073 | My First Psychedelic Ego Death: Embracing The Inner Darkness
“We are so infinitely deep as human beings, and the deeper you go, the deeper you go, The inner darkness is a beautiful part of me and there’s nothing to fear about exploring it. ”
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Who knew that connection to music could get you to the point of having a psychedelic ego death and integrating your inner darkness? Or that a psychedelic experience at a music festival could help you understand the unintegrated darkness within humanity?
Today I am sharing the story of my very first psychedelic ego death, which lead to profound insights and new understanding of my own human depth. I touch on the mind & spiritual prep I did, setting, what I gained from the experience, and my integration process.
“I don't think that denying our inner savagery is the answer because it is a part of us. We are holographic human beings who contain everything within us. It's about the expression of it and the integration of it.”
- Lana PribicIn this episode, I talk about:
There are no boundaries around how a meaningful psychedelic experience can happen
How I prepared my mindset and intentions for this experience
Losing myself in music & becoming music
Being the awareness that is simply observing
Falling in love with the darkness and my inner darkness
Integrating the inner darkness and “savage beast” within
The journey to wholeness includes integrating the darkness
Understanding the horrific integration of darkness within humanity
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LISTEN
“I have this primal instinct that has awakened. The savage beast within me. What this part of me has to teach me is deeper acceptance of the savagery within me. Which allows me to understand the savagery within humanity.”
Things Mentioned In This Episode:
Where to find Lana:
I was introduced to psychedelics in my early 20s within rave culture, and few years later I began to use plant medicine ceremonially.
Many circumstances aligned leaving me shattered, and I began the journey of putting myself back together. Plant medicine & psychedelics saved me from depression, anxiety, and a life of feeling unworthy. This is now my life’s work and I have devoted myself to sharing psychedelics and plant medicines with others because I have personally experienced how effectively they can catalyze growth, healing and connection.
This idea for Modern Psychedelics came to me during a journaling session in early 2020. I was learning so much about psychedelics at the time (while experiencing the benefits firsthand), and I had a deep desire to talk about these topics with people in the field. Upon launching the Instagram community, the page grew tremendously over a short period of time and continues to have high levels of engagement.
I am a 3x certified professional life coach, and I work with people who want to better their lives by deeply integrating insights from their psychedelic experiences. I believe that we don’t have to spend our entire lives healing, and that the purpose of life is to live in the present moment.
Looking for a professional coach to support you on your psychedelic path?
Look no further! Along with being the host of the Modern Psychedelics Podcast, Lana is a 3x certified professional coach who works with people on the psychedelic path.
Podcast Transcipt
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Lana Pribic: Hello and welcome back. Today we are doing a solo episode. I haven't done one of these in quite a while, especially one where I'm sharing a trip report. So I'm really looking forward to this. I know that a lot of you really like these episodes. So let's get into it. If you're watching on YouTube, welcome to my couch set up where I have my little at home studio set up.
In this episode, I'm going to be sharing about my very first psychedelic assisted ego death and what I learned. And wow, I can't even believe that I'm recording this and sharing the story because this experience was completely unexpected.
I was not seeking it out and I think that this story is going to be very paradigm shifting for many people I always imagine that ego deaths only happen when you're intentionally seeking it out. And like I said, I wasn't seeking it out and yet everything somehow aligned to make it happen. [00:01:00] Also, I was horrified of ego deaths before, which is probably why I never sought them out.
But I learned throughout this experience that it was actually really beautiful and I learned so much and that there's actually nothing to be afraid of. And also it's a little paradigm shifting because this. This story, this experience happened within a recreational container. It happened at a music festival not a ceremonial one, not a clinical one.
And yet I felt safe and held and had a very positive experience. Those are all the ways that I think that sharing the story is going to be just very insightful and paradigm shifting for people listening. So looking back, it definitely happened in the most perfect way and it makes so much sense that my first loss of ego, loss of who I am, Lana Pribic, just happened in this way.
