when I would work on an art direction concept, there would be a lot of Tension and insecure energy and now because I let myself off the hook in the sense that it's okay if they don't like this, it's okay if I fail now it's much easier to tap into a creative flow state.
And I would also say that cannabis has, is a wonderful tool for that as well. Like one of [00:19:00] my favorite things to do is to take an edible and then start brainstorming ideas for an art direction concept and
Lana Pribic: Yeah.
Karen De Luca: I love that it helps me get into flow and all of these different,
Lana Pribic: Yeah.
Karen De Luca: I don't know, so many like things that are like floating around some like patterns emerge and it's so cool.
Lana Pribic: I totally get it. Sometimes I will like smoke smoke some cannabis at 9 or 10 p. m. And I'm not intending to work, but then all these ideas for podcast episodes just start flowing through me or all these ideas for content just start coming up and I'm just like, okay I guess I'm working. But it's so fun. It's coming from that state of flow and it's so
Karen De Luca: Yeah.
Lana Pribic: to, tap into that. And yeah, what a great like reflection and example of working with these medicines in a really supportive, unusual way.
Karen De Luca: Yeah, totally.
Lana Pribic: , could you reflect on some of [00:20:00] the challenges or narratives, the stories that you've told yourself or that you've been telling yourself that you overcame and reframed in order to really step into this authentic version of yourself?
Karen De Luca: I think that there was this fear of the public eye, fear of humiliation, fear of being seen, which is just, It's honestly, really sad, the fear of being seen someone would see who I really am and then not like that, and I would feel this ostra, being, feeling ostracized and I feel like I've had to really confront that and work with that energy a lot, and
Lana Pribic: Yeah.
Karen De Luca: and I'd say that also the relationship with plants has really helped me work through that and find that for myself.
Lana Pribic: What was the reframe for you to release that fear of judgment and ostracize ostracization?
Karen De Luca: It goes back to realizing that even if I did do something [00:21:00] really or made a big mistake or looked like a fool, like was me in a sense giving my power away. Thank And allowing myself to feel humiliated. I remember this was something that we really talked about.
I was giving all this power to other people as if they're like above me I would always like be going down like this. Like really shrinking myself and Oh, don't hurt me. Don't look at me. And now it's here I am. But it's not like I'm above. It's just where everyone is at eye level.
Because I see myself and everyone else. We are all equal.
Lana Pribic: Beautiful. Like you, you really have such an ease with authenticity and an ease with yourself. I just such a beautiful allowance to just be you How does it feel to have come such a long way in such a short period of time with the authenticity piece?
Karen De Luca: It's honestly it's so liberating to no longer be ruled by [00:22:00] insecurity and I feel like that the joy that I'm able to derive from my everyday life is, it's it's beautiful when you come home to yourself and you're not afraid all the time, I'm sure a lot of people who've struggled with chronic anxiety perhaps can relate to that.
It's very intense.
And yeah, it's very liberating and like wonderful to just have all these things to look forward to. And the like of my, for me to tap into creative thinking is so much stronger as well. I think one thing I also realized is that one of the things that's really important for me to do is to really nourish myself and take care of myself.
And one, one big thing that I do now is like really nourish my hobbies and interests. I feel like that's really underrated. It's treat yourself well treat yourself like you're dating yourself in a way or I think in some ways it's like also with my daughter I think when she [00:23:00] was first born and having this relationship with her and she is a little girl and I used to think why do I think that I love this child so much and all babies are so beautiful and pure. And but why does that, why did I somehow think that wasn't me at one time? Do I not deserve that love, too? Because I'm me, somehow? Because I'm this adult person? But I was also that little baby once, just like everyone. We were all born adorable, sweet babies. And we obviously develop and grow, but we still are, just from, being born.
Lovely, in a sense,
Lana Pribic: yeah. You're just like spiritual journey of becoming a mom has been so like rad, and you've really leaned into that. And, I think giving oneself permission to nourish oneself through hobbies and interests and food and whatever, just giving. Your self permission to nourish yourself in [00:24:00] that way is huge, but especially coming from you, someone who is married, someone who has a daughter, I can only imagine that it would be even more challenging to permission
Karen De Luca: Oh yeah.
