075 | What’s Changed in My Life 6 Months After Shipibo Ayahuasca (Integration Update)
“I’m carrying myself differently. I’m showing up differently. I’m wanting to be seen differently because I see myself differently.”
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PUBLISHERS NOTE: As of January 2024, I can no longer recommend Reunion as a place to experience plant medicine. See full statement HERE.
After 30+ ayahuasca journeys, I finally got to experience the Shipibo medicine with a direct lineage. It was a beautiful experience and a lot has changed for me since then. Overall, I feel ligher, brighter, and more comfortable in my skin.
In this episode, I am giving you an integration update: what exactly has changed for me, what steps have I taken to integrate the insights, and what's different about me as a person?
I hope this episode inspire you to continue to learn and grow with plant medicines. I started sitting with ayahuasca years ago when I was totally broken, and even though I am not in that place anymore, the plants continue to teach and guide me. No matter where we are in our journey, the plants have so much to teach us.
If you haven't listened to the journey reports, check out episode 60 & 64 (linked in the show notes).
I'm really happy with how I've been able to hold the light and the dark equally within myself and within the world. I have this understanding that they're both there and that they both exist and that they both will always exist.
- Lana PribicIn this episode, I talk about:
Recapping the key insights and takeaways from the ceremonies
My gut healing journey with a holistic nutritionist
Going through an elimination diet and learning to listen to my digestion
Integrating a new layer of femininity and being a woman in the world
Having fun with fashion and increasing my confidence
Sharpened boundaries around how I want to be treated as a woman
Opening up to dating and a relationship
Leaning into darkness fearlessly
Prioritizing fun in life and contributing to community
Contributing to a culture of love within my local community
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LISTEN
“I am wanting to contribute to the spaces that I partake in and actually be a creator of them rather than just be a consumer of them. Sometimes that just means showing up and being loving and creating an environment of love and acceptance for the people that I’m around.”
Things Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 69 with Karina and Julian from Reunion (Apple | Spotify)
Krista, my holistic nutritionist
mention Modern Psychedelics for 15% off any program!
Where to find Lana:
I was introduced to psychedelics in my early 20s within rave culture, and few years later I began to use plant medicine ceremonially.
Many circumstances aligned leaving me shattered, and I began the journey of putting myself back together. Plant medicine & psychedelics saved me from depression, anxiety, and a life of feeling unworthy. This is now my life’s work and I have devoted myself to sharing psychedelics and plant medicines with others because I have personally experienced how effectively they can catalyze growth, healing and connection.
This idea for Modern Psychedelics came to me during a journaling session in early 2020. I was learning so much about psychedelics at the time (while experiencing the benefits firsthand), and I had a deep desire to talk about these topics with people in the field. Upon launching the Instagram community, the page grew tremendously over a short period of time and continues to have high levels of engagement.
I am a 3x certified professional life coach, and I work with people who want to better their lives by deeply integrating insights from their psychedelic experiences. I believe that we don’t have to spend our entire lives healing, and that the purpose of life is to live in the present moment.
Looking for a professional coach to support you on your psychedelic path?
Look no further! Along with being the host of the Modern Psychedelics Podcast, Lana is a 3x certified professional coach who works with people on the psychedelic path.
Podcast Transcipt
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Lana Pribic: [00:00:00] Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. I'm so happy to have you here today. So I am going to be sharing today about my integration process. What's changed for me six months post my Shipibo ayahuasca experience at reunion. So if you guys haven't listened to those episodes, I believe it's six. 60 and 64, but I'll link them for you in the show notes.
I suggest checking those out first before listening to this one, but I'm really excited to share what's changed for me over the past six months. I feel like a different person for sure and this experience is one that I just hold so so dearly in my heart. It was absolutely just such a privilege and an honor and just such a special experience to sit with the Shipibo maestras and to experience not just their medicine, but their culture.
And I just feel their presence with me and their [00:01:00] medicine with me all the time. And overall, I do feel lighter. I feel brighter. I feel more myself unapologetically myself. And honestly, I've been having a lot of fun in my life since this experience. And I've just created a lot of space for enjoying life.
So to remind you guys, my main takeaways from this medicine experience were the big one was around my gut and the medicine was showing me that my gut and heart are not in sync and that. When they are in sync and they're talking to each other, that is when I'll be able to access just a lot more personal power,
the message was listen to your body. You can hear your body, but you're not listening to it That was the big one. There was Insight around just like leaning more into my femininity and like my sexuality something so New for me something I've always suppressed which I'm going to talk about in this episode that there's something there for me to [00:02:00] explore There was this insight around trying to be like others and when I try to be like others.