And I want to tell you guys the whole story of how it fits together because as you guys know. Engaging with psychedelics is not just about the substance. It's truly [00:02:00] about set, setting, preparation, integration, intentionality. And this story hits on all of those points. So this is my psychedelic love story.
I fell in love with a very unexpected, very hidden, shoved down part of myself through this. And You guys have heard me talk before about how meaningful psychedelic experiences do not have boundaries around them. They can happen anywhere in ceremony, in clinical settings, alone, in groups, and apparently at music festivals as well.
So as long as we are safe, informed, intentional, smart, educated, All of these settings are valid. Some may have more risks associated with them and require more self responsibility. But there are always precautions that we can take to manage risks, and that's why we have important conversations about psychoeducation and harm reduction.
So however we choose to experience psychedelics, it's our [00:03:00] responsibility to be safe, informed, intentional, and smart. So I already felt this way, but now I feel it even more after this powerful experience. And this experience in a recreational setting was honestly, you guys, It was the most spiritual experience of my life.
I have gone pretty deep with Iboga. I have gone pretty deep with Shipibo Ayahuasca. This was something else. It's hard to compare them, but I see it as the most spiritual experience that I've had because it was the first time that I truly experienced a loss of who I am. So I just want to put a little disclaimer out there about substances. I'm not going to be going into the details of what substances I was taking, what psychedelics I was on.
I'll just say that it was a, a good old festival cocktail that I have done all of my research to check interactions between substances I plan to be consuming. And as always, my engagement was safe, intentional. [00:04:00] informed, which is what I always encourage and I actually don't think that the substances are very important as the story itself and the experience itself.
So yeah, I'm not going to be getting into the details. I will mention one of the substances that I was working with at the time, which was DM Team. In the form of a vape pen. Now, this is a very like low dose experience of DMT. It's not at all a breakthrough experience. It's very low.
It's very chill, but I do think that it greatly impacted my experience here. I was taking small doses sporadically throughout the night that I'm going to be talking about in the evening. It wasn't a breakthrough, but I do think that it was a major player in facilitating this experience.
And obviously the story is being shared for entertainment purposes only, not to endorse or promote any type of experience that I'm explaining here. So yeah, let's get into it. So I attended a music festival called [00:05:00] Harvest about a month ago in September and it was my first time being back there in four years.
This was a very special moment for me. My psychedelic roots are at Harvest. I had my first experience with LSD here. I did mushrooms for the first time and, experienced a greater connectedness to the universe here. I quit smoking cigarettes here. I had just very special experiences here that kind of shaped me,
And it was it's home and I missed it very much and I wasn't sure if it would feel like home anymore because I've changed a lot since the last time I was there. And as soon as I got there, I just, I felt like I was home and it was incredible. So before I even went to Harvest, I really reflected on what I wanted to get out of this festival experience.
So this is that piece of intentionality. I had three points here, so I wanted to use it as an opportunity to reflect on just my growth, how far I've come in the four years since [00:06:00] I've been at Harvest. And those four years really were my healing chapter, my healing journey. And I decided to reflect in a really unexpected way.
I was just going to let myself be who I am today and just allow myself to be the today version of me. And number two was to rediscover and connect with everything about this festival that was meaningful to me. So I used to share this space with an ex. It was one of our things. And I really wanted to reconnect with it and remember all the things that made it special for me.
And things that were always my own and always between me and myself. So I wanted to, yeah, just reconnect with that. And then, I wanted to do me. I made this promise to myself that I would do what I wanted. I wouldn't depend on anyone to, make the experience for me to make me happy. That I would only go to places and go to the stages or [00:07:00] do the things that I wanted to do.
And I invited my friends, Ryan and Carolina. To attend with me for the first time we got tickets together We were camping together and I let them know this beforehand which they were cool with because they're just great and you know Highly conscious and very independent, so they were totally okay with me doing that So I camped with a huge group of amazing, psychonauts and music lovers and I had been building this beautiful friendship with Carolina and Ryan throughout the summer, which is, which actually played a huge role in the way that my experience unfolded.