Lana Pribic: So how did you manage that? Like, how did you get there as a
Karen De Luca: I think it was, the first year of motherhood was so hard because I had this idea in my head about who a mom was and like how I was supposed to be. And I felt so far away from that and therefore I suffered a lot unnecessarily. Because of almost like media narratives I had in my head about how mothers are.
And I also felt my, the mother's needs were never important. But then I realized actually it's almost like even more important to take extra good care of yourself when you become a mom. Because you cannot, Provide. For this child if you are not providing for yourself, and it's almost like you have to get so good at [00:25:00] Confronting like you're your biggest demons too because like your child at least in my case And I know a lot of other women and parents they will trigger you so It is so intense psychologically, physically, mentally, spiritually, like all of the ways.
And if you do not address it or work on it's going to come out all of the shadow parts of you will get seen in a sense. I think it, my daughter in any way has been my like biggest spiritual teacher. I would say birth is its own like giant psychedelic journey. The journey into motherhood, into a mother is wild.
Lana Pribic: My God, can't even imagine. So thank you for sharing and, just being the voice of a mom who's doing it, who's doing the work, who's doing the authenticity, who's doing the business, who's doing her dreams and who's continuing to learn and grow. That's freaking awesome.[00:26:00]
Karen De Luca: Yeah, it's, it is not,
Lana Pribic: for moms listening.
Karen De Luca: it, I would just say it is not easy and I'm not perfect. I don't have it all figured out but it is, you take it day by day.
Lana Pribic: Yeah. And I think you've released the pressure on yourself to do it perfectly. And really opened up to doing and being and going with the flow of it all.
Karen De Luca: Yeah, I think big thing is being able to practice self compassion and if I feel that I'm not parenting the way that I would love, I would want to, then it's really it's like releasing shame and getting out of the self judgment because that, that just prolongs the experience and it doesn't help.
Lana Pribic: Yeah.
Karen De Luca: And instead it's like coming back to the self compassion and like, why am I extra impatient with my kid today maybe it's because I haven't slept enough maybe it's because I'm working so hard and doing so much that I don't have a village of support around me so maybe it's. Maybe I should, take the pressure off myself[00:27:00] a little bit more and see if other resources I have in my community so that I can, fill up my own cup as well.
Lana Pribic: Yeah, again, like just so beautiful to hear you speak in this way and you have moved through a lot of shame and of that not enough voice.
Karen De Luca: Yeah.
Lana Pribic: let's talk about that a little bit. So just a little bit of background for people listening. We're going to refer to something called the gremlin. It's just in my coaching framework.
It's that not enough voice that we all have that we all carry. It's perfect. Normal to have it. It's. It's just a little bit unique and different for each of us, depending on our past experiences. So you, Karen, we actually like dove right in,
Karen De Luca: Yes.
Lana Pribic: like literally the first session I used my, one of my most advanced coaching tools with you to uncover and confront and, make friends with Your gremlin,
we just got right in there.
This
Karen De Luca: That's so true.
Lana Pribic: Can you share [00:28:00] with people what that journey has been like working with your gremlin and that not enough voice?
Karen De Luca: Yeah, I would say that I remember that first session, I it was so powerful because I remember I really felt like I was going into. Yeah. Some sort of portal and visiting with like my child self and also seeing this entity. We, I remember we named the voice, it was Alice and we like.
Lana Pribic: a strong visual experience
Karen De Luca: Yeah, it was very intense.
It was cool. I was like, whoa, what was that? What did you just do? But yeah, so Alice and naming the voice and understanding this character and almost like deconstructing this ongoing thought pattern in a sense and it from me and looking at it was extremely helpful. And Yeah it's basically this this voice that has followed me around and don't see it as a bad thing.
Instead I think of it more [00:29:00] as like this. This tendency developed to keep me safe. And it's essentially like a maladaptive pattern in a sense, but it really made sense from when I was a kid and it was trying to protect me from bad feelings and from humiliation and rejection things like that.
And
Lana Pribic: Which like so clearly showed up in your work, right?
Karen De Luca: yes, it really not anymore
Lana Pribic: Not anymore.
Karen De Luca: Yeah. So I would say also I felt this voice, Alice was keeping me from really showing up at my, in my highest, as my highest self and pursuing the things that I really wanted to pursue. It was always like, and if I would do something show a little bit of myself, it was like, why did you do that?
See? See?? You shouldn't have done that. I, it's almost like the voice was saying,
Lana Pribic: safe.
