122 | Iboga Round Two: Facing My Darkest Shadow & Getting to the Root at Etéreo
“ When you consume Iboga, you’re entering a lifelong relationship with your own truth. Iboga teaches you to see truth and to see the value of living life in alignment with your truth.”
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In perhaps my most raw episode yet, I share the recent experience of my second work with Iboga at Etéreo: Center for Truth in Baja, Mexico. As I recounted this journey, I shed many unexpected tears while reflecting on the resistance I faced, the shadows I had to confront, and the enormous clarity that emerged through this recent work with the Iboga medicine. With stern realness and my signature vulnerability, I discuss how Iboga worked on me as a sharp, clear mirror, showing me a part of myself I had long suppressed.
Guided by Paije A. West and her team, I was able to unearth and start bringing love and acceptance to the deep well of shame I had been working very diligently to keep hidden beneath the surface. This episode highlights the significance of preparation, the courage required to face the darkest aspects of ourselves, and the gifts that await when we’re willing to see ourselves clearly with Truth. This episode is a reflection on the beauty and intensity of the healing process, a declaration of love to Iboga, and an exploration of the journey towards radical self-acceptance.
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Topics Covered:
The Importance of Preparation: How preparation for a Iboga sets the tone for psychological safety required to truly see ourselves.
Resistance and Shadows: Confronting the difficult emotions, fears, and aspects of self that arise during deep healing work.
Iboga as a Mirror: How Iboga, AKA Truth Medicine, makes us see ourselves as we are, for better or for worse.
Facing Shame: Working through the deep well of shame that was hiding beneath the surface of my conscious awareness.
Guidance: The importance of having a trusted facilitator and professional supportive team during an Iboga journey.
The Courage to Look Within: The bravery required to truly see ourselves, no matter how uncomfortable the process is.
Spiritual Gifts from Iboga: The wisdom and clarity that emerge when we are ready to receive them, and how to honor these insights.
Radical Self-Acceptance: The journey towards accepting all parts of ourselves, even the aspects we’ve been ashamed of, rejected and suppressed.
LISTEN
Things Mentioned in This Episode
Show Links:
Paije Alexanda West (Instagram)
Iboga Preparation & Integration Coaching Program (Now enrolling): The world's most comprehensive coaching program for Psycho-spiritual Iboga work
Substack: "Cracked Wide Open: My Journey Back to Iboga Was Challenging & Confronting."
About Lana Pribic:
Lana Pribic, M.Sc., is an ICF Professional Coach, co-founder of Kanna Wellness, and producer & host of the Modern Psychedelics Podcast. With over 230 hours of professional training and four coaching certifications, Lana specializes in psychedelically-informed coaching, guiding individuals through profound inner transformation. Based in Ontario, she merges the power of psychedelics, consciousness, and self-discovery to facilitate deeply impactful experiences. When she's not immersed in her work, you'll likely find her dancing to electronic beats, creating art in the kitchen, practicing patience with her cat, curating her dream wardrobe, or diving into a book.
Looking for a professional coach to support you on your psychedelic path?
Look no further! Along with being the host of the Modern Psychedelics Podcast, Lana is a 3x certified professional coach who works with people on the psychedelic path.
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Lana Pribic: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome. It is with great honor and pleasure that I sit down in my little home office to record a very special episode for you today where I'm going to be sharing about my second experience with the Iboga medicine at Etéreo in Baja, Mexico. Now I'm gonna be doing things a little bit differently in a lot of ways today.
One of the things is that I actually have no script. I have no notes. I don't even really have a plan for this episode, and that's because. It was such a raw experience for me that I really want to just be present with what's here for me and what feels right to share for me in this moment, and who knows, maybe I will record this and not be happy with it and not end up releasing it.
But [00:01:00] for some reason it just felt right today to just, you know, put on a nice outfit, get myself together, set up my mic and just talk to you guys. So if you're new to. Podcast and you're joining because you're curious about the Iboga medicine and the Iboga experience and what that's all about.
Welcome. I am Lana Pribic, and I have to say that I'm probably. The person in the world who has covered the iboga medicine the most, outside of very iboga specific people and platforms, there are a ton of episodes from 2022. Up until today about Iboga, I have interviewed. World recognized thought leaders and experts and researchers in the iboga space, as well as having shared about my first IBOGA [00:02:00] experience from two and a half years ago throughout the years.
So if you're completely new to the medicine, I'm not gonna be talking too much about what Iboga is. Maybe it's a good idea for you to. Pause this one and go listen to some of the other episodes that I have that go more into what Iboga is, or if you just wanna come along for the ride and hear a little bit about what the experience is like.
Kind of blindly then that is definitely welcomed and encouraged. And before we get started, a very important disclaimer that I have for you is if you are someone who is planning on working with Iboga soon, or has even decided that you will be working with Iboga in the coming future, I would. Suggest one of two things for you.
One is to just not consume this podcast at all, and that is because consuming other people's trip reports can play a [00:03:00] great role in preparing us and priming us and programming us for our own experience. And I know we say this about all psychedelics, that every experience is different and everyone's journey is different and everyone interacts with the medicine differently, but.
I really can't express how uniquely true that is for Iboga. Iboga is the world's strongest, deepest, most thorough mirror. I. That is available to us as humanity. It is the one medicine that is not just strong in terms of effect and physicality and length, but it's also real. It is very real, and there's really no escaping yourself on iboga.
It's for people who are really willing to look at themselves deeply and so. Because of the nature of Iboga, it particularly has a very unique way of working with every single individual [00:04:00] person, more so than other medicines, I would say. And while there are some common experiences that. Many people can have.
And while there are common messages and takeaways and truths , that different people can walk away with from Iboga, the way that these truths are delivered to you are going to be as unique as you are. And so that's my first tip is just don't consume this. My second option here is if you do wanna consume it and you're curious and you're planning to work with Iboga in the future, please do me a favor and consume this episode with.
The full recognition of everything that I just said before. This is my experience. Okay, this is my experience. This is how it happened to me and for me, and I'm sharing this because I love to share. I have a platform that's built around sharing, and I'm passionate about bringing awareness. To the [00:05:00] realities of working with these types of medicines, especially Iboga.
However, please note as you are listening that my experience is mine and that your experience is gonna be very different than mine. And however you think your Iboga experience will be, it won't be. I'll just say that. So. Now that that's out of the way. Another disclaimer that I have is that, doing the work that I do, this is one of the retreat centers that I have worked with professionally and have gone to attend the retreat at Etéreo as a media exchange.
So what that means is, instead of paying out of pocket for the experience, I did a media exchange where we agreed that I would do some coverage on the modern psychedelics platform. In exchange for my retreat spot. And so you can expect this podcast episodes. A couple more a vlog and just some really fun, detailed [00:06:00] coverage.