They actually hold space for people to do ceremonies. So yeah, I was really excited to share harvest with them. So I'm going to fast forward to the second evening cause this is when the, when it happened. There's this stage at Harvest called the Pyramid and yeah, it looks like a pyramid.
It's yellow, shaped like a pyramid. And when you walk inside, there's just this like really raw, [00:08:00] primal, elemental energy in there. The Pyramid is like... It's my home. It's my original altar. There's this rock in the middle of the stage, like this just massive rock that they built the stage around. And there's something about it that, it just holds a lot of energy.
And there's always bass music playing in there. And they have this incredible sound system called 40 Hertz there. And they play drum and bass and dubstep and just, grime, things like that. That has always really spoken to me and this is the place where I discovered that kind of music.
But I, I never really understood what this music was. expressing to me, and I'm sharing this with you because this is, again, a huge piece of my ego death experience. It was this music But yeah, I feel like I'm like this pyramid zombie it's only open on the [00:09:00] Saturday night and every time I've attended Harvest in the past I've had to be there almost the entire night.
It's just been a very primal and unexplainable experience for me. And before I started working with plant medicine, this was, like I said, the original altar, the original place where I felt some sort of Really intense spiritual energy. So I knew that Saturday night was going to be really special for me because I would get to reconnect with this special place.
So yeah, Saturday, everyone was like at camp or at the circus. And I was like, you know what, I'm just going to go do my thing. I got ready for the night. I put on this outfit that I actually sewed and created. I called it like my base Ninja outfit. It's this like hooded scarf thing and it's just fucking awesome.
And I felt so. Epic, innit? Put on my outfit. I Actually went to a sacred altar that my friend Nadia created and I there was a mirror And I just checked [00:10:00] in with myself and was just like looking at myself and, appreciating myself and just, yeah, I had to like reconnect with myself after all the craziness of sharing a festival space with thousands of other people.
, so before the, night festivities began, I, this is really corny, but also, I loved it, I went into the pyramid alone.
There was no one in there and I actually brought a flower to it and just reconnected with it and just touched the stone and just felt all the inexplainable energy in there and just had this like moment with myself to pray and set intentions and just focus in on, yeah, what I'm creating in my life.
And yeah, it was very special. And then, yeah, I the, we got into the evening, the stage opened and I took my evening dosage. I went about my night. I, was bopping in and out of the pyramid, but I was taking it really slow. I had eaten some food. I was [00:11:00] like, And I was alone and I was cool with it.
I was okay with it. I, eventually ran into friends and was just having so much fun, connecting and dancing and making memories. And there was just like so much joy and laughter and gosh, this feeling of savoring every single moment. Harvest is so special. Gosh, you're just so damn present for every single moment and everyone is on that energy and there was just nowhere anyone else wanted to be.
So I went to go take a break at some point and there's all these amazing fires and it's September. And I was talking to this guy at the fire and we were having a conversation and it was literally, and people who go to music festivals, you'll know that this happens, it was literally the middle of our conversation and I interrupted him and I was like, I'm sorry, but I gotta go dance.
I gotta go dance. And I literally fucking grabbed [00:12:00] my stuff and ran to the pyramid. And man, I ran in there and the music was just like speaking to me so deeply. So like throughout the night, I'm really just following my energy. I'm being intentional. I'm being attuned to. Where my energy wants to go, and oh my god, I wanted to go to the music.
So I got there, my friend Robbie was there, and pretty much from that point on, we stayed in there without leaving for hours on end, except for the occasional break to get air and water, and gosh, so this is really where it began. I started entering the portal of the music. It was, it just kept getting better and better.
So there was this local Toronto artist and he was playing this really amazing dubstep set. And just for my music, people out there UK dubstep, like deep dubstep, the really slowed down deep intense. [00:13:00] Highly spiritual in my opinion stuff not the mainstream bro step skrillex II stuff Yeah, just want to help you guys understand like what the vibe was like But gosh, he just was like playing His set and it just kept getting better and when we thought it reached the peak it just got better and better again, and I was like connecting with the set in a way that I've never connected to a set before and Pretty much nothing existed other than the music.
