132 | The Belief Paradox: They’re Not Real, Yet They Run Our Lives
“ Perhaps the most radical belief of all is the belief that you are allowed to update your story at any time. ”
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Beliefs aren’t real — and yet they shape our lives in very real ways.
In this opening episode of Season Six, Lana explores a paradox that sits at the very root of personal development, consciousness work, and psychedelic integration: beliefs are not truth… yet they determine how we experience reality.
Lana breaks down what beliefs actually are (and what they aren’t), why we need them to function, and how outdated belief systems quietly run our lives long after they’ve stopped serving us.
This episode is an invitation to step out of unconscious patterning and into agency — to see your beliefs not as fixed truths, but as stories you are actively participating in, reinforcing, and therefore capable of updating.
As Lana explains, you may not be able to control everything that happens to you —but you can influence how you interpret it, the meaning you give it, and how you respond. That’s the power of belief systems.
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Topics Covered:
How beliefs differ from objective truth — yet why they still matter deeply
How beliefs shape perception, energy, behavior, and results
Why many of our core beliefs are inherited unconsciously in childhood
How beliefs that once protected us often become the very things that limit us
A real coaching story that illustrates how outdated beliefs create burnout and stagnation
Why changing beliefs isn’t about “positive thinking,” but about alignment and agency
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Things Mentioned in This Episode
Show Links:
Focused Transformation Coaching - A 6-week private coaching experience designed to help you move through one major block or transition in your life.
Psychedelically Informed Life Coaching (6 Month Program)
About Lana Pribic:
Lana Pribic, M.Sc., is an ICF Professional Coach, co-founder of Kanna Wellness, and producer & host of the Modern Psychedelics Podcast. With over 230 hours of professional training and four coaching certifications, Lana specializes in psychedelically-informed coaching, guiding individuals through profound inner transformation. Based in Ontario, she merges the power of psychedelics, consciousness, and self-discovery to facilitate deeply impactful experiences. When she's not immersed in her work, you'll likely find her dancing to electronic beats, creating art in the kitchen, practicing patience with her cat, curating her dream wardrobe, or diving into a book.
Looking for a professional coach to support you on your psychedelic path?
Look no further! Along with being the host of the Modern Psychedelics Podcast, Lana is a 3x certified professional coach who works with people on the psychedelic path.
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Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. I am so excited to be sitting down here in my beautiful Mexico City little condo that I'm staying in for the month of January to be recording this very inspired episode for you today about the paradox of belief systems. And this is a paradox that sits at the very center of personal development, consciousness, work, healing, probably anything that you are doing as a listener of the show.
The paradox is this beliefs aren't real, and yet they shape our lives in very real ways. If beliefs were inherent truth, think about it.
We would call them truth, wouldn't we? But we don't, we call them beliefs. And beliefs are not facts. They're not objective reality. They're not universal truths. They are things that we take on to be personally, true for us. Often things that we choose to be true consciously or unconsciously, without any real way to verify them.
And yet we need beliefs. We can't function without them. So today I want to talk about this paradox and how it relates to the deep work that you're probably navigating, my dear listener.
So what we're gonna talk about today is why beliefs aren't real, why they still matter a lot, and how updating your belief system can structurally and fundamentally change how you experience life and probably greatly support whatever it is that you are wanting to achieve at this point in time.
So what are beliefs and what are they not? Let's start here. Beliefs are not truth. Like I said, they're not fixed, they're not universal. Beliefs are stories, they're frameworks, interpretations that we use to make sense of the world. They often are created to keep us safe, loved, or simply functioning Beliefs, organize our experience.
They influence our energy. They inform our decisions, and they shape how we see ourselves, others, and what's possible. Beliefs, shape, perception, and consciousness. And this is exactly what makes them so powerful. So even though beliefs aren't real in this objective, universal fixed sense, they become real through us, through how we think, feel, act, and show up.
That's the paradox. Not real yet, incredibly powerful. How do you know that something is a belief? If something is true for you, but not necessarily true for everyone, then it's a belief and not a truth. So we wanna think of beliefs as stories. We're all writing the book of our own lives, whether we know it or not, and the foundation of that book is the belief system.