And a note on that, I don't work with just anyone. I have had a relationship and a friendship with Paije Alexandra West, who is the iboga. Provider, the, you know, the main Iboga provider at Etéreo for, I would say at least three years. Um, her and I have been Instagram besties for, you know, ever since I did Iboga the first time she reached out to me.
And we have just been, iboga sisters who just absolutely love and are obsessed with this medicine. I don't just work with anyone. I really. Am so careful about the people that I highlight, especially the providers, and I can with my full heart and my full soul, really vouch for and recommend Paije Alexandra West and her team with such a clear conscience.
So. Yeah, it was a very intentional collaboration and partnership and we're already seven minutes in here and you're probably like, oh my God, Lana, shut up. Like, let's get into the experience. But I [00:07:00] do really feel that it's important for us to put these disclaimers out there and really be cautious and careful of our expectations in consuming trip reports and.
I'm also gonna be sharing a little bit differently about this experience than I have in the past. You know, if you have listened to my first IBOGA experience, which was episode 45 and 49, I, you know, I barely held back. Yes, there were, you know, a lot of important things that I didn't share with you guys, but I really took you through.
Play by play, my visions, my experience, everything. And I'm gonna be pulling back on that approach a little bit just because this experience was so incredibly vulnerable, deep and personal, and honestly challenging for me that there's a lot of it that is sacred to me and that I am still. Sitting with integrating, making sense of, and learning how to love and [00:08:00] accept within myself.
So there's a lot there that I will not be sharing with you guys. As you can see, as you can hear, I am starting to get emotional as I'm starting to tap into the depth of the experience that I had this time. Um, but yeah. I'm just learning to be a little bit more cautious, a little bit more ethical, and a little bit more oriented towards not priming people for their own experience within my sharing.
So without a further ado, let's get into this experience that I had So I had signed up for this retreat, probably . How long in advance? I would say probably three or four months in advance. And prior to that, I sat with Iboga two and a half years ago from the date that we had this retreat in.[00:09:00]
April, 2025. So I'm about three weeks out of the experience. And I have to say that I have definitely been in a little bit of an integration hole. This was the hardest experience of my life and it was an experience where I had to confront, oh my gosh, why am I already crying? See, I didn't wear mascara today 'cause I knew that I was probably gonna cry.
I had to confront a part of myself that I have been avoiding and ashamed of for, you know, at least a decade, but I think in a lot of ways that I haven't even uncovered yet. It's probably been something that I have been avoiding within myself for my entire life. And so. Just as I share this, I want you guys to know that, um, this [00:10:00] was an experience that really cut deep and I wanna share about this medicine with the deepest reverence because we're really not playing around when it comes to iboga.
Um, like I said, it's the clearest, sharpest, mirror that we have access to in order to look at ourselves, study our life, and evaluate who we are in this world. It's incredibly, incredibly powerful. So before I signed up for this Etérero retreat, I obviously had a relationship with Iboga. I fell so in love with Iboga. You know, I was coming out of like 40 ayahuasca ceremonies.
I really thought Ayahuasca was like my medicine, and you know, it was for a time. But I really, really found myself with the Iboga plant. And right after I left Iboga Wellness Center in 2022, I knew in my soul that Iboga was gonna play a really big part in my [00:11:00] path. And I knew that I was going to be sitting with it again.
And it wasn't until after my five M-E-O-D-M-T experience, which opened my psyche and energetic body up. So much that I actually started to have psychological content that was deeply suppressed, start to surface. And over time I started to realize that I was ready to sit with Iboga again and really go into a deeper level of healing for myself.
Let me just take a drink of water here 'cause I can feel how shaky my voice is.
And so back in October, 2024, um, I reconnected with the Iboga medicine and I actually did a Bwiti ritual on the river here where I live. Levi, the Iboga provider that I sat with the first time, he really talked [00:12:00] me through how to do this ritual and I did it. And you know, with that I feel that I got to really reconnect with the energy of the medicine.
And it wasn't long after that that I interviewed Paije Alexandra West and got to really dive a little bit deeper with her. And then basically immediately after, I had a very strong sense that I wanted my second Iboga experience to be, I. With her. And so my soul has been guiding me so strongly this whole time, and it's been just a matter of following each step, and trusting myself.
And I can say that sitting with Paije Alexandra West and experiencing her medicine was absolutely what I needed. And that, you know, my. All of the things leading up to this experience made so much sense. And so I started to really have a hard time with the preparation work, which you guys [00:13:00] can probably listen to. I did a couple of Iboga Prep episodes not too long ago.
I mean, you can go back to those and hear just how challenging the preparation process was for me and. You know, iboga is a medicine that works really slowly. And when you consume Iboga, you're entering a lifelong relationship with the plant. And not just the plant, but with your own truth.
'cause Iboga teaches you to see truth and to see the value of living life in alignment with your truth. And so. It's a very spiritual path to take Iboga. And I guess it doesn't have to be for everyone. And I don't wanna put that on anyone, but for me it has been a very spiritual path. In fact, I feel that with Iboga and with the Bwiti tradition, the Bwiti cultural technology, I have really found,
my spiritual path. And you know, even if it's not fully my spiritual path, it's [00:14:00] a big component of my spiritual path. And it has such a great resonance with my soul. And so going to Etéreo, and leading up to it, I was really nervous. I was working with my psychotherapist. I was bringing.
Some suppressed content to the surface and getting into some really messy corners of my mind. I was consuming cannabis quite frequently, and I do see that the cannabis, while I do think I have some dependency on it. I do see that overall it has played a really important and positive role in my life because as someone who's very, like type A, who is high functioning, uh, probably has a DHD, um, who doesn't these days, right?
Um. I'm just a very kind of rigid person in general, and I do think that the cannabis played a [00:15:00] big role in loosening up my mind, along with the five MEO experience. And so my five MEO year long experience of integration was filled with lots of cannabis consumption, and I do think that the cannabis played a big role in loosening up my mind and kind of getting into some of those.
Creases and spots where I was too scared to go. And so leading up, yeah, lots of challenges. And then, you know, when the day finally came to fly to Mexico, I felt very excited, very ready. I was so excited to meet the medicine and as soon as we arrived, me and the rest of the guests arrived on the retreat property.
It was just. So beautiful. The property itself, but the moment that I was in the presence of Paije Alexandra West and Fletcher and Ixchel and Chef Paul and Violet, and just the entire team, I felt so at [00:16:00] ease and it was so amazing to finally meet Paije Alexandra West in person after all of these years. She's just as cool and badass and normal human vibes in person, if not more so than she is.
Online. And so I immediately felt cradled and comforted, and we had such an amazing group to all of my fellow Journeyers who were at the retreat with me. I love you all so much. I don't think I've ever been to a retreat where the group was just that close, that lovely, and like there was just so much love and respect amongst the Journeyers themselves.