And it got to a point where I just, I couldn't talk to anyone. Like it was just the music and me and my friend who were just like losing our minds.. And at one point I closed my eyes and I started just like entering this space of being lost in the music and Yeah, we thought this one set was like the best that it was going to get throughout the night and then this other again local Toronto DJ called Spine came on and he just took it to another level and I got like deeper and deeper, [00:14:00] deeper into the portal and I would close my eyes and I was aware that my body began to move in ways that it has never before.
move before and I was also aware that I had no control over my body. It was moving in ways that I didn't even know I could move. It was so on beat. It was so expressive of the music and the vibe of the music. It was like hitting every intricate detail in the music and then I started becoming the music.
So for those of you who don't listen to like bass music or particularly dubstep, it's like deep and dark. It's not necessarily like heavy and intense in the way that you would, think of that kind of heavy hitting [00:15:00] Skrillex y dubstep. It's heavy and intense in a more subtle, sexy kind of mysterious way.
And I was just like dripping with this like deep, dark energy and it was so primal. It was it felt like this like primal part of me was coming out. And it was in the pyramid where it is so primal, there's the rock, it's on grass and this music, the shape of the pyramid too, I think played a role in it.
But man, at one point I remember when I consciously realized how deep I was, I was dancing. Without even being able to control how I was moving, but , I was moving in like this really wicked beautiful way But I would open my eyes and I would look at I remember I looked at Robbie and I was like I'm getting lost in the music.
I'm just I'm lost in the music This has never happened to me before to [00:16:00] this extent like it's it was a visual experience It was a psychedelic experience. It was a Emotional experience but I was the music. And because I was the music, I was, I think, expressing the music through the dancing and movements of my body.
It was very strange and I've never like, I'm a lifelong fan of music. I've always loved music and I've never gone this deep with it before. And never did I think that it would happen with freaking UK dubstep. Says Mrs. Househead over here.
It was like I was so in sync with the music that there was no difference between who I was and who the music was. In other words, I lost sense of self, like I lost a sense of myself. I was, I was [00:17:00] observing all of this happening, but it was in this totally neutral bird's eye perspective, and that awareness had no impact on what was happening.
That awareness was not in control. It was simply awareness, I was the observer, but it didn't feel like me. It didn't feel like Lana Pribyk as she is. it just simply felt like awareness and it was almost like it was there just for the purpose of being able to recall and be present for this experience.
That's what happened. And then, so as I was scripting out this episode for you guys, I Googled the definition of an ego death after I processed all this. And this is what I came across. So an ego death is an experience in which you lose your sense of self by cultivating a deep sense of awareness.
[00:18:00] This is definitely what I felt was happening to me. And it was like, I lost my sense of self by becoming music, by becoming sound, and even deeper than that, by becoming this primal dark energy that was in the music. And it was so wild, and it was so psychedelic.
While this was all happening there were moments of coming in and out of it where Robbie and I just looked and he, I, just to back up for a moment, my friend Robbie was like having this experience with me I think I went deeper than he did because I was consuming Those small amounts of the DMT throughout the day and evening, but like we were checking in with each other a little bit when I wasn't so lost.
And we were like, Oh my gosh, I think we're having like, A base awakening, like I think we're having a dubstep awakening and we would have to just like check in every now and then with our bodies because we [00:19:00] realized how dehydrated and thirsty we were because we were just like dancing non stop and we had to be like okay time out like we need to step outside for a moment to get some air like I think the body is breaking down and it just kept going and so okay this is where the story gets really juicy.
you I felt like, so connected to the music, you guys, that I felt like I was making love to it and it was making love back to me I was like having sex with the music. That's how good it sounded. And then like my body expressing itself through the music, also felt really good and was like just so it made it so strongly connected to the experience of the sound You guys Always heard of these musical orgasms, but I didn't really comprehend what they meant.