That drives our lives. And what determines how that story unfolds is our belief systems. We can choose to write a different story at any time. In fact, we are writing the story right now. We are always writing the story and we can choose to change the plot, introduce new characters, add a plot, twist, whatever it is.
It's not fixed. We're making it up as we go. Kind of like belief systems. So why do we need beliefs at all? Well, we need beliefs because without them, there would be no sense of subjective lived experience, and we'd probably all be living very similar lives to one another without beliefs.
Beliefs at their core differentiate me from you or you from the next person. They reflect our personal values, our upbringing, our experiences, what we know and what we don't know. They're incredibly personal and in fact, if you wanna get to know someone, really look at their belief systems, which is why I feel like I really know my coaching clients really well.
'cause this is the work that we do together for months at a time. So. Like I said, beliefs are incredibly personal, whereas Capital T truth is incredibly universal. Capital T truth is true for everyone regardless of consensus. Regardless of what point of time it is. Capital T truth does not change ever.
Whereas belief systems are stories. They're not universally true, but they are true for us personally, and we are the ones who make them true. So belief systems to summarize, help us orient ourselves. They help us create meaning. They reduce uncertainty in life at times, and they give us a sense of safety, coherence, and direction.
In fact, it is my. Very empowering personal belief that the freedom to choose our beliefs is one of the most potent expressions of human free will. And so if we look at it that way, belief systems are actually a really big deal. And you may not be able to control everything that happens to you, but you can influence how you interpret it, the meaning that you give it and how you respond.
That's the role that beliefs play. Beliefs will shape how you interpret things, the meaning that you give to things and how you respond and show up and the results that you get. And that will create a feedback loop into your belief systems because actually our belief systems are often fed and informed by our experiences.
And so an example that I wanna give you about this is that imagine it's the first day of school and a teacher walks into the classroom and this classroom is full of many students with different backgrounds, experiences, family upbringings, and therefore very different belief systems. Now the teacher at the end of the class assigns.
The students some homework. And based on each student's belief systems, each student will perceive and interpret this event differently. The student who believes that formal education is a crucial part of human development, and an important part of their future. Might respond to the homework assignment with, you know, perhaps it's gonna be excitement or acceptance.
And as a result, the student might get started on their homework assignment right away and will probably very likely receive a pretty high grade, due to the way that they are viewing school and homework assignments in general. Whereas another student who believes that maybe. Formal education is outdated and it's a useless institution.
Well, this student may respond to the homework assignment with annoyance, resistance, apathy, and as a result, they may procrastinate, they may do the bare minimum. Or they may not even do the assignment at all because what's the point? It's useless. Right? So as a result, they're likely going to receive a very low grade.
So we can see that this belief system for each of these two students is going to greatly inform their, you know, success in school. And we can see here that beliefs drive perception, how we perceive something, which drives our reaction, which drives our actions and the results that we get. So hopefully by now you're really understanding what a belief is, how it operates within us internally, and the role that it plays from internal experience of belief system to external experience of actions taken in the world.
But here's the thing that most of us forget. most people walking around this planet are not consciously choosing. Their beliefs, and we certainly don't consciously choose our earliest beliefs. As young children, we don't even know what a belief is, right? We're not really thinking about it, but we inherit our belief system from caregivers, from culture, family systems, survival needs, family dynamics.
All of that can influence the belief system that we adapt. And you know, many of those beliefs that we inherited may have served a very real purpose and made sense for the time. But here's the problem, beliefs that once protected, supported, or moved us forward in life, often become the ones that limit us later in life, which is another.
Paradox about beliefs. Beliefs tend to outlive their usefulness, which is why they're not meant to be fixed, which is why they're not universal truth, because universal truth is fixed. Beliefs are not. They're fluid and deeply personal and they can be changed at any time. So I wanna share a story with you from a client that I coached a couple of days ago, this client actually inspired this episode and so.