So. Yeah. So proud of every single one of us for doing what we did. Um. Uh, you know, as soon as we arrived, I, I love to talk about food, as you guys know, 'cause I'm a huge foodie and I have to say that Chef Paul, as Paije Alexandra West [00:17:00] says, is such a star. He makes the most beautiful gut friendly. Healthy food. He has a very zero waste approach where you know if there's leftovers, things are reused in creative ways.
He makes amazing sauces. Everything was so fresh. I've never felt better on a retreat. And as someone who is quite purge-y with ayahuasca, with iboga, I did not even feel nauseous or purge once during this retreat. So shout out to Chef Paul. Absolutely love your cooking. Absolutely love you as a person. You know, it's weird to like highlight and spotlight the cook of a retreat, but.
As I was moving through some of the challenging moments in the retreat, Paul just has this loving, grounded, pure presence about him that, sometimes I would just go sit in the kitchen while he was cooking and just like being in his presence was enough to [00:18:00] regulate and calm me.
, it was a big part of the experience. And I'll talk about some of the other people in the retreat who were also just so lovely coming up, I'm sure. But yeah, everything about the retreat was so well done. I mean, Etéreo definitely takes some more luxurious beauty oriented, God is in the details approach.
Everything was so stunning. Like, we got these really. Fun, practical, um, welcome gifts with, you know, a little tote and a bunch of other little items like a candle and a parrot feather, which is significant in the Bwiti tradition. And so everything just felt amazing. And by the time the ceremony came around, you know, I felt really prepared.
I was definitely really nervous. But just excited to be reconnecting with the medicine and my first ceremony. So [00:19:00] there was two ceremonies in the retreat, which is quite typical. My first ceremony was actually very gentle, and I, looking back, I do think that that's because. You know, iboga was working with me to meet me where I was at, and I was so nervous.
I was so scared that it really just gave me a gentle experience. And what I experienced that night was, you know, I'm still kind of making sense out of the first ceremony coming out of it. I was like, wow, that was gentle and great, but I made a lot of progress on some things. And while I do think I made some progress, it didn't even scratch the surface Comparison to the progress that I made in the second ceremony. And so part of me thinks that the medicine was actually showing me what it is that I do in my mind to distract myself and skirt around the thing that [00:20:00] I am avoiding within myself, which it showed me in the second ceremony. And so the ceremony was beautiful.
I bounced back really quickly, so in the morning, usually people are kind of down. It's still hard to walk, still feeling the medicine. After the first ceremony, I bounced back really quickly. I was like, I could walk. I was like, I'm ready for breakfast. Um, I started reading the Iboga Experience book right away.
And I had this afterglow of falling in love with the medicine all over again. And just feeling the energy of it in me and feeling how clear it was, just reminded me that I love Iboga and Iboga loves me and that there's nothing to be afraid of. And you know, in a way, I think that. The medicine was showing me by like [00:21:00] basically that first ceremony.
I was in this question answer phase with the medicine where I was processing things and working through things, and it felt very like, logical, practical, sturdy, , and.
I'm, I'm not sure what to make of it, honestly, because I feel like the second ceremony kind of overshadowed the first one for me. But I would say that between the first ceremony and the second ceremony, there was, you know. Two day, two, three full days, right? We have the aftercare day, which is the day immediately after ceremony.
The, you know, the recovery day. Um, some places call it the discovery day or the gray day. It's that day where you're still in the medicine. And then we have the integration day, and then on the third day after that night, a ceremony. So we had about three days in between ceremonies. [00:22:00] Those three days were really important for me, so there was a psychotherapist on site the entire time, violet, and she was so helpful for me in my process.
She did an Internal Family Systems workshop with us, which was great. But I also, , took some time to do a one-on-one with her, and she provided me with some. Amazing redirect. And the, the most powerful redirect that she gave me was, you know, you seem really focused on your dad and how do we focus, how do we like focus on you?
Like, can we just focus on you? And I was like, I kind of laugh 'cause I was like, oh my God, this is literally what I tell my coaching clients all of the time. But I couldn't see that blind spot within myself. And it was within this time that I was able to revisit my questions for Iboga. So for people who don't know, iboga is a medicine that you come to with questions about [00:23:00] your life.
So you form these questions of things in your life that you want to know about. And usually a lot of people have the same questions, such as like, how am I holding myself back? Uh, what's my purpose in life? What am I not seeing? How do I release my codependency? You know, you come with these questions and within these three days of integration time between ceremonies, I really focused in on what I was there to work on.
It became very clear to me that, a lot of my questions and a lot of my intentions were distractions. They were distractions for myself. And so I really took the time in between these. Ceremonies to journal, to talk to Violet, to talk to Paije Alexandra West, and to really hone in on what it is that I'm actually here to do.
And it was a powerful process [00:24:00] because it allowed me to go into the second ceremony with a much sharper and more attuned sense of. What it is that is actually causing me pain and misalignment and confusion in my life.
And by the way, all throughout this time. Before the first ceremony and the second ceremony, we had medical check-ins, which was new for me. They don't do this at Iboga Wellness Center 'cause it's not technically necessary for psychospiritual. Iboga retreats,, to check the vitals. But you know, Paije Alexandra West is just extra cautious and extra vigilant about the medical stuff.
So, there was a medical person on site and she did our vitals, so Pulse and., blood pressure, and then they also had IVs that we were able to get at an extra cost. And some people got like [00:25:00] magnesium or more multivitamin IVs and I opted not to, but they said that they really made a difference.
So I would definitely be curious in offering that. And I really enjoyed how. There was a merging of the traditional and the modern, the African and the west. And I think that that's really cool and that that's that we're gonna be seeing a lot more of that in the iboga world.
So, you know, there was also a massage. We had a yoga session before the first ceremony, which was really nice. I went for a run before the first ceremony. It was just like a nice added layer of safety to know that there was. A medic there on site just in case anything went wrong, although we all did thorough blood panels and EKGs to get cleared. Um, but you know, I really appreciated how extra vigilant,, Paije Alexandra West and Etéreo are with the medical stuff.
So for anyone out there [00:26:00] who's really paranoid about that and you know, perhaps requires extra care with that, know that they are, they're really on top of things there. We also had the spiritual shower on the integration day., and this was lovely. We went to the ocean. So Baja, if you guys haven't been to Baja, it was my first time.
It was my first time in Mexico. But Baja, California, sir, is on the Pacific coast of Mexico and it is such a fascinating landscape. It is where the Pacific Ocean meets. Raw, expansive, ancient desert. And it was actually my first time in the desert as well. I fell in love and it was really cool driving to the spiritual shower, on the beach.
You know, we're like offroading through desert land, like sand dune type of roads, and then all of a sudden these palm trees appear and you're entering a beach environment. So the landscape and the nature surrounding this [00:27:00] experience was absolutely stunning.