That's me actually stealing their gifts from them and taking from them. It was really about just like lean into who you are. You have this treasure chest of magical, beautiful, unique things about yourself to explore. So explore that and also protect your gifts and your treasures. And the other one was just around, gosh, The significance of being alive on this planet right now, this beautiful earth, this beautiful place that we call home, which I guess it's in the eye of the beholder, whether we see the earth as a beautiful place.
I know a lot of people do not. I personally do, even though I do see a lot of things that aren't beautiful about it, but, just earth itself, our earth mother, the mother that holds. Our experience of life is just such a beautiful privilege and experience to [00:03:00] be here. So enjoy your time on this planet.
That was another main message. So. I'm going to tell you guys a little bit about, yeah, what's changed for me, how I've taken those insights and woven them into my life. So I hope this gives you some insight into, yeah, just the realities of integration. And let me tell you, I'm not perfect. I don't do it perfectly.
And I don't really think that there is such a thing as perfection, but I will say that I'm someone who does lean into it. Hope that you can take something away from this. So the gut health was a huge thing for me. I Remember after I left reunion So I was on the ayahuasca diet like a week or two beforehand and then during the week there I was also on it.
So it's a very anti inflammatory diet. I remember when I left I felt amazing and I was like, wow, my body feels so not inflamed and not puffy. Like I had noticed that even my, [00:04:00] like my face was not inflamed. My gut was not inflamed and I felt so good. So I held onto that and I took the lessons around.
Learning to trust my gut and healing my gut and I put those two together and I actually reached out to a holistic nutritionist, Krista. I reached out to her and I was like, you know what, I really want to work on my gut health and we started working together. And what I did with her was actually an elimination diet during the summer, which was not easy.
Cause I, I am a sugar addict and I am an ice cream addict and not having summer, not having ice cream during the summer was really hard. But I did it. So the elimination diet consisted of two, a two week period where I eliminated
the foods that are most commonly difficult to digest for people. So I removed dairy, gluten, processed sugar Tomatoes, garlic, onion fermented foods, beef, [00:05:00] pork, like a lot of stuff. So I was eating very clean for two weeks. And then after the two weeks, you add stuff in one by one. And you see how your body reacts.
This was Illuminating you guys, I'm so happy I did this. It was really hard, but wow. I learned so much about one, what it feels like for my body to function when it's actually digesting food properly. And then I also learned what it feels like for my body to not digest food properly. And I learned what foods I have a hard time digesting.
So what I learned was that I definitely I cannot digest gluten very well, large amounts of dairy I do definitely have an issue with onions and garlic, which is such a shame. And I definitely, yeah I prep my body when I'm consuming those tomatoes. And then I also noticed that when I eat fruit after a meal, so in the summer I would make these sorbets instead of my ice [00:06:00] cream, but I would make these like fruit sorbets for dessert after dinner and it caused massive flare ups in my digestion.
So throughout this process I also learned how to listen to my body. The ayahuasca said you can hear your body but you're not listening to it. Going through this elimination diet, paying attention to my daily bowel movements, paying attention to how my stomach's feeling, paying attention to how I'm feeling, paying attention to my energy and how I am reacting to each food was so enlightening and I've done many things around diet.
I remember I did a like candida diet many years ago. This feels more powerful because I've been more actively involved in the process and I've been personally connected to the process. So yeah, working with Krista on this was so helpful. If you guys are also like interested in doing a gut healing journey, an elimination diet, highly freaking recommend it.
And if you want to work with Krista, I'll leave her info for you guys [00:07:00] below. I told her I was going to talk about her in this episode, and she was kind enough to offer listeners 15 percent off of her program. So I'll just leave that there for you guys if you're interested. But honestly, I feel the best that I have felt in my body in a really long time.
I dropped five to seven pounds like that. Uh, And... It wasn't even weight. It was literally inflammation in my body . I feel comfortable in my gut. I don't feel bloated. I don't feel uncomfortable. And I think as a result, if I'm able to feel comfortable and connected with my body, like I think this is the, and this is an unfolding process, but what I'm feeling into is that this is going to guide and prepare me to be able to better listen to my intuition.