I want to share, a little bit about their process in really confronting their belief system. So I wanna call this client Allie. Allie carried this belief that we actually excavated in the middle of a coaching session that Allie has to do it all, it's all on me. the belief that was running the show was this narrative that I have to do it all, it's all on me.
If I don't do it all, nothing will get done and everything will collapse. What a tremendous amount of pressure. But this belief made all the sense. At one point in Ali's life, they were a parent of two children. They needed to be hyper capable, , hyper responsible, hyper available.
Their kids needed ally. And after all. Ali really did need to do it all at one point when the children were younger. So this belief kept things running. It created structure, it supported survival, it supported the family unit. But years later today, when Ali has very ambitious career goals. After decades of not working, the same belief is burning Allie out and holding Allie back.
It's creating resentment, it's blocking momentum, keeping them stuck and over-functioning, creating tension in relationships because the truth is allie's. Kids are older now. They're teenagers and young. And their children want more. Agency Ali no longer has to do it all. We discovered in the session that there's actually no way that Ali can possibly hold this belief that they have to do it all and reach their ambitions in career and personal development.
This belief didn't suddenly become false. It's more that it became outdated and it no longer supports who Ali is today. So by the end of the session, Ali came to a new belief that fell true for them today, and this belief sounded something like it is safe for me to take care of myself, and when I do that, everyone can benefit.
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Speaker: So here's the key insight from that story about Allie. I have to do it all and it's safe for me to take care of myself. These are both just stories. One is not inherently more true than the other, what makes a belief true is not evidence or proof. It's an enactment, and you are the one who makes a belief real.
Your beliefs are yours. Everyone else's beliefs are their own. You are the only one who makes your beliefs true. Your beliefs real. And how do you do that? By choosing it, by believing it, and by acting as if it's true. That's it. Let's look at the energetic difference between these two beliefs. I have to do it all.
This creates scarcity. It reinforces victimhood, which is the lowest level of consciousness that one can operate at, and it's a level of consciousness that really tends to hold us back, which we can see in Allie who sought out coaching from me. It also removes agency from others. This is such a good point.
I have to do it all is another way of saying you can't do it on your own. I don't trust you to do it on your own. You need my help, which again, when Ali's children were smaller. May have been true and made sense, but that's not really the case anymore. It also keeps you in control. It's over responsibility and exhaustion and ultimately this belief that I have to do it all creates no time for Allie and Allie's.
Goals. Whereas it's safe for me to take care of myself. I mean, even when I just say that it feels so much lighter. It feels so much lighter. This creates trust and open space for support. It returns agency to everyone else involved, right? It allows us to see everyone else as gifted and full of potential rather than inadequate and needing our help.
Just that alone clears up so much space, right? It allows for regulation and sustainability and choice, and ultimately. It creates space for Ali and their goals, which can only benefit their family at this point in time. Same circumstances, different belief system, completely different lived experience.
That's the power of belief systems, but it's really hard to change belief systems alone. So at this point in time, you're probably thinking, oh my gosh, this is amazing information. I really wanna get to work on my belief system and start updating my beliefs that are no longer true. And.
bringing in some more empowering beliefs that will support me in what it is that I am wanting to accomplish or experience in life. Great. That's exactly what I want this episode to do. However, I will say that this, this work can be very tricky because we personally don't experience our beliefs as stories.
We experience them as truth. Right. Our beliefs are our personal truths. Again, not universal truths. They're true for us, not necessarily for everyone else. Beliefs are lowercase T truths, right? And universal truths are uppercase T truths that are non-negotiable, un debatable, but personal truths feel obvious.
They feel factual, they feel unquestionable, but the truth is they are not factual or unquestionable. When outdated belief systems don't match up with the life that we're currently living or where we want to go, that's when we start to feel stuck. We freeze. The system freezes because the software is outdated.
The software being your belief system and the system being you. This is when we are unable to move forward, no matter how much clarity we have around where it is that we want to go. And this is usually the point where people come to me for coaching. They feel stuck. They know where they want to go, but they can't alone.
See the belief systems that are driving the show, because to them it's just default, it's truth. There's no questioning it, and that's where the eyes and ears and attention of a skilled coach can become. Very, very valuable, and this is why support is often a good idea. If you want to take this work seriously.