And I was like, I was wondering before the experience how I would, how it would feel to experience Iboga in a desert environment. And it was really cool. It was really cool. In fact, Paije Alexandra West and Fletcher Fletcher is Paije Alexandra West's husband, who's a co-facilitator and just such a rock star. It was, I have a funny story to share about him later.
Um, but they actually took me on a tour of their property that they bought. It's like very, it's like 24 acres of expansive, beautiful desert land and.
It was really cool to see the plans that they have for this retreat property space.
That was really weird. I started to tell you guys about something and the internet just went out. So I'm gonna take that as a sign that the Iboga spirit doesn't want me to tell you about. [00:28:00] That literally has never happened to me while using Riverside. So let's move on. Let's get into the second ceremony.
'cause this is really where everything just unfolded for me and it was the hardest fucking thing I've ever done in my entire life. So. I feel like I could probably, you know, I could probably sense that it was gonna be a big ceremony for me. Did I know or realize, or expect that it was gonna be as big as it was?
Absolutely not, but I, I, I imagine that my soul could sense it because, oh man, at the fire talk. So the fire talk is a time, you know, it's the first part of ceremony, um, where we all sit at the fire and the Bwiti elders or the Bwiti providers share bui wisdom and lessons. With the guests at the fire, and it's a chance to really start to [00:29:00] feel into the energy of the medicine, but also the way that Paije Alexandra West described it was like it's a way to start breaking the mind up and loosening the mind so that the medicine can work with you.
So. I love the fire talks and man, oh man, was I a whiny little bitch at the fire talks Fletcher Paije Alexandra West hel. I am so sorry for being such a whiny little baby bi. At the fire talk and giving you such a hard time with taking down the medicine and just, I was just, I was just whiny. And you know, they say that iboga really can break you down and regress you
into a childlike state. And you know, I don't wanna give excuses, but let's just say that I was definitely feeling like a little baby and a little child at this time. You know, Paije Alexandra West she believes that if you come to an Iboga retreat, you , eat iboga. And so she does not like to serve Iboga in [00:30:00] capsules.
She does not serve the wood in capsules. So, you know. Huh Paije Alexandra West. Love you girl. But that was brutal. She basically gave us a bowl of iboga to eat. Um, it was not pleasant. It was not easy to get down. It was really harsh, honestly. And of course, all the other guests were just like, not. Little babies about it.
And I was just like, I don't want to, I can't. And I even tried to, uh, make them not make me eat the rest of the root bark. And they were like, you know, don't waste the medicine. Basse true that 'cause iboga is becoming endangered and we should not be wasting the sacred route. But Wow. I think I was really sensing that this was gonna be a hard journey for me.
And so at the Fire Talk, the medicine was kind of starting to come on, but not too strongly for me. And we were transitioned over to our mats and, you know, the Bwiti music was [00:31:00] playing. I personally love the Bwiti music. I've sat through Iboga ceremonies, with the retreats that I've done as a helper and my own sits, I just, I don't know, I, I really like the Bwiti music, but a lot of people really struggle with it.
You know, the music was playing. There's like a beautiful altar. We're actually outside. There's a fire in the background. There's like 10 staff, like there's so many staff. , they're creating a soundscape for us with the rattles. And I was so in resistance.
Holy shit. I was so in resistance and you know. We have eye shades that are provided to us. And once you get on your mat, like, you know, there's nothing to look around at. Iboga is about going inside. It's about going into yourself. I could not even put the eye shade on. Like Ixchel came up to me and she was like, um, Lana.
Put your eye shade on. And I was like, Ugh, fine. You know, like I was just like a bratty little child. Um, I was resisting the medicine. And then [00:32:00] Paije Alexandra West, at some point, you know, she served me two more rounds of medicine not sure how much any of that means or anything, but basically I could really sense and feel that I was resisting so hard.
I called Paije Alexandra West over and I was like, I can feel myself pushing the medicine away. I. Like I am, I'm really, really resisting it. And I didn't know why. I just was okay. And, you know, Paije Alexandra West said, well, you know, just talk to the medicine. Um, tell it to come to you, you know? And I did. And I said, look like Iboga, hi, I'm sorry that I'm pushing you away.
I love you. Don't take it personally. Um, I want you to be here, you know? You can, you can come and like as I'm talking to Iboga, obviously I'm also talking to myself and trying to convince myself that it's okay for the medicine to come on and to be with me. And so all of a sudden the medicine started to come [00:33:00] on very, very strongly.
And what I experienced as the medicine was coming on was a very, uh, physical purge. I would say. Like I said, I did not get nauseous. I did not puke at all during this retreat, but my, it started with my right arm shaking, my right arm started trembling, and this has happened to me. In Ayahuasca five M-E-O-D-M-T, like this was nothing new to me.
I was okay with it. I didn't have trouble resisting that. Purge. The right arm turned into the left arm, and then that turned into my entire torso, and then my head started shaking as well. I. And then next thing I know is that like literally my full body is starting to shake. And throughout all of this, you know, I'm cool with it.
I'm okay. I know what's going on. I know it's an energetic purge. The medicine's coming on. It's okay. However, there was a head shaking motion that was new to me. Like my head was kind of shaking [00:34:00] Yes, no, and I just had no control over it. And actually the medic came up to me and she was like, are you okay?
Like, are you good? And I was like, yeah, I'm good. This is just part of my process that I so appreciated her coming up to me to check on me. And so that went on for quite a long time. I don't know how long it was in human terms, but I do remember that at one point while I was shaking, there was a voice in my head that said a few things.
And when I say there was a voice in my head, I mean that. It wasn't me consciously thinking thoughts. It was literally a voice in my head that I could hear. And I do think that was the voice of Iboga. One of the first things that I heard in my head was, I want to scream. And I even opened my mouth up at that point, and I wasn't like gonna force a scream and nothing came out.
And I wasn't just gonna like scream in order to force a scream. It didn't [00:35:00] happen, but my mouth did open. And, you know, some time passed and eventually I did let out three piercing howles screams. Um, they felt I. Scary in a way. Like iboga is not scary. It's challenging, but they felt like frightened.
They felt like frightened screams. It was one and then the next, and then the third. And so I thought that was really interesting that like there was this energetic process happening and this like I need to scream. And then, you know, sometime quite later the screams came. Another thing that happened that,, was really beautiful as the medicine was coming on.
Again, I heard that voice. That was not my voice, but it was a voice in my head that said, I'm freeing myself and. As it happened, [00:36:00] I didn't really think too much of it, but after the ceremony, that was one of the first things that I thought of was, I'm freeing myself and. I really wanna honor that because I really do feel like I am freeing myself.