I had a musical orgasm like I [00:20:00] had a physiological orgasm listening and dancing to this music
Yeah, my body just had this explosion of bliss that felt like an orgasm and I don't know if this has happened to any of you out there listening. If it has, please DM me. I would love to hear about your experience, but man, it was intense and it was really beautiful. As I was making love to the music, it was like I was making love to myself, but it was this dark side of myself.
It was like this darkness inside of me, and it was really sexy. And mysterious and dark, we think of darkness as really scary and something to be feared. It was not scary. Like I said, it was like mysterious and sexy and calling me in
so at the end of the night, the music stopped and I was [00:21:00] absolutely devastated. I went up to the front of the, like where the DJ was playing and I was like, no, you can't stop. Like you need to keep going. And I was just devastated that the music stopped. But.
Eventually, my friend Carolina and Ryan came over and this is why I mentioned them at the beginning of the story. I actually fainted. My body collapsed to the ground and then I started panting and gasping for air. And I realized that it's because yeah, I basically had just spent three or four hours just nonstop dancing with very occasional breaks for air and water.
So basically I just did the longest workout of my life. I literally left everything that I had on the dance floor. Like I, I've never gone this hard before with dancing. Oh my god. It was so beautiful But yeah, it did lead me to fainting [00:22:00] and luckily carolina and ryan were there and the festival like ran out of water Which probably also played a role in the fainting?
But yeah, they were able to go and find water for me and yeah, they were just on the ground with me and I Think once the music stopped I was Coming back down to this 3D reality because the music kept me rooted in that dimension of the Inner darkness and, the base portal, which is the portal for the inner darkness for me.
So when the music stopped and it no longer was there, I had to come back down. And I remember I looked at Carolina and Ryan and I I realized who they were and I was like, wow, am I ever going to come back? Like I, I don't know if I'm ever going to come back and yeah they were just there supporting me and helping me, which I'm so grateful for and they, yeah, they got me water and I [00:23:00] was like, I think I need to go to a fire and yeah, they had to basically grab my stuff because I couldn't grab my stuff and walk me to the fire.
I needed help with walking. Yeah. And yeah, as soon as we actually got to the fire, it didn't take very long for me to start coming back into my body. And to just, yeah, remember who I was and to ground back to earth and pretty much right away that in there. Like I mentioned, Carolina works with people with, high dose experiences and she was there to help me integrate.
And I started talking about it right away. And, I realized that this experience for me was. I was learning about a new layer of myself. I was discovering this new layer of myself. It was my inner darkness, and it was sexy, and it was dark, and it was mysterious, and it wasn't scary, and it was calling me in, and I was so [00:24:00] curious about it.
And it's really hard to describe, but it really was just this, it was this savage beast inside of me that Now that I've had this experience, I do believe we all have this yeah, this savage beast. It's probably the thing that, leads people to do very crazy shit in the world if it's not integrated and if it's not accepted and seen, but It was like this part of me that was just wanting to like kind of
Like that's the noise that I made as I was integrating it with Carolina the wobble of the bass and you know what the dj that was playing while I was having the Most intense part of this experience. He did post his set. So if any of you are curious about this type of dubstep I'm gonna post it in the show notes, but it's so like [00:25:00] wobbly and The bass is just so captivating that it was like speaking to a part of my soul that hasn't been expressed or spoken to me for And I think that soul resonance along with the psychedelics that I had consumed and just where I was in my personal journey and how intentionally I had approached this experience, I think all of that combined, it felt like.
These keys just kept unlocking for me to discover this new layer of myself. And honestly, I am so in love with this part of myself and I'm going to share now what I've learned from this with you guys. So yeah, Carolina is very shamanic and she was there to help me. Integrated. And like I said, she helped pulled out this she was like, what was the base trying to [00:26:00] express?
What was it saying to you? And I let out this like roar. And it was like a like,
And I was like, Oh yeah, it's my inner savage beast, right? That darkness. And what I've integrated about that is that the inner darkness is a beautiful part of me and that there's nothing to fear about exploring it. What I came to was that I fell really in love with this inner darkness and I'm just totally obsessed with this part of me.