It's hard to see through the lens you're looking through, especially when you've been. Wearing that lens your entire life. And so an expert consciousness coach can be really powerful because they can reflect the belief back to you so that you can see it instead of unconsciously living inside of it. You would be so surprised at how often a client of mine is just babbling and talking, and then in the middle of their Babel, I hear it.
I hear the belief, and they'll just slip it in and usually it's just a sentence and I'm like, ah. There it is. That's the thing that you believe to be true, that is holding you back. Let's explore that. Let's look at that. Let's explore why that isn't necessarily true, the impact that it's having on you, and how can we update that to something that feels more true and supportive and empowering for you today.
And so the question becomes, if beliefs are running the show anyway, why not choose them consciously? Why not choose the beliefs that feel right and true and align for us today? That doesn't mean that we bypass reality. It doesn't mean toxic positive thinking. It doesn't mean pretending that everything's fine or hyping ourselves up.
It just means asking ourselves things like, does this belief expand me or contract me? Does it increase my agency, or does it diminish it? Does it align with who I'm becoming? Does it make sense for who I know myself to be today? And a great question to ask yourself when really starting this work is, where did this belief come from and how did it support me at one point?
Because beliefs don't need to be fixed. They just need to be useful, they need to be aligned, and they need to support the life that you're actually wanting to live.
So in closing, beliefs aren't real, but they shape your reality in a very powerful way every single day. They shape how you love, they shape how you work, how you see the world, how you relate to yourself, and see yourself, how you relate to and see others what you think is possible for yourself.
I mean, this is big stuff. This is beyond the surface of. Positive thinking. This is really getting to the root of where our thoughts come from, of our perception. And so if beliefs are going to shape your life anyways, you may as well choose the ones that are gonna help you move forward and be the person who you want to be, who you know yourselves to be towards alignment, towards agency, towards higher consciousness.
And I wanna leave you with this. Perhaps the most radical belief of all is the belief that you are allowed to update your story. You are allowed to update your story at any time. If this conversation, an exploration around belief systems is lighting you up, I'm so excited that it's lighting you up. If you're starting to notice the stories that you've been living inside of, and you can feel that some of them are outdated or maybe you can't quite.
See what the story is, but you can sense that there is a story there that you're living out that is no longer true. This is exactly the deep dive work that I do in my one-on-one coaching program. This is a consciousness coaching program. Which I have been running for four or five years now.
Uh, we use a research validated map of consciousness to help you identify the belief systems you're currently operating from. See how those beliefs shape your daily energy decisions, patterns, relationships, dismantle the beliefs that no longer serve you. And of course, the best part consciously. Update your internal operating system so that it aligns with who you're becoming, not who you had to be to survive.
So this is not about fixing, it's about seeing things clearly and choosing differently from that clarity. So if you're ready to work with your belief system at that root level, beyond mindset hacks or surface level change. This is a program that is greatly supportive for anyone who is currently working with psychedelics.
Interested in psychedelics or just overall really wanting to create change from the root for once and for all. And so this really powerful step I have, the Consciousness coaching program. Information on my website. You can apply@modernpsychedelics.net slash apply.
You can also email me at hello@modernpsychedelics.net. And if you're wanting to work on a very specific belief and you don't want to commit to the full six month program, I do have a six week mini container coaching program where we work through a specific area in your life in a short amount of time.
So in just six weeks. This is my newest program. It's much more accessible. It's really sharp, laser focused and just a great way to, work through something that. Is already at the surface for you. Like if you're just like, I know what it is, I wanna get to work, let's do it.
The focus transformation coaching program is for you. So both of those programs are on the website, modern psychedelics.net. Just go to the coaching tab. All of the links are in the show notes on Spotify, apple, wherever you're listening. And if now is not the time to hire a coach.
I do hope that this episode is an invitation for you to start paying attention because once you see a belief as a belief, not truth, you get some of your agency back. So thank you so much for listening. Sending you a big hug for Mexico City. Take care of yourself and we will talk soon.