And, you know, the piece of the puzzle that I got in the ceremony was a massive part of me freeing myself from so much, you know, from my own fears to start with, but also from, uh, parts of myself that I've disowned and abandoned and been unwilling to, uh, share and express and be with and hold and love.
But I thought that was really beautiful. And so I was really in my process during this time. The medicine was coming on quite strongly. I was definitely getting some visuals, but the visuals were not really the main thing. In fact, I don't even really recall any of the visuals except for one,, that ceremony.
[00:37:00] And so what I was feeling at this time was that a sledgehammer was being taken to my brain and. Smashing my brain open. I felt like I was being torn down and just absolutely demolished and made weak and vulnerable by the medicine so that it could do the work on me that it needed to do. And reflecting back on that, I do believe that I had to.
Experience the medicine that intensely because it took me into a corner of my mind that I have been avoiding and so afraid of and terrified of looking at. For so, so long that it literally took a fucking showdown. Like it felt like a showdown, like a fucking boxing match where I wasn't even trying, like I was just getting beat up essentially by iboga.
Like I felt like I was in a boxing ring with Iboga and I was just in the [00:38:00] corner exhausted, and Iboga was just pounding me and punching me, and I was just there taking it. 'cause I was like, I can't, there's nothing else that I can do. And so
eventually that physicality started to calm down and things started to settle, so my body stopped shaking. I. You know, it stopped feeling like I was being torn apart and broken. And after everything settled, there was a period of maybe one minute in human time where Iboga just took me right where I needed to go.
I'm not gonna share the details. I'll give you guys a very,, high level account of what that looked like. But essentially the medicine showed me a vision. And when I saw that vision, I asked two questions to the medicine. [00:39:00] And the way that I was experiencing Iboga at this time and the way that I have experienced it in the past is,, basically a clear direct line to truth or a clear dialect rec line to intuition.
It's a state of being with the medicine where. You can ask a question and you will get a very simple, true answer. In other words, it's a state of being in the medicine where you cannot escape yourself. You cannot escape your truth. You are literally forced to look into the mirror and face yourself. And so when Iboga showed me this vision, I asked one question and then I asked another.
And the answer that I got was so hard for me, and it was so challenging for me. And then I started fighting with the medicine. I said, [00:40:00] no, that can't be true. And it said, yes, it is. This is you. This is who you are. Um, and I had this period of time where I was fighting with it. I was like, no. And it was like, yes.
And I was like, no. And it was like, yes. And I was really having a hard time. And so I called Paije Alexandra West over and I told her I'm really struggling. I'm really having a hard time. It's telling me something that's really hard, and she was so beautiful and how she was able to help me and I had to ask her to literally hold my hand.
Um, it was really hard for me to see this truth about myself. And in some ways, you know, three weeks later it's still really hard and I'm still struggling with it. And this is what we call integration. But you know, iboga in that moment took me into my deepest, darkest shadow into the door in my mind that I have been, you know, I kind of knew it [00:41:00] was there and I kind of thought I could get by my entire life without opening it, without addressing it, without looking in it.
And.
What Paije Alexandra West was, she was kind of working, helping me work through the challenge in different ways. And at one point I just did not feel safe in my body. I didn't feel safe where I was. I was in absolute shock. I. With what was happening in that moment. And you know, she called Violet over and they took me through like some breathing and grounding exercises and I was like, I'm so sorry, but like I, I just, I keep going into my head.
I couldn't even stay in my body. I couldn't even, um. Focus on my breathing because the shock of it was just so tremendous to me that I just kept going back into my head. And so this was probably not even halfway through the ceremony. I really, really, really struggled. [00:42:00] Um, and basically for the rest of the ceremony, like, so I had like a period of time where I was kind of fighting with the medicine and trying to like be like, what really?
And then I. Eventually, um, the, it was really cool how I experienced the medicine and I'm so curious as to what my dose was because, um, it was a very, very strong connection to truth that I had, to the point where every time the iboga would say something, I could feel it as if it were a technology in my left temple.
, every time I would ask the iboga a question, , it would have an answer and I could feel it in my temple and out of my temple. The answer would actually fly out of my temple in like a written text. Like I would like see, like, yes as like a written piece of text flying from my temple.
[00:43:00] Outwards and down on the left side of my head, really interesting. And you know, every time I wanted to reconnect with Iboga, I would just say like, iboga, iboga, iboga. And I could actually sense and feel when it came back. So it was like this interesting feeling of when I was with it, it was with me, but when I wasn't with it, it wasn't with me and I would actually have to call it back.
So, really fascinating. And at one point it was as if the Iboga was like, my work here is done. At least it was done in that way of communicating with me through a question and answer. Um, and I remember at one point I was like, iboga, iboga, iboga. And it just, it was gone. It was gone. I, it was gone. I, every time I asked a question, there wasn't a clear answer.
And to me that was this sign of, this is all [00:44:00] you needed today. This is it. There's nothing more. This is the work that you came here to do. It was to get the answer to one question and. I started to sit with that and be with that, and I realized how many of my questions were answered because of this one answer, and I started to realize, you know, why some things in my life have been complicated and why some things in my life have not fully made sense.
You know, this was a big piece of the puzzle. I see the healing journey as a journey of collecting different puzzle pieces over time. Putting them together, trying to see the bigger picture. This was like, this was a big puzzle piece. You know, this was a big missing puzzle piece that really helped me to complete the whole picture.
It was a big [00:45:00] one, and I really do see that all of the work that I've done up until this one ceremony with ayahuasca, with mushrooms, with five MEO, even with my first Iboga ceremony, it was all leading to this. It was all leading to me, facing myself in this way and facing this truth within myself in this way.
And what else was fascinating was that there was visions. From my first retreat at Iboga Wellness Center. That didn't make a lot of sense, that now make a lot of sense. Iboga is a master plant in terms of the ways that it works with you. And I learned that, you know, I am Iboga. Iboga is me. I am Iboga.
That was so freaking clear to me this time. . Who I am talking to is myself, and there's no difference between me and [00:46:00] Iboga. And I think the depth of that is something that I am only starting to glimpse the surface of. But that came through really strongly for me. In the ceremony and you know, at one point I think it was very clear to the facilitators that I was probably struggling, , Ixchel, who is, , the co-facilitator and the other Bwiti initiate and Iboga provider.
Working with Paije Alexandra West. , she came up to me and she was like, well, if you don't like where you are right now, you can just ask the Iboga to take you somewhere else. You know, why don't you ask it to clean your mind for you? And I was like, okay, I'm gonna ask it to clean my mind for me. And. Because Iboga iss mind medicine, right?
Like one of the main, um, things that it does is that it cleans and cleanses the mind and it kind of takes the trash out. And I was like, iboga cleaned my mind. And it was like, okay, but there's not much here to clean. Like, I could see that it was like, it was doing like a [00:47:00] sweep of my mind. I could see it and it was like all done.