And it's almost like I met a new soulmate or something, but it was just a new part of myself. And I'm just as a result, not afraid of the darkness anymore. And I get it. I understand it. And I understand that it's a part of me and that it's a part of this human experience and that this is the journey of wholeness of becoming whole.
I don't think [00:27:00] that engaging with our inner darkness means that the result is something
violent or aggressive or scary. What I'm learning is that engaging with my inner darkness is like It's delicious, and there's so much to learn from it, and like I said, it's the process of becoming whole through self discovery we are so infinitely deep as human beings, and the deeper you go, the deeper you go, and I just have so much fun exploring all parts of me, and this is probably the deepest part of me that I've uncovered throughout my journey, and I'm just constantly blown away at the ability that psychedelics have to open up portals for self discovery.
It really is endless and
Yeah, this was just so clearly another step, the [00:28:00] next step along the journey for me. I don't think I would have really been ready for this until I did reach a place of self acceptance of everything that I am. Otherwise... I wouldn't have been in a place to receive this inner darkness so beautifully. I would have judged it as bad or undesirable or scary or something to be resisted and feared, but I have really welcomed it in with open arms.
I'm curious about it, right? And I'm curious about it because I'm solid in myself and I have nothing to fear about any part of myself that comes up. So yeah, that was the first thing. The second thing that I've taken away from this is that I have this primal instinct that has awakened. So that, yeah, that roar, it brought out this primal instinct, the savage beast within me.
And I was just letting it out on the dance floor and expressing it on the dance floor. I [00:29:00] wish I could have seen how I was moving. I guess I wish I could recreate how I was moving, but it was something else. And I think what this part of me has to teach me is just, yeah, deeper acceptance of the, the savagery within me, which I am expressing through dance.
I think it allows me to understand the savagery within humanity. And I think, especially with everything going on right now, there is some serious savagery being expressed in really horrific ways right now. And I don't think that denying that inner savagery is the answer because it is a part of us.
We are holographic human beings who contain everything within us. It's [00:30:00] not about that. It's about the expression of it and the integration of it. And what we see in the world is such a horrific and unhealthy and unconscious integration of this part. Yeah, this is really deep. And I know when this
I'm sure some of you are probably thinking like, where could she possibly be going with this? Okay, music festival. But this is what I mean, guys , psychedelic experiences have no boundaries around the space or the way that we choose to do them. So long as we are doing them intentionally with respect and, in a safe way, we can gain profound insights about ourselves and human nature through these experiences.
Yeah. Okay. So the last thing that I learned that I want to talk about is my musical journey and how it's evolving. and how that in [00:31:00] itself is a reflection of my evolution. Like I said, I have been a music fan for Ever, I think really it started in my teenage years. I was a huge fan of indie rock and Kind of like more emo music and just really emotive lyrics and things like that But music has always been so so important to me to understand What I'm feeling and what I'm going through, like music has always been that mirror for me.
And since getting into electronic music, I don't know, seven, eight years ago, almost a decade ago, it's opened up even more opportunity for observation because I find electronic music, especially when it's just beats and sounds and it doesn't have lyrics. You really need to engage with it more deeply and in a Yeah, like in a way where you like you just make a little more effort because the meaning of [00:32:00] it is not so inherent in the lyrics, it's more about understanding the energy and the vibration and the emotion.
Behind the sound and I have been a huge fan of house music and a huge fan of drum and bass music for many years And I did not think that my like musical spiritual Capstone experience would be with dubstep.
I Really did not think I would get there but man, I really fucking love Dubstep and it is grimy and it is filthy and it is savage and I love that I have this connection to it now that allows me to explore and express this inner darkness within me because it does want to be explored and this is such a beautiful and just expressive [00:33:00] healthy way to explore that part of me and I'm so excited about it.