Karen De Luca: we, try, I'm trying to protect you. See what I mean? See what happens. See, I definitely had to,[00:30:00]
Lana Pribic: from bringing an awareness to that voice? What started changing for you after just like it and becoming aware of it?
Karen De Luca: I'm a person who's really in their head a lot I can rationally understand things and, I don't have a logical story about what's happening in my head, but if I don't integrate it into my whole body it's not necessarily going to change.
And I think that almost like having the somatic experience of going back into my childhood and feeling like I was really there and seeing myself somehow really shifted things for me. And I'm not quite sure how to word it, but it was like this, all of this the coaching and the plants and the things I was learning about and starting to integrate almost like my body and my senses more because I am an extremely sensory person that seems to have been [00:31:00] something that's really helped me shift away and almost like tapping more into like my heart. of just thinking, I'd say a bit.
Lana Pribic: Yeah.
Karen De Luca: that makes sense.
Lana Pribic: Yeah. totally. And as I'm sure you're noticing, like that gremlin voice doesn't necessarily go away,
it pops up every now and again, like maybe less often, the more that we work with it. So it's not so much about like completely getting rid of it. I don't even know if that's possible, but it's that awareness of its existence and what it's doing.
there to do that helps us like, just relate to it in a different way. We can be like, okay. I see you. I hear you. But actually I don't have to operate as if you're true. Like I can choose to see things in a different way.
Karen De Luca: Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah,
Lana Pribic: I'm a different person now than who I was when you were created.
Karen De Luca: [00:32:00] absolutely.
Lana Pribic: What are you noticing about your relationship with that voice today? Does often? Like how do you deal with it when it does come up?
Karen De Luca: It does come up and again, I think it's like tapping into the, like the heart center and maybe it's because I'm a mom. So this is like very activated within me, but it is like very much extending love to the different parts of myself that perhaps have like wounding or almost like seeing like the inner child, like the scared inner child and like really.
I'm actually mothering myself, being a parent to myself and just taking care of myself and reassuring myself. And, yeah, being like the parent and like taking care of the small child that perhaps doesn't understand what's going on. But it's okay, I know what's going on. I see this is showing up.
See why it's happening, but I don't need to let this take over.
Lana Pribic: Yeah. Sounds like you're learning [00:33:00] to be a parent to yourself as parent to Olivia.
Karen De Luca: Absolutely.
Lana Pribic: Yeah. And one of the things that we did, I don't know if you remember, we did that trigger journal. Do you remember that? Keeping track of the triggers? Yeah. Yeah. I love doing this. So what's your relationship like with your triggers when they come up today?
How do you work with them? Your way of coming back to That I am enough voice.
Karen De Luca: I think it comes back to almost like developing this mindful self compassion and noticing more, paying more attention.
And I think it's important to and developing like this muscle instead of acting immediate, like the impulse to immediately act on the trigger to instead take a step back and try to look at it and examine it and see where it's coming from. And one thing that I think has been extremely powerful is learning to work with my anger.[00:34:00]
And that was a session. As well because I was feeling like I was judging myself a lot for not enjoying taking care of a toddler and dealing with toddler craziness and having feeling like a short temper. And I kept judging myself and trying to almost like suppress that anger because obviously I didn't want to, I don't want to ever take it out on my daughter.
However, the anger would just sit inside of me. And then I'd be on this side and then randomly, like I would blow up and that's not ideal, obviously, but then I also realized that just, doing yoga and meditating and like doing deep breathing also wasn't helpful. And so one thing that we really talked about was like how to work with that energy and the yang, you introduced me to this concept of yang. And,
Lana Pribic: yang energy yeah,
Karen De Luca: yeah, so I feel like now when I get really angry, I honor it [00:35:00] and try to express it in healthy ways, like through dance and music and even gardening. Like I, I sometimes will take my shuffle and like really get into it or stirring the compost
Lana Pribic: I Love
Karen De Luca: so it's really
Lana Pribic: use of that catabolic energy
Karen De Luca: yes.
Lana Pribic: Good job.
Karen De Luca: Yeah, and I'm still looking for other ways to release it. I was thinking of getting a punching bag, honestly.
Lana Pribic: Yeah. Oh my gosh. I want to get back into doing Muay Thai and boxing because that's like such a good way
Karen De Luca: Yeah, totally.