And it was just like, there's really, there's not that much here. I think that's probably because I got a really, good purge. During that first retreat that I did two and a half years ago. But yeah, it was just a ceremony of really sitting with myself. It was the hardest fucking thing ever. I was so grateful when the sun finally came up like I was saying, they do a beautiful job of merging the West with the tradition. And one of the little treats that they gave us at the end of the ceremony when the sun was coming up was they played a few songs that were Western songs, and the first one was. An African song, but it had guitar and singing in it.
And I was just like, wait a second. There's no guitars in Bwiti music. And I was so confused. And then I realized with the second, third, fourth song and so on, that they were playing some western music for us. And you know, Paije Alexandra [00:48:00] West said at the end that this was just like a nice way to say like, congratulations, you did it.
Like I said, Bwiti music is really hard for most people to stomach, so. It was a really lovely touch, but the thing that just blew my heart apart and my mind apart was that one of the songs that they played was a song that I have not heard in probably a decade. And it was a song that was sent to me by someone who was very important to me in my life for a long time, and who I had a tragic, ending with.
And. Everything that I was dealing with during the ceremony brought me back to this person and the song that they played was a song that this person sent me. In that moment, everything just felt absolutely magical. It felt absolutely sacred, and I just could not [00:49:00] believe it.
And just with that song being played, more things started to come together for me. So it was a very, very, very special moment. And basically when the sun came up, you know, people started slowly rising. I was feeling so much. Fear and most importantly, so much shame was coming up for me. I was having a really hard time just dealing with the contents of my ceremony, and so Ixchel came up to me and offered to help me.
Find a spot to recover and I, I, I just wanted to be away from the ceremony space, honestly. And I was, I let her know that, you know, I, I was crying at this point and I said, you know, there's a lot of shame here. And what she said to me was so perfect . She said, [00:50:00] yeah, that's okay. You, you have to love all of you.
And that's something that I've really taken with me into integration because despite the shame, despite this truth, despite this, you know, perceived darkness inside of me, I. My job and my integration and my work is to find love for myself and to love myself and accept myself for who I am. Because I am who I am.
I was made the way that I was made. And. There's no use fighting myself. One of the things that Paije Alexandra West said at our first fire talk that really, really stuck with me was, it's you, with you, or it's you against you. That's life. I could see in the ceremony all of the ways that, you know, suppressing this part of me has.
Made me fight against [00:51:00] myself and has pinned me against myself. Even in the ceremony when I was like, no. And it was like, yes, and I was like, no. And the medicine was like, yes. You know, I could see how I've been fighting myself so much my whole life, and so. I was tender, I was raw, I was challenged, and honestly, I was in disbelief, like I was just like, what the fuck is actually happening?
And that recovery day was a huge day for me. It was a huge day for me. I. I processed so much. You know, I don't think I, I don't think I, I, uh, came to for a solid more than 48 hours. Um, more on that in a second. But, you know, during that day, as I was really confronting myself, I could start putting so many things together. A lot of stuff started making sense. I was having a [00:52:00] hard time, but at the same time, I was so grateful to, understand myself at such a deeper level. And I can't believe I'm crying so much and so emotional. Maybe I wasn't ready to record this episode today.
It's okay. You guys, you guys get what you get with me. It's the real deal. Um, you know, as challenging as it was to confront myself in that way, there was this deeper truth and this deeper knowing that. You know, to know thyself in this life is the most important thing because those of us who are walking around not knowing ourselves, not knowing our truth, and not living our truth, we are going to cause so much pain and suffering for not just ourselves, but for other people, because ultimately, we're in a state of fighting ourselves and fighting our truth.
And what that leads to is outsourcing our power, looking outside of ourselves, and also to relationships with other [00:53:00] people that are based on not truth. They're based on trying to be someone that we're not, and that doesn't do anyone a service. So as hard as this day was for me, there was also a real sense of like, holy fuck, I finally got to the bottom.
I finally got to the root of myself, and I have so much to say about that. And I've been sharing a lot on social media about just the healing journey in general. But I remember going to my first Ayahuasca ceremony almost six years ago, and I truly was terrified thinking that. I was gonna get to the root and you know, see that core memory or find out that thing about myself that's causing all my problems and all my suffering.
And I fully expected that to happen in the first Ayahuasca ceremony. And I was so deeply humbled over these six years, but even more so during this one ceremony when I came to realize [00:54:00] that. It's such a process to be ready to see yourself truly, and to be able to see your trauma and to be able to see
the things that have happened in your life and the things about yourself that you do not accept. It takes so much nervous system regulation. It takes so much spiritual stamina and it takes so much safety in the psyche to be able to open these doors that we have kept locked tight. Whether that's an aspect of ourself that we have been suppressing and not seeing, and not accepting, or whether it's a trauma or an event.
You know, for me this was a mixture of both. There was. Events and relationships, but it was all centered around and rooted around this aspect of myself, and so it just takes a lot of work to be able to get to the root because. The psyche [00:55:00] does such a good job of keeping the doors that were not ready to open shut.
And I really wanna commend myself for of course my journey and my resilience and me constantly choosing myself. But also, I did so much prep work with my therapist and. I really started to prepare my psyche and to prepare myself to face myself and confront myself in this way, and so I'm really proud of myself for that and for anyone who's out there listening, you know, I just wanna tell you to trust your journey and to trust your path and to not give up on yourself.
And that every part of the journey is an important part of the journey and that it's all leading you where you need to go and truly plant medicine, iboga, ayahuasca, mushrooms, they only will show you what you're ready to see at that time. And I can see that so clearly now that each step along the journey [00:56:00] was a step that I was ready for and a step that I was willing to take.
So, so much of this work truly happens outside of ceremony where we're building up our emotional resilience, where we're working on our psyche, where we're learning to love and accept ourselves so that we feel safe to explore ourselves in ways that are very deep and very real. Because you are not gonna look at yourself in a way that you're not ready to look at yourself.
Even with a Titan Master plan like Iboga, it's only gonna show you what you are ready for. And that's why I'm so deeply passionate about, of course, integration, but also preparation. I can really see how with Iboga doing that prep work ahead of time, whether that's. 40 ayahuasca ceremonies or a five MEO retreat or therapy or , you know, reflection and coaching.
It really plays such a massive role. I don't think I've ever [00:57:00] prepared for a retreat more thoroughly than I did for this one. And it's so funny 'cause I was being so hard on myself. 'cause I was like, well, I'm watching YouTube and I'm, you know, I'm on my phone and all this stuff, and. Like, yeah, that stuff isn't great before a ceremony.
But what was most important was for me to do that psychological prep and that emotional safety prep for me to be able to feel truly safe in myself to confront myself in this way. So all of that being said, this is why I am just. So in love with this medicine, I'm humbled by this medicine. You know, this was very confirming for me that iboga is 100% my medicine.