I read the other day that there are more bacteria in our gut than there are stars in the galaxy. Crazy. So yeah, this gut healing journey has been [00:08:00] really beautiful. I was super resistant to it. But yeah, I'm really happy with how I eat now. I am taking digestive enzymes. If I am eating something that is a trigger for me, yeah, I'll take the digestive enzymes and bitters.
I, I'm just like paying attention to myself and I'm not doing, I'm not doing it perfectly. I still consume things I don't digest well, but again. It's paying attention and one of the biggest gifts of this is that now when I eat something that doesn't agree with me, I feel so sick. I feel so sick nauseous, I'm backed up, I won't go to the bathroom for days I will sometimes get physical pain in my stomach, so it is the process of learning to listen to my body and I'm being really gentle with myself and knowing that real changes, especially with something like diet for someone who's a sugar addict, it's gonna take time.
But I'm also using [00:09:00] like I've discovered gluten free baking and baking with coconut sugar instead of refined sugar. And first of all, I don't feel disgusting after, and I can crush like half of a dessert, which I do pretty much every time I make a dessert. I'm not alone in that, right? Just like eating the whole thing in one sitting.
Yeah, but I don't feel as disgusting after, and I can actually digest it. And to my surprise. It's actually more fucking delicious than using gluten and dairy and I even buy this vegan coconut yogurt, which I've always been against vegan products, but I found one that has no fillers. I've also noticed fillers and gosh, fillers and pesticides and things like that.
I'm buying more organic. It just is making all the difference. So yeah, I have made leaps and bounds in this area and I'm so grateful that it literally felt that the ayahuasca, it spoke to me and it said, this is the next step in your healing. And I have leaned [00:10:00] into it. So that's where the bulk of my energy has been going to over these last six months and will continue to go into.
Okay. What do I want to talk about next? Yeah, I have really tapped into a new layer of femininity and of being a woman in the world. I feel like, honestly, gosh, before I almost gave my, per myself permission to be seen in this way. I was afraid, like I was afraid to be fully seen in my femininity and to not hold back.
And it's funny because sexiness. I've always loved sexiness. Like I used to be a boudoir photographer and I would have these events and I would take these really sexy photos of, my clients of women who wanted beautiful, sexy portraits of themselves [00:11:00] and they weren't like raunchy or like porny or anything like that, but they were like feminine and sexy and powerful and.
Even like with music, I love music that is really sexy, like some like really feminine, delicious lyrics on like a sick baseline. Like nothing, nothing excites me more. So I've always had this thing with sexiness, but I never let myself be sexy. And especially sexy in my femininity. And I feel like I've finally given myself permission to do that.
It was, it was, It was kind of the nature of the ayahuasca medicine that kind of opened this up for me. It's hard to explain, but it's this if you guys listen back to my episode, I felt like I really met the medicine. Like I really felt the energy of it and it was serpent-y and like dark and mysterious and like alluring and sexy and just experiencing that [00:12:00] energy from the medicine.
Allowed me to open that up within myself. So ways that this has been integrating for me through fashion massively, like I feel like I am addressing more in more feminine ways and in more feminine clothing and clothing that really makes me feel like a woman that I want to feel like. And I've been I remember after After I had this retreat in Costa Rica, I spent five more weeks in Costa Rica and they just have the most amazing markets in Costa Rica.
I literally bought myself a whole new wardrobe that was embodying this like flowy, goddessy, sexy vibe and it's turning into winter here in Canada and I'm like definitely swapping over my wardrobe and yeah, stepping into this new version of myself who isn't afraid to be seen as like a sexy woman.
And it feels really good. And I think this is also partially my work with Iboga that [00:13:00] I had done, which finally brought me so much peace around just my appearance and how I look in the world, which took me 31 years to fully accept myself as I am. And then add on this like layer of femininity and sexiness.
I just, I'm carrying myself differently. I'm showing up differently. I'm wanting to be seen differently because I see myself differently. So yeah, I've been having so much fun with fashion. It's been so fun to just get dressed every day and to. Yeah, just present myself in the way that I want to present myself.
I've really struggled. I think we all did post COVID and like getting dressed. I'm not slapping tons of makeup on my face because that's not who I am. I don't like tons of makeup. But it's more so just about taking that time in the morning in front of the mirror to connect with myself and to connect with like, how does this body feel today?
How does this body want to present itself to the world today? So that's been a [00:14:00] huge change that is like doing wonders for my confidence, doing wonders for just me showing up. The rave space has been really empowering for me for this to explore this side of me I've been having so much fun with all my rave outfits and you know sewing stuff and going thrifting and just like creating fun looks that are sexy and that are just new layers coming out and it's been so fun, And the other part of this too this like this new femininity this new womanhood that I'm stepping into it's like Internally, as a woman, I feel like my boundaries are so much stronger around who I am, around how I want to be treated, around what is okay and what isn't okay.