Lana Pribic: wow, you've really developed a beautiful practice of self acknowledgement and self compassion. And I think that's such a little unexpected, like a gift of the coaching journey
Karen De Luca: Hmm.
Lana Pribic: I'm always acknowledging you, of course, because you're just doing amazing work and I love to reflect that back to you. But then I'm also asking you to acknowledge yourself. So we're really building this practice of self acknowledgement.
Karen De Luca: Absolutely. And I think that [00:36:00] the framework, the coaching framework was it's such a wonderful tool. Just having that. to fall back on. It made me feel empowered to take on situations in between our sessions to actually have the tools to work through these triggers that I have and that still do come up because we're, I'm human, of course.
And yeah, and it was in a way that I felt like therapy could not, I love therapy. Therapy is amazing, but it didn't feel like I was I really intense emotions in between sessions, for example.
Lana Pribic: Interesting. Interesting. Yeah. I'm learning more and more that most of the tools and resources that we need are within. And it's all about the perspective that we're bringing
. And I really hope to empower the people that I work with to, to see it in that way, because it's so that is freedom, right?
Karen De Luca: Yes, absolutely. Yeah, and I think also just within the coaching container and like feeling that I could really be so vulnerable and so [00:37:00] honest and yeah so so really thank you for that for being such a great coach to.
Lana Pribic: Thank you for being you and for being open to it and for being vulnerable. You did it. asked the questions. You're the one doing it. A lot of what we've been talking about up until now was within our first 12 weeks together where we were meeting every week and it was a deep dive.
And then you decided to continue on for an additional 12 weeks biweekly. And I actually just learned through. That six months of coaching is the sweet spot. So I
Karen De Luca: Oh!
Lana Pribic: Yeah. Who knew? But we did a check in and we were like, okay, what do you want to work on? And our second round was all around.
You wanted to gain clarity on how to scale your business in a way that feels authentic to you to take aligned action and to increase yourself of confidence as a business owner and creative.
Yeah. So I remember that. You were really learning to like embrace [00:38:00] structure and rules, but do it in your own way.
Karen De Luca: Yes.
Lana Pribic: were like hesitant and you didn't like structures and systems, but you were learning to do it in your own way and a way that works with your neurodivergence. Yeah. Can you just speak a little bit about that for people who are listening and maybe feel resistant to structure?
Like how you've embraced doing things your way instead of quote unquote, the right way.
Karen De Luca: Yeah, I think One thing that's been important is to Take all advice from other business people. Owners or just coaches or entrepreneurs out there. Just take it all with a grain of salt and realize that everyone has their own journey and what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for everyone else.
It's been just like realizing that there is no set way to run a business and that I could really create my own ecosystem that works for me that really nourishes me and feels more anabolic. Yeah. And yeah, so I, I think that I always thought [00:39:00] that I think like what I realized and was so thankful for.
I was like, when we started coaching is that you didn't want me to start like. Making tons of to do lists and creating really big crazy goals or structures and really making huge shifts. And I think one thing I've realized is that I really like small incremental changes because they feel comfortable and I can really ease into things and then What else?
I also, throughout the journey, I ended up doing a total rebranding, and because I just felt like it, the old branding did not feel, while I loved it, it just wasn't necessarily a good reflection of me, and now I feel like I have this brand that is a really container for me to just show up in, that I don't need to, you to again play the character.
And then also getting business advice or [00:40:00] learning from other people with ADHD or people that just identify as, just different from the mainstream or from the masses. That's been really helpful too. And just realizing that this is. I'm so blessed to be able to do this and I can also, do it my own way
And, find the right people to work with.
And I would also say that a big part of it has been realizing that the collaborations and partnerships. are for me and like the key it seems to for growth and that feels so wonderful because it's like win situations and yeah, and also even like talking about For example, talking about money or budgets and negotiations with potential clients, it used to be like, really oh, I don't know.
But now it's very much no, let's do it. Let's win. Let's be very honest and transparent. Let's take this bad vibe out of talking about money. And this is like a mutually beneficial relationship. [00:41:00] So how can we really come together and do really great work and enjoy this process?
Lana Pribic: You're just operating in such a novel way. This is the future of business, especially for, creatives. And I think like something we haven't really talked about, but there's this like whole the shadow of the artist and like being the starving artist and the weight associated with can I really make money doing what I love as an artist?
