087 | My Full Psychedelic Healing Journey & Origin Story: War, Abandonment, Heartbreak & Alienation
“The first time I got high on MDMA, I was twenty years old. I had the time of my life and thought, ”This is amazing; how is it even possible to feel this good?” And that started a new era for me.”
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This episode is so personal and vulnerable that I am almost uncomfortable sharing it publicly. I share my entire life story and my healing journey out of the darkness. I take listeners through the formation of my core wounds and self-destructive narratives, which ultimately left me depressed, anxious, lost, and disempowered to move my life forward in a positive direction.
But that’s only half of the story. The second half is the documentation of my healing journey with therapy, medicine work and self-discovery. By sharing these details, I am shining a light of the gift of the struggle. Most of my life has been an uphill battle, but in recent years I have reached a place of peace, happiness and fulfillment. And most of all, gratitude for it ALL!
Please consume this episode with nothing but love, as the specifics shared are very vulnerable and done with the aim of inspiring and giving hope to others who are also struggling in life. One thing is for sure: It’s possible to get to the other side, and life can be better than you ever thought possible.
In this episode, I talk about:
Being born into a war and fleeing the country
The refugee experience as a young girl
My first portal into self awareness and reflection
My first taste of rejection and comparison energy
Early experiences using alcohol & drugs to self-medicate
How cystic acne and my weight made my self-confidence plummet
The development of my core wounding & self-destructive narratives
Struggles with finding my career path and purpose
My first ever experience with MDMA & how I changed
Grad school: my dark night of the soul + mental health hell
The moment everything crashed and the misalignment became clear
Being a doormat in romantic relationships
Recovering from codependent patterns & loss of love
Replacing psychotherapy with Ayahuasca
How Microdosing and coaching started moving me forward
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Things Mentioned In This Episode:
Where to Find Lana:
I was introduced to psychedelics in my early 20s within rave culture, and few years later I began to use plant medicine ceremonially.
Many circumstances aligned leaving me shattered, and I began the journey of putting myself back together. Plant medicine & psychedelics saved me from depression, anxiety, and a life of feeling unworthy. This is now my life’s work and I have devoted myself to sharing psychedelics and plant medicines with others because I have personally experienced how effectively they can catalyze growth, healing and connection.
This idea for Modern Psychedelics came to me during a journaling session in early 2020. I was learning so much about psychedelics at the time (while experiencing the benefits firsthand), and I had a deep desire to talk about these topics with people in the field. Upon launching the Instagram community, the page grew tremendously over a short period of time and continues to have high levels of engagement.
I am a 3x certified professional life coach, and I work with people who want to better their lives by deeply integrating insights from their psychedelic experiences. I believe that we don’t have to spend our entire lives healing, and that the purpose of life is to live in the present moment.
Looking for a professional coach to support you on your psychedelic path?
Look no further! Along with being the host of the Modern Psychedelics Podcast, Lana is a 3x certified professional coach who works with people on the psychedelic path.
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Lana: [00:00:00] Hello everyone. Welcome back to the show. I have a fun episode for you today. I am being interviewed by one of my best friends and producer of the show, Kev. Welcome back.
Kev: What up? Hey, fam.
Lana: Yeah, we're going to start weaving Kevin a little bit more. Around here, so get used to him , today I actually asked Kev to interview me,
episode and that was so vulnerable. And I have this feeling in my chest right now that this is also going to be so vulnerable, but vulnerability is beautiful. So let's get into it. Thanks for cheering me on.
Kev: you can do this. We can
Lana: Yeah. Yeah. I really want to take you guys through my origin story of going through. War as a baby living in a country that was very different from my own growing up with like major [00:01:00] themes of alienation and abandonment. I want to take you through some of my key relationships in life and shine a light on really.
The gift of the struggle, the gift of the pain, and how I've really transformed it. I've come to a place where I'm really quite happy in life and with myself, and it's, that's definitely not always been that way. It's been an uphill battle. So I want to share with you guys, I want to share it with you guys because I think it's inspiring.
It's not lame to say about myself. That's not lame at all. But I think my story is inspiring.
Kev: to say about myself.
Lana: I've been through a lot, yeah. So it's
Kev: think my story is inspiring. I am! I think I've been through a lot,
Lana: It really is. Yeah. Yeah. I hand the mic over to you. [00:02:00] My interview.
Kev: as my mic collapses off of its stand jeez, pardon the interruption. Do you have any, do you have any jokes you can tell Lana while this is,
Lana: oh yeah. I'm watching Ted Lasso.