I think as psychonauts, we often want to figure out what medicine we resonate with, which ones we don't like. What is our medicine? I can without a doubt say that, you know, iboga saved me. I saved me. And [00:58:00] it has given me so much, and it's been a long journey, and it's gonna continue being such a long journey, like Iboga is such a long ride, right?
Remember what I said at the beginning, you're entering into a relationship with the spirit of Iboga, , but also you're entering a relationship with truth, truth in yourself. And I'm just so grateful and. You know, these early days of integration have been challenging and hard.
Today's the first day that I like, you know. Put some makeup on and put some clothes on and decided to sit down and share. Um, I've really been keeping to myself, I've been watching slow travel YouTube vlogs that really regulate my nervous system. I've been taking it so easy, and the intensity and the shock has definitely calmed down.
I've only shared about my experience with one other person so far, which. It's so crazy. Like, I'm [00:59:00] so, like, who is she? She's so mature now. Whereas like, you know, the last time I did Iboga, like came like home straight from the airport and recorded a podcast where I shared every detail. You know, I'm really growing and maturing, I must say.
Um, but I'm just like really taking my time with how I share, with who I share and using discernment in my integration journey. In this. Recognition that Iboga is my medicine. I've decided that the people I want to work with in the world are people who are working with Iboga.
And before I left for Mexico, I was working on my newest coaching offering, which is going to be a psychedelic prep and integration program. And during the retreat, it became very clear to me that. I wanted to niche down completely to create an iboga specific coaching program, a prep and integration program.
I'm currently working on it. It's gonna be the world's most [01:00:00] comprehensive prep and integration coaching program for people who are doing psychospiritual work with Iboga, and it's an offering that feels so deeply aligned with. My path with what I believe to be the most sacred and powerful plant in the world, and requires great support before and after.
From experiencing that myself, you know, the level of support and prep that I did this time compared to last time was, tremendously different. I got so much out of my experience at Iboga Wellness and the medicine blessed me. And gave me a beautiful experience and a homecoming to myself.
But this was like, this was really the ceremony, right? And so I'm gonna be sharing another episode probably in. Five or six months to give you guys an integration update. But I'm really focusing right now on taking it so slow, as they say in Bwiti, "Malembe, Malembe",, which means slow, [01:01:00] slow. Just really learning that the way of the woman warrior is slow, gentle, soft, just really focusing on what's in alignment for me.
And preparing for a nomadic chapter . You know, they say that Iboga is an incredibly practical medicine. It definitely is just so practical. It'll really start chipping away everything in your life that is not in alignment and start leading you down the right path for yourself.
And what's been landing for me is that I desire to be nomadic and to be a slow traveler for. The next year or two. And so I'm taking those baby steps, paying off a big chunk of my student loan. You know, I just did that yesterday. I took thousands of dollars out of my savings account and paid off my student loan.
'cause I don't wanna be paying off my student loan while I'm traveling the world. And so it's these baby steps. The best integration advice that, , Paije Alexandra West and Fletcher gave us [01:02:00] was, all you have to do is take the next right step. So Basse to that. And I feel like I just got on a huge tangent. , but I was really just speaking from the heart.
Like I said, I didn't have a plan for this episode but just to kind of wrap up here and let you guys know how the rest of the retreat went, um, the recovery day, like I said, it was really challenging for me. Violet was. A lifeline like Violet, thank you so much for your service and for your selflessness in guiding me and helping me through like honestly the hardest fucking day of my life.
I was really, really struggling and it was just. Uh, so comforting to have you there. And, you know, she had me do a couple of exercises that were really helpful in grounding. But that recovery day and the days that followed, I basically journaled more [01:03:00] than I've ever journaled. I actually filled out the entire notebook that they gave us, uh, because everything was just coming together.
So beautifully for me. Um, it didn't feel beautiful at the time. It was really hard, but the team was just so supportive. Oh yeah, I told you guys I had a funny moment with Fletcher. So on the recovery day I was like, really still in the medicine? And like Fletcher came over to me to talk and I was like, still, hi, on Ibiga.
And as he was walking I was like, you're a cool, great guy. And we laugh about it so much right now, but like, honestly. Fletcher man, shout out. Truly like the men of this retreat, like especially Fletcher and Paul, you guys were such an important part of my process in so many ways, but mostly in showing me what a safe man looks and feels [01:04:00] like and what it feels for me and my nervous system to be around a safe man like Fletcher watching him.
Allow his wife to shine and allow her to lead. And you know, even with the words I'm choosing there allow, it's like. It gives the impression that she needs his permission or anything, which is just so not accurate. But you know, a lot of the modeling that I've seen between male and female dynamics in my life is like the man is in charge and like the man says what to do and like, you know that very alpha male.
Eastern European type of dynamic between a man and a woman. And just seeing the dynamic between Paije Alexandra West and Fletcher and how it was so beautifully equal and how they just allow each other to shine in their gifts and how they support each other so deeply and how much they love each other, like just their love was so inspiring for [01:05:00] me.
Um, to see and to be a part of, especially as I was navigating these very root chakra sacral chakra relationship dynamics within myself. And yeah, Fletcher is honestly the coolest, greatest guy ever. I just think it's so funny that I was like, hi as fuck on Iboga, and that, that's what came out of my mouth to tell Fletcher.
Uh, but honestly, their team, you guys like, wow, wow, wow, wow. It felt so organic like. They're all friends. You know, when they were kind of like off duty, you know, you're never off duty. But during the downtimes, like they were all hanging out and we could hear them like laughing and having fun and it was just such a joy to be around them.
And yet they were so incredibly professional, always knew the right thing to say, and there was such an amazing diversity of people that, you [01:06:00] know, at one point it was like. I need to connect with Violet and be in Violet's medicine. And at other points it was like, I need to be with Ixchel and I need to feel her medicine, or I need to feel Fletcher's medicine, or I need to feel Paije Alexandra West's medicine.
They all had just something so valuable and different to offer to the process, and obviously they're so well-versed in medicine work and their devotion and love for Iboga and Bwiti is something that. I really love to be around because I love Iboga and Bwiti. So much and I definitely see her more of it in my future.
I'm not gonna lie, Africa is definitely calling me a little bit, although I think I still am too much of a whiny little baby to be able to go through something like an initiation. So Mae Mae, slow, slow. But for now, my offering to the world and to Iboga is going to be through my Iboga Prep and integration program, which.