And man, you're figuring it out and you're doing it.
Karen De Luca: Yeah, and it's definitely not easy to shift away from these kind of old school mindsets. And one thing is not always just valuing profit over everything else. That's just not me and that's not how I want my business to operate. But I think it's perfectly acceptable to, to want to make enough money to support my family.
Lana Pribic: And to worth
Karen De Luca: Yeah,
Lana Pribic: Your
Karen De Luca: absolutely.
Lana Pribic: Yeah. Yeah. But just looking at that from a win perspective
Karen De Luca: [00:42:00] Absolutely.
Lana Pribic: how you price things and how you work with people.
Karen De Luca: Yeah, and just the whole absolutely. And it really is just reframing things and yeah, not, I just removed this narrative from me that I need to like, don't know, use weird sales tactics or something like that. It's no, it's just, it's all good.
Lana Pribic: Yeah. Yeah. And how's that working out for you? Like, how's business been? how been working with clients? You're producing some sick work lately.
Karen De Luca: Oh, thank you so much. been so fun. I'm having the best time, honestly, and I'm not even exaggerating. I have, I can't believe some of my clients, I get to work with such cool people, and also have been connecting with other service providers and It's more just like enjoying art and creativity and making really cool work and really great collaborative relationships with other brands.
And I'm, I just, I've [00:43:00] been so happy and I feel so blessed.
Lana Pribic: I may say so, as just an observer of your art it seems like you're really finding your voice and like such a unique sense of style. Like I remember I opened up a double blind and I knew right away that it was your photo because you just have such a distinct style.
Karen De Luca: Oh that's so sweet. Thank you so much. I think it's like also allowing. Who I actually am and what really I enjoy and am interested and think is cool. I'm allowing that to come out instead of trying to make my work look like somebody else's.
Lana Pribic: Yeah.
I know like we were just talking about this last week, right? Like this idea of. Moving and expressing your emotions and like processing emotions through creative outlet.
are you learning about that? And just that process of literally your work being an expression of who you are, what you believe in, what you're going through, like where just is an expression of [00:44:00] you.
Karen De Luca: Yeah, I would say that... I haven't, I would, I don't think that I've it's like I'm creating mass, my masterpieces. It's more, I just feel like I'm finally tapping into the innate artists within me and valuing the influences and my early experiences, actually make an impact upon the work that I'm doing, realizing that my unique perspective, there is something interesting there that I can bring, whether it's like my connection to electronic music or to punk music growing up that this is now I can use that as an influence today.
that is something that's been really fun to, to uncover because I used, I feel like I used to struggle. I was like, I don't know who I am or like what my influences are. And I just would be like almost like writer's block, but like photographer's block or art director's block in a sense.
Lana Pribic: I
Karen De Luca: so yeah. Oh,
Lana Pribic: I love that. I'm so deeply [00:45:00] inspired by what you're saying. This idea of finding the innate artist within, like I have never felt like an artist and It's something that I want to explore right now, with I'm going to be really vulnerable here. I've never shared this with many people, but I'm getting really interested in fashion design and creating clothing that are really an expression.
And I've been, like, creating rave clothing for parties that I go to where you can really just all out and just be whoever. want to be. So I'm yeah, I'm just, I'm so inspired by your words and maybe we'll have to do another episode one day on that process of connecting to that inner artist.
I think
Karen De Luca: Yeah.
Lana Pribic: something there. And, selfish question, what kind of electronic music are you into?
Karen De Luca: I'm into so many different types. I really love house music and techno. I'm from Detroit. That's I Detroit, I'm from there. That's how, where I met my husband. I met him at the electronic music festival in Detroit. I've been going [00:46:00] since I was, yeah. I first started going to that festival when I was 14 years old. And I feel very blessed to have growing up Detroit and just being able to like have all these like really awesome, this amazing music culture and music history and with Motown and techno being close to Canada, Windsor. so there's a lot of different influences. I grew up just like going to shows and now what I'm really into is What would I say in particular?
I really love like more yeah, just like housey dance music. Cause I, that's something I love to dance like so much. So yeah, so like just house and techno and like the Berlin techno, I used to live there as well. So
Lana Pribic: is intense. I call it like machine gun techno, where it's just
Karen De Luca: Yeah, I would say I like a more like a hip hop or like R& B influence as well.