So yeah, I'm just excited to explore more artists and sounds and just to see. What I learn about myself through it, and I definitely didn't think that this would be the music that I would connect with over any other genre. I'm even getting into Psytrance lately and psychedelic techno. And yeah, it's been so fun to watch my musical tastes and evolve in parallel to my personal growth and spiritual journey.
And they really are just reflective of each other. But. Who knew that music and connection to music could get you to the point of having a, psychedelic ego death and integrating your inner darkness. But this experience is reminding me to stay open minded, to try new things, to be open to different sounds, different tastes, different perspectives, because you never know what you'll learn about yourself by exploring new things.
yeah, at the beginning of the episode, I said that there's so many reasons [00:34:00] why. This unexpected ego death makes sense and yeah, I'll just go over that really quickly. So number one, my relationship to the pyramid stage and my intentionality going into the experience, I prepped my mind, my body, I connected with my spirit for this and yeah, this place is just so deeply special to me.
. Number two, yeah, Carolina and Ryan, knowing that they were there made me feel safe. I knew in the back of my mind that these friends that I had been spending a lot of time with and building a beautiful relationship throughout.
The year we're going to be there for me, if anything happened and they just have such a beautiful, caring nature to them I just really trust, trust them, especially Carolina. Like she's my soul sister. So I knew that if anything were to happen and if I needed them, that they were going to be there and guess what?
I fainted and I needed water and they were there to help me. And I really appreciate them for that. Number three, Harvest is a very [00:35:00] safe space where I feel very comfortable. it's my home and that also made me feel safe.
And so I felt safe to go that deep within myself in this particular space, Number four, the music. Of course I lose myself in music, right?
Like, Of course I had this ego death.
I strongly connect to music, especially bassy electronic music. So I was just willing to literally surrender myself to surrender my identity in lieu of becoming this other thing that I am so in love with, which is music. And it was so awesome to be music. Music is awesome. And number five, mentally, I was in a really good place mentally, spiritually, and I knew that I wanted to use this weekend at Harvest to celebrate and honour how far I've come in the four years.
I really did close so many loops [00:36:00] before Harvest so I felt like this was the start of a new cycle and I also set boundaries for myself beforehand that I would savour every single moment and be so present and not do anything or be anywhere that I didn't want to be, so yeah, I followed my energy as a way of honouring myself and I think that also granted me this beautiful experience, so. okay, I'm going to start closing this off here. So even preparing this episode for you has been an amazing form of integration for me. So thank you for listening and receiving and being a part of my process. I really.
I appreciate you and I appreciate you being engaged with my sharing and I hope that there was something in there for you because I'm not sharing this to, talk about myself. I'm sharing this to share, to inspire, to light a fire, to expand what is possible and what we think is possible for ourselves.
[00:37:00] Yeah, thank you for being a part of it. I would love to hear from you in my DMs or email if you have had a similar experience. If you're enjoying the show, please go ahead and leave a five star rating and review on Apple Podcasts. That means so much to me. Send me a screenshot and I'll send you a copy of the integration journal that I've created.
And lastly, for my Loyal listeners , which is probably you if you've made it this far I would love to get your feedback on how you are enjoying the show and what would you would like to see going forward? We're going to the year three of the podcast and I would love to just hear from you what you want more of what you Want less of and any?
Feedback that you have for me. I would love that and if you want to go ahead and fill out that form It's linked in the show notes. You'll be entered to win one of two coaching sessions with me. So there is going to be a little competition involved in that. So that's that. Let me know what you think of this whole [00:38:00] experience.
It is super wild and super psychedelic and so is life. So with that, always remember to integrate your psychedelic experiences and do it in a way that feels right to you. I literally wrote out the script for this episode while smoking cannabis and listening to the same music that I was listening to when this happened for me and it was such a beautiful way to integrate this experience.
So yeah, get creative, do what feels right, just, Get it out of you and find ways to take that experience and learn from it and integrate it. And yeah just be with it and make it a part of you. All right, I'm going to sign off. Thank you so much for listening. I love you so much. Be safe and have a beautiful rest of the month of October.
Bye everyone.