If you're listening and [01:07:00] you're getting ready to do Iboga or you're on the other side of it, I would absolutely love to support you through that. I'm not lying when I say that it's the world's most comprehensive iboga prep and integration program. It's really a summation of everything I've learned from all the books that I've read on Iboga from obviously my own personal experience sitting with the medicine and from being a helper at Iboga Wellness Center. , but also the world's leaders and experts that I've had the privilege of interviewing and talking to. You know, it really is a program that is going to support anyone working with Iboga so, so deeply, and this is the work I wanna be doing. This is the work I want to be ushering people into and supporting people through.
So I'll leave information down below on that. It's basically a. Program where there's modules and lessons for both the prep and integration process, highlighting things that are very [01:08:00] specific to iboga, because working with IBOGA is very different than working with LSD or Ayahuasca or mushrooms or five MEO.
It's a very specific process. So there's gonna be a lot of modules and videos on the specifics of. Prep and integration, helping you form your questions, like what you need to do to create psychological safety. , it's gonna be very thorough. And of course there's coaching calls with me included in it. So prep and integration coaching. And then also I have a bonus little. On the ground call called the in it call, where if you wanna connect during your retreat, like in between the two ceremonies, we have a call together to maybe go over your questions for iboga or just to check in.
So. Yeah, I'm so excited about this. It definitely feels like the next right step for me as a coach and as someone in the psychedelic space, I'm really just focusing in on the medicine that I love and that has given me the most and that I resonate [01:09:00] with the most. So leave that all for you down there. I'm enrolling for that program now, so check that out.
And you know, in terms of the rest of the retreat, I actually didn't sleep for. Two full nights. So we did medicine on Wednesday night. I didn't sleep until Friday. So Thursday night, the night after recovery, like I was still in shock. I was processing so much, I was having a hard time coming to terms with myself and I was starting to future project and I was starting to create meaning, and I caught myself in that.
Only the next day, but basically Thursday night I laid in bed and I think I maybe fell asleep for like a couple of cat naps, but I did not get a full sleep until the Friday night. So I really got the full Iboga experience. At every Iboga retreat, there's probably gonna be one or two people from ceremony that don't sleep on, not just the first night through ceremony, but also the second night after recovery day,
you know what [01:10:00] happens? It just happened to have been me that time and you know, I really got the full experience. But as soon as I got that sleep, I felt so much better. I remember Ixchel came into the room and she was like, oh wow, you're doing your hair and you put clothes on. Just 'cause I was really a shell of a human for that recovery day and that integration day, I had a really hard time.
But getting a good sleep, getting some sunlight, chef Paul's food, and of course, just like being around the other guests and their beautiful energy gave me strength and stamina. And so after the retreat, I took a couple of days off and I stayed at an Airbnb, uh, close by where I just integrated and relaxed I definitely recommend booking a few days after. Uh, if you can to just integrate, or even if you go home, just like really setting aside some time for integration, [01:11:00] because let me tell you, obviously.
I was knocked off of my feet. , and even after I got home, I took like a whole week or two, like I feel like I'm only just now three weeks later, like really getting back into the swing of things where I'm like catching up on work and also doing more than just the minimum. So those are my words for you.
I know that this is just the beginning of the rest of all of our lives, and I really cannot thank Paije Alexandra West and the team enough for seeing the value that I provide at modern psychedelics and being willing to do this exchange .
I know that. There's just so many, you know, costs and expenses and it's, it's not easy to offer a guest spot to someone where they're not paying out of pocket. So I just wanna say thank you so much for seeing the value [01:12:00] in my work, and it's just the biggest honor and so aligned to be working with you guys in this way.
If any of you are interested in learning more about Etéreo, you know, they only offer for. Iboga retreats per year. That's their very like special offering that they have. Their next one is in June, and then I believe they have one in November of this year. But you know, they also do other medicine work.
I cannot recommend Paije Alexandra West and Fletcher as facilitators more. They are just. The perfect balance of yin and yang, masculine and feminine. And they also serve Huachuma. So Fletcher is actually initiated into a, tradition that carries the Huachuma medicine, which by the way, I'm super interested in sitting with him for, I think I'm definitely gonna make it happen when I feel ready for more medicine work.
I feel like Huachuma is gonna be the perfect [01:13:00] like. The perfect palate cleanser after, this retreat, but definitely not in a rush. I'm definitely staying sober for a while, which by the way, I've been sober from cannabis for like two months now. And I'm not gonna be altering my consciousness anytime soon 'cause I just need to chill.
But Fletcher is initiated into the Huachuma tradition and they also serve five M-E-O-D-M-T and Bufo., and I think they do mushrooms as well. So if you wanna go visit them in Baja, I think they also do, experiences like in California when they visit. Cannot recommend them enough. Beautiful. Very well versed.
You know, they both have their own stories. Fletcher overcoming, addiction and dependency and you know, Paije Alexandra West supporting him through that and overcoming her own stuff. You know, she's been to Africa. She's going to Africa again to get initiated into another. Uh, branch of Bwiti called the Fang, and they're just powerhouses beautiful [01:14:00] humans.
They just really put you at ease because they're just, they're just fucking normal, relatable humans. You know, they're not wearing the costume, and I mean that figuratively and literally, you know, they're like super cool. They're like. When it comes to personal style, these two just have it going on, and I really appreciate that because just because we're spiritual and conscious and serving plant medicine doesn't mean that we can't enjoy these human pleasures and these human things like.
Clothing and style and you know, dinners out with friends and raving. I just, I really love them. I really vibe with them. I feel so incredibly confident sending anyone who happens to be listening to this podcast to work with them, whether it's for their beautiful Iboga offering, or whether you wanna do something like Huachuma or five MEO or mushrooms with them as a pretox.
To working up to Iboga, which by the way, pretox [01:15:00] I learned as a term from them as a ceremonial experience or a medicine experience that you have before. Um, the, the big one, like something that I pre-toxed for iboga with was my low dose five MEO experience. So. Thank you so much at, Etéreo love you guys.
I'm just, I'm so excited to be working together. And just so grateful to everyone listening for your curiosity. Again, remember that this was my experience and that your experience is gonna be uniquely yours. And if you are looking for any Iboga provider, and you know, maybe it's not Paije Alexandra West and Fletcher.
And maybe you are looking for one, just, you know, be really, really careful out there. There's a lot of shady, scary, unsafe, unethical players in the iboga space, um, which is kind of ironic and weird because of the nature of iboga. But thank you so much for listening. I hope that [01:16:00] you enjoy this episode. If you have any reflections for me, I love to hear from you on Instagram or over email.
And if you enjoy this episode and you haven't yet rated the Modern Psychedelics Podcast on Apple, I would love it if you would leave a five star rating and review, or if you listen on Spotify, all you have to do is scroll up to the top of the modern psychedelics page. Click those three dots on the right hand side and click rate show.
And if you could give me a five star rating. It helps so much more than you will ever know to get the show in the charts and to help other people discover it. So until next time, Basse, my friends, sending you lots of love. And may you discover and live your truth in this life. I.