Lana Pribic: Awesome.
Karen De Luca: yeah.
Lana Pribic: A lot of my clients are also into electronic music, so it's always like this. Connecting [00:47:00] thread that we never actually get to talk about, but it's there and I love it.
Yeah, let's see here. Just to keep following the thread of that creativity. How do you thrive as a creative person?
Karen De Luca: I think again it goes back to giving myself, not expecting to always be creative and to always have this like high output not, yeah, not putting this pressure on myself and also not putting pressure on myself to have it all figured out or to like always be happy. And yeah, it's just like letting go of expectations and then really getting enough sleep.
I think sleep. If I was religious, like I would create my own religion that centers around sleep because that is,
Lana Pribic: everything.
Karen De Luca: it is so important. It's so underrated. It's
Lana Pribic: It's the number one life hack
Karen De Luca: seriously just like sleeping and eating well, extremely important going outside. Oh my goodness. Going outside is the best.
Lana Pribic: inspire you?
Karen De Luca: Oh [00:48:00] goodness.
I feel like this was part of our coaching. You started to encourage me to look at my business the way that I look at my garden and my yard.
Lana Pribic: Oh, yeah.
Karen De Luca: that has been so powerful, especially because I have a compost and it's been you can understand logically how compost works, but to actually witness it and see it happen is.
And it's another experience entirely,
like how you put all these old scraps and then they're like, there's all these worms and maggots and cockroaches like decomposing and it seems like disgusting, but then it becomes this beautiful rich soil.
And that also just going outside. On my plants, seeing what's growing, seeing what is like popping up in my yard is grounding, nourishing, so relaxing, gets me out of my head, out of this like anxious space, and more into my body, which is, I find so important to be [00:49:00] here and not always up here.
Lana Pribic: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's beautiful. You have such a strong connection to nature and I'd love to see you lean into that. Yeah, let's, this has been so great. Let's finish off with just a little conversation about parenting or,
psychedelic parenting, if we want to call it for all the mamas out there.
I want to just, acknowledge everyone and have Karen speak a little bit on this. Yeah, I think you're just such a wonderful. Wonderful mother, like just so much love in your heart for
Karen De Luca: Oh, thank you.
Lana Pribic: yeah how is your relationship to being a mom evolved this journey of authenticity?
Karen De Luca: I think that one thing that's been a really huge shift in thinking is seeing it seeing my own personal struggles with parenting, not as personal failures, but more as collective issues, that I'm not in this alone. it isn't [00:50:00] just about me as the mom, it's about The whole community, and I think that's a really important way to look at it because the expectations for mothers insane.
And the pressure to be a perfect mom, whatever that is is ridiculous. And it is so incredibly hard. And I just think that mothers and parents in general don't get enough support. Yeah, I guess I would say that don't be hard like mindful self compassion, use plants as allies to, to help you.
And always remember that it's not just about you and you're not failing or it's okay to make mistakes. And it's a much bigger just us in a sense. And yeah, and mothers are also awesome and they're amazing.
Lana Pribic: You're the best. Oh, moms are everything. I love you, mom.
Karen De Luca: Yes, I love you, mom.
Lana Pribic: Yeah, how have [00:51:00] the medicines or psychedelics been of assistance to you and how do you kind of, as a mom, work with them? Are there like boundaries or rules that you have? When do you lean on them? When do you step away from them?
Karen De Luca: Yeah, I think that's a really interesting point. And something I realized is like that it is, you don't have childcare it's going to be really difficult to do like a macro ceremony, like a backroom mushroom ceremony. And so I think that mainly I haven't been able to experiment as much as I would have liked.
I can't necessarily, fly to a retreat. Because I'm, at this point in my life it's really important that I'm here with my daughter. But I would say that something that's been really lovely and helpful is really I don't really to smoke cannabis. I like to take edibles, and I'll take them in the evening, like around bedtime, and that really helps me unwind and become really present with my daughter.
then, once she's [00:52:00] asleep, then I'll have this time to myself, and I'll spend some time with my husband as well, and we can just honestly laugh. And I think that's something that I love so much about. The plan is that like really it just takes the edge off and like it's I think that everyone needs to enjoy their life a little bit more and just relax.
Just like chill and like everything is very funny, too. If you don't take it so seriously.