I'm dating now, and I'm on the apps, and I'm going on dates, and I'm like pretty... Pretty ruthless with knowing what I want and with knowing how I want to be treated and it just makes dating a lot easier. And yeah, it probably leads me to I don't know, [00:15:00] dismissing people. faster than I have in the past, but honestly, I'm not here to waste my time with what I'm not looking for.
So yeah, that's how it's internally showing up and overall, I'm just more myself. And when I meet someone new, I just don't hold back and this is who I am. And then. But related to that is that I am actively open to and looking for love and partnership. Really exciting.
It feels so good to be here. I've been going out and socializing almost every weekend. I have an amazing new group of friends, which I love going out with and we have so much fun together and just meeting so many people in the Toronto community and yeah, just allowing myself to present myself in the way that I want to present myself.
I think post eboga, , my eboga journey got me like 95 percent of the way. there with just like fully putting my past relationship away. And then after this [00:16:00] ayahuasca experience, there was like 5 percent that still needed to be done. And that was just a matter of following my gut, listening to my gut and yeah, reconnecting and being really honest, showing up in an honest way and just closing the loop for good.
And it feels good. I remember, yeah, one of the things I pulled here that I talked about in my episode where I was talking about the experience, it was fully related to this. It was like the medicine was telling me like, I know you're scared, but no matter what happens, know that you're protected.
You can share your truth. You can lay it out. You can ask for what you want in life. And no matter what happens, you have yourself, you have medicine, you have the You have so much holding you and protecting you. So this really helped me to, yeah, just follow my gut and finally really close a big loop, like a four year long loop.
And I know I've talked about this so many times on the podcast, but you guys, it's I promise you it's finally closed and it feels so good. And I'm [00:17:00] like ready to put myself out there. I'm ready to date and I'm ready to let someone in. And it feels so good. Like I said at the beginning, I'm just like feeling lighter and brighter.
Okay. So another thing, I'm no longer afraid of the dark. I don't know if you guys listened to episode 73, I talked about my first psychedelic ego death with DMT and meeting my inner darkness and it was so intense, but it was honestly very Shapibo medicine y, so Shapibo medicine for me was very dark, it was very mysterious, it was definitely like the realms of darkness, but it was sexy and seductive and I think this like introduction to the space helped me not be afraid of it and helped me not go there.
with this DMT experience, but yeah, I just, I'm really happy with how I've been able to hold the light and the dark equally within myself and within the world [00:18:00] and just have this understanding that they're both there and that they both exist and that they both will always exist and I've really accepted my own darkness and it doesn't have to be this bad thing.
It's just The dark side. It's just the dark side of the moon. It's just there. It doesn't, it just means what I want it to mean. And I think that is where this like more sexy energy for me lives. And it's been really useful to tap into that from that perspective, rather from the perspective of like, the dark is bad and evil and should be avoided.
It's No, actually, the dark is like mysterious and sexy. So Yeah, and It also has helped me to embrace and accept all my own imperfections, and I don't know What I can give you guys in terms of like how did I actually integrate this? What did I do to actually integrate this other than the inner work?
to [00:19:00] accept that within myself. Like the medicine showed me this realm of darkness. So I took that and I was like, okay, where is that within myself? And like, how can I respect that within myself? How can I bring that out within myself? So it was more of like inner integration that just naturally shows up in who I'm being and how I'm presenting myself.
Yeah, I'm like integrating this and processing this as I'm telling you guys, so I hope it's making sense. And then, yeah, lastly, I'm just having fun and enjoying my time on Earth, man. I did go into this ayahuasca experience feeling... pretty healed, pretty good. So I think this is more of a testament to just where I am in my journey and my own unique work with medicine rather than, what is probably typical for any medicine experience.
I know [00:20:00] that this is new for me, but Like I mentioned I am having so much fun going out dancing meeting new people building community I am finding my space here in Toronto. I am finding my roots here. I am wanting to actually contribute to the spaces that I partake in and actually be a creator of them rather than just be a consumer of them.
And it's just bringing me so much fulfillment. I think with my podcast, I've been focused on for the last three years, I've been so focused on searching Creating opportunities for transformation for people globally, like I have listeners and an audience that is global and I love you guys.