Kev: You on? I'm on
Lana: what I'm on season two. What does a British owl say? Yeah.
Kev: say? What?
Lana: Whom! Whom!
Kev: Ha. That's great.
Lana: Yeah, that Ted.
Kev: Shout out to Ted Lasso. That
Lana: Speaking of inspiring.
Kev: There's nothing like that show out there. There are no, there's not enough media in our modern world that where the main character is like as plucky and upbeat and where the show's themes are like.
Are about resilience and like nodding. Yeah, it's so positive such a positive show
Lana: Yeah. But he's got his demons too and his depths and yeah, they're just getting to the point of the show where he started to go to therapy. So
Yeah. Spoiler alert. Sorry. Anyways, watch Ted Lasso. Yeah. Very good show.
Kev: [00:03:00] Nice. Speaking of Ted Lasso, that's a segue. Yeah where were you born? Like, where were you born, by the way?
And, yeah, where did you grow up? Where are you from? What's your background? Planet Earth. Huh.
Lana: huh. Yeah, so I was born in an Eastern European country that was at the time called Yugoslavia.
And now it consists of six countries. Six countries, I believe. That no, no longer exists because I, when I was born six months later, the Kosovo conflict, the war broke out and truthfully, I don't know too much about the specifics of what went down.
But. Yeah, so the war broke out when I was six months old, and needless to say, I did not have a very average or normal upbringing.
Kev: Because so what like what happened like how long did you? Did your family stay in [00:04:00] like a conflict zone or like when did they move? And i'm sure moving wouldn't have been very fun
Lana: yeah, because
Kev: what would that make them?
Refugees?
Lana: yeah. Yeah. So we were in the. conflict zone the city that I was born in was in conflict. And we had to basically smuggle ourselves out. And pay people off and gosh, my mom has some stories about this, but we have to it's like handmaid's tale shit.
One of the handmaid's tale when they're like smuggling the handmaid's in the trucks and hiding them behind the, yeah, it's like shit like that. I got, I watched that show with my mom actually. And she was like very triggered by it because it brought back a lot for her. But so I was a baby and We had to get smuggled out of the war zone because there was checkpoints, right?
You couldn't leave, you couldn't just travel freely in a country when there's war. Luckily, my parents had money to pay people off. Not that we were like very rich or anything, but [00:05:00] I guess they saved their pennies. And then we relocated to a city called Pula. It's in what is now Croatia. And we stayed there for a few years and this was not a conflict zone.
But the war was still going on, right? We left, so my parents submitted applications to leave the country as refugees to the United States, Canada, and Australia.
Kev: it's probably like applying to universities, but like way more dire.
Lana: Way more dire, yeah.
Kev: Yeah. I hope I get picked by this
Lana: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so Canada picked us. Shout out to
Kev: got in to
Lana: We got in.
Kev: good enough.
Lana: Yeah, I don't know what they base it on, but yeah, we got accepted to Canada, and we we left the country with, a couple things. Couple suitcases and we actually landed in Montreal and I don't know if you know this, but Eastern Europeans are actually genetically [00:06:00] allergic to the cold.
Kev: What? What does this mean?
Lana: We just don't do cold. I don't know. Maybe it's just my family, but we don't do cold. Like I don't do cold. Anyways, we got to Montreal. It was like December or January, very cold. And my dad was basically like. Fuck this. And we took a bus from Montreal to Toronto because it's slightly less south and slightly less cold.
Kev: it's like we're talking slight,
Lana: Slightly. Yeah. Yeah. So then we settled in, a suburb in, in Toronto and It was tough. Yeah, like we were on welfare. We didn't have much. I think like almost everything that we had was like donated through Various organizations to us. We really didn't have much. And we lived in these apartment buildings, with basically a bunch of other refugees and people who were not from Canada.
[00:07:00] And yeah, it was it's crazy to talk about, isn't it? But, yeah that's how it all started.
Kev: So did your family integrate into society and I think from what I understand your family ended up being fairly successful in their endeavors.
Lana: Yeah, I think my parents have worked really hard and come such a long way
Yeah, they, so they had to go to ESL school and learn this new language and figure out how to make money. And they're, my mom was like a chemist and my dad was a electrician back home and they couldn't really get the same jobs here.
So they had to figure out how to make a living. And of course I didn't understand any of this growing up until I was late into my adult years, but yeah, it was as tough as you would imagine it to be, right? Very [00:08:00] poor. So do you, English is not your first language? No. What's your first language?