Lana Pribic: thing called life. Yeah, there's a humor to it all. Yeah. Thanks for sharing that.
Karen De Luca: Yeah.
Lana Pribic: the last point I have is, so if I can offer you an observation, but something that I've seen in you is that we often talked about like giving yourself grace and especially giving yourself grace as a parent. And I think you've really, You really nurtured that ability and stepped into just giving yourself grace and reminding yourself that, I'm doing my [00:53:00] best and that's really all that you can do. Can you tell people about that grace especially in regards to parenting?
Karen De Luca: I guess I could even bring it back to the early days when my daughter first came home. And was such a huge shock because everything I thought about how motherhood would be turned out to be the complete opposite. Of course you had that like unconditional love, but it was just so intense.
And I remember like looking online at, Like in, in the lead up to the birth, I was looking online at like mom influencers and it, they had built this, like visual world that seems so beautiful and like everything matched and the colors were so cute and their babies were adorable and for the breastfeeding journey was like no big deal and they're like earth moms and like earth goddesses and then like I had a really traumatic birth and [00:54:00] struggled with breastfeeding and just like what the fuck honestly what is this what have I forgotten
Lana Pribic: should have disclaimers.
Karen De Luca: Yeah, seriously, I'm not kidding.
It did my experience and maybe that is accurate for them. And I know some women, for some women, it is a very graceful transition. For me, it was not, it definitely was not.
Lana Pribic: You handle that today, right? With this new level of grace and self compassion that you have for yourself.
Karen De Luca: I would tell everyone in my immediate surroundings, I need help. Give me the help now. I cannot do this on my own. I'm not going to I don't care whatever you think I'm supposed to act like as a mom. I don't have this by myself. Give me the help now. I'm not ashamed to admit that I need help. So get support.
I would also say just in general Line up in, in advance if you ever, if anyone decides, that's listening, decides to have children. Get the postpartum, a perinatal [00:55:00] mental health professional find that person. Figure out if you can get a night nurse like, so, reach out to your community, think about things like that because it's really hard to do it alone.
Lana Pribic: Sounds like it.
Karen De Luca: Yeah.
Lana Pribic: Thank you for sharing that. This has been awesome. Any last words that you want to share with people listening?
Karen De Luca: I get going back to that, like finding the inner artist. I personally believe that everyone has an inner artist. If you look at children, they're all so creative and so interesting. I also would say that plants have really helped me see that more like tapping into that and slowing down and seeing this.
Like how children are. And so I guess I would leave this conversation with like to anyone listening, what brings you joy and follow that and what lights you up and just do it not with any expectation and do it without the fear of failure, just do it. Cause it's fun. Enjoy the journey.[00:56:00]
Lana Pribic: Oh my gosh, you're inspiring me so much. I'm like, I'm going to go and get the artist's way and I'm going to do it and I'm going to discover my inner artist.
Karen De Luca: That is a beautiful book. I love that book. So highly recommend it.
Lana Pribic: But I'm as you were talking, it was just like lighting up inside of my heart to be like, yes, I want to find my inner artist and just start creating.
That's
Karen De Luca: Yeah.
Lana Pribic: you for that. I needed
Karen De Luca: Yeah, no problem. I love what you've already done. So I am excited to see more.
Lana Pribic: thank you. Yeah. Yeah. So are an amazing photographer, storyteller, artist art director. So can you tell people about your work, how they can find out more
Karen De Luca: yeah you can take a look at my portfolio on my website. It's www. studiodeluca. me. I'm on Instagram. My Instagram is karendelucaphoto. And, yeah, so I work with brands in e commerce. And my partner and I... We specialize in product, still life photography fashion, and portraiture, [00:57:00] and we're also developing more of our film division as well, so short form video content is something that we also offer and yeah, you can definitely get in touch with me at also my email is hello at studiodeluca.
me.
Lana Pribic: Amazing. Yeah, your work is truly one of a kind. And I
Karen De Luca: Oh, thank you.
Lana Pribic: to check it out, even just for the visual eye candy. And it's very psychedelic.
Karen De Luca: Yes.
Lana Pribic: Thank you so much for just being here, for sharing your story, for being vulnerable and just, yeah, inspiring me and everyone listening
Karen De Luca: thank you, it's been so fun being on this video.
Lana Pribic: Yeah. right, everyone, thanks for listening and we'll catch you in the next episode.