And I do this for you guys. And I feel the connection with you guys. When I release content and we connect over it and we have this dance with each other, where [00:21:00] I listened to you and I want to make this a valuable experience for you. And I love that. And I love that global impact. I love that wide reaching impact.
But lately I've also been wanting to focus my impact on local and on community and on where I can physically feel it and see it. And I can physically feel and see the people that These contributions touch and sometimes that means, doing a harm reduction shift at a party or helping set up a space, but sometimes it just means showing up and being loving and creating a environment of love and acceptance for the people that I'm around.
So yeah, it's been really nice to focus, impact, and contribution at the local level. And I'm finding that it's really fun. And it's really enjoying and I don't plan on [00:22:00] stopping that. And I'm also having fun, like I said, with fashion and getting dressed up and, playing with my makeup and like playing with these like different characters and versions of myself.
It's just a lot of fun. So yeah, there you have it. And I think the last thing I want to leave you guys with that is something I'm integrating. That's just specific to this particular container. The the Shipibo maestras of the Sanchez Lopez lineage that I sat with and got to experience, but also of experiencing my time at Reunion.
Yeah, my level of reverence and respect, it's always been there, but wow. Sitting in ceremony with these beautiful healers brought me to an even deeper reverence and respect for not just the Shipibo culture, certainly the Shipibo culture that was shared with me, but an understanding of, the true importance and [00:23:00] Urgency to protect and support, not even protect, but to support these cultures and how important their ways are and how important it is that we don't, as a human family, and as a humanity, lose these old ways and to support them by Thank Showing up in their spaces with openness and a willingness to receive and to not just treat this as, another experience.
So I don't really know what that looks like for me. the long run, but I do know that participating in a ceremony with a direct lineage and having that connection and then also being in a container where the reunion staff was just so incredibly devoted to sharing medicine with Westerners in a good way, it definitely did something to me and I can't share too much [00:24:00] about it because it's still unfolding and it's still unpacking.
I do know that right now I'm in a place with modern psychedelics where I need to pause and zoom out because who I am now is not the same person that I was three years ago when I started this, yet I'm doing things the same way as I've been doing them since I started them. So I know that I need to take a pause to zoom out And part of that zoom out is going to be integrating this particular aspect of the reverence and the respect and the importance and urgency to share and protect.
Ensure the survival of these beautiful cultures that are that we're lucky enough to experience, if we are lucky enough. So yeah, that was incredibly profound. And I look forward to seeing how that continues to integrate [00:25:00] and unfold for me in my own work and seeing where that takes me on my journey.
So there you have it. I hope that this was useful. If you are interested in going to Reunion, they offer experiences that are just very beautiful, respectful and full of reverence. They work with direct lineages, various direct lineages to serve the ayahuasca medicine in a beautiful, traditional way that includes cultural bridges.
So it's not just you going to, a retreat You and the facilitators or the maestras don't understand each other. There are cultural bridges there that work with them who are there to hold your hand and their hand and make sure that everyone is understanding each other. And that was just very beneficial.
They also do psilocybin mushroom journeys with their facilitation team. I can't say enough beautiful things. If you're looking for a retreat center that [00:26:00] is rooted in traditional Indigenous wisdom, is devoted to safeguarding and sharing that wisdom in a really beautiful, honest way through just beautiful, honest people, I definitely recommend Reunion.
It's that perfect blend of. Indigenous Wisdom, The Old Ways, and Western Comfort. Go back and listen to my episodes if you haven't already. I had Karina and Julian, they're senior program directors on the show. Super powerful episode, oh my gosh. If you haven't listened to it, go listen to it. And yeah, I'll leave the links below if you guys want to book a discovery call with them.
They're a not for profit center, which I love. And if you end up talking to them and end up booking, let them know you heard. About them through modern psychedelics that's going to help contribute to a fund that I have with reunion Which will actually be used to send someone In financial need from the modern psychedelics community to the center So yeah, also you can reach out to me if you have any [00:27:00] questions about my experience.
I also have some Instagram stories, like a highlight reel that you can check out. I just can't recommend it enough and I can't wait to go back again one day. I really can't. So there you have it. I hope this episode was useful. If it was share it with a friend or share it on social media and tag modern psychedelics and we'll repost it.
And I'm sending you so much love. And no matter where you're at in your process, know that it's perfect. And I hope that you are feeling just empowered to, yeah, take control and take the reins on your integration process. Sending you lots of love. Bye.