So Bosnian,
Kev: Bosnian. Yeah, so
Lana: so Bosnian, Serbian, Croatian. Very similar languages. It's like English in Canada versus UK versus Australia. Sure. Dialects. Yeah.
Kev: in Montreal versus French in France. Do you speak Bosnian at home?
Lana: I'm not very good at it, but I do.
Kev: parents speak Bosnian to you growing
Lana: They do. We speak like, we call it Spain glish, like Serbian English. We like mix it, mix the two.
Kev: There was like a conscientious effort to speak English.
Lana: like a conscientious effort to speak English. Days later, but especially when I went away to [00:09:00] university. I started losing my Bosnian and today I can speak in and understand it, but my grammar is awful and I forget words and similar to how I speak in English
Kev: Mhm.
Lana: But yeah, so they uh they speak in Bosnian to me and I'll speak in English back to them
Kev: in English back to them. Interesting. Yeah, sure. Yeah.
Lana: for, but we all understand each other. Okay. Yeah.
Kev: them.
Okay. So then what? So your parents are out hustling and doing their thing and raising kids and then you're one of the kids and
Lana: How
Kev: you do, what do you do when you go to school? Are you going, you go to school speaking Bosnian? Like, where did you learn English?
Lana: Yeah, the, I should mention I have an older brother who was,
Kev: than me. So he
Lana: older than he is six years older than me, so he actually has like memories of the war. My mom always says you're so lucky you don't remember anything. . My brother actually [00:10:00] has memories. But yeah, in like elementary school, honestly, I was a little shithead.
Kev: A rebel or just like a dope.
Lana: was so bad. I think I told my kindergarten teacher to fuck off. It was so bad.
Kev: That's rad.
Lana: Yeah, I don't think if She was listening right now. She would think that, but yeah, I was really bad. And the way I've processed all of that now is, I just, I wasn't getting the attention I needed at home because my parents were busy trying to set up a life and make a living.
And I think I was like really acting out. Like I was always in the principal's office. I was so bad. I was a problem
, I was pretty, pretty rebellious not rebellious, but I was pretty. Just troubled. I was troubled. I was not integrating well into society. I definitely had a problem with authority that has been a theme throughout my life.
And yeah, even in like middle school, I think I started to calm down a little [00:11:00] bit and I wasn't getting in trouble as much, although I did used to read books. In middle school, I was a little bookworm and I would get in trouble for reading books while the teachers were talking.
Kev: Oh, while they're, oh, you got in trouble for ignoring the teachers. You happen to be reading a book, which is a very noble
Lana: very normal thing. Yeah.
Kev: That's, so it's, yeah, hey, like, how many people grow up well adjusted?
I don't know. It's rare.
Lana: Yeah.
Kev: were on, you weren't one of those. I
Lana: I was not well adjusted.
Kev: Did anything help? What do you like? Books? I like
Lana: books. Yeah. That's cool. I like books. I ate a lot of
Kev: I ate a lot of candy. Yeah,
Lana: Yeah. All of them. I used to love, oh, what were they? Sweet tarts and nerds. Like any candy that was pure
Kev: candy that was [00:12:00] pure.
Lana: Those like tapes, like the tape gums. Fruit roll ups. Yeah, I had a sugar addiction from an early age that I'm battling right now.
Kev: man, that's pretty common in like Canada, at least in the States and like sugar's super marketed all around.
Lana: Yeah.
Kev: That's cool. What kind of music did you listen to in middle school?
Lana: Yeah, so in middle school I got really into music. . Yeah.
Kev: Did you play music? I
Lana: I played the French
Kev: horn! It's so dorky.
Lana: dorky. Very specific. But I got into music and like indie music and emo music. When I was in middle school, like a lot and I feel that music finally allowed me to feel seen and understood and, [00:13:00] like, all of the stuff that was going on inside of me finally felt started to understand it a little more, right?
The struggles, the internal struggles I started understanding it a little more and Understanding myself a little more. I think honestly, music was like my first portal into self awareness, personal development under self understanding all of that.
Kev: Huh, that's interesting. Yeah, I used to listen to emo music too, and that's, I didn't think about it until now, but that's definitely what it was doing, was helping like elucidate feelings that I was having.
It's like a way of self seeing yourself. That's cool. Oh, okay. So yeah, you had you were listening, the sad music helped you feel. Less sad.
Lana: Yeah. Less alone, the lonely music made me feel less alone. Yeah. Yeah. And in middle school, I had my first boyfriend.
Kev: and,[00:14:00]
Lana: Yeah, I went on and I remember I went like ice skating with him on a date and I was so afraid to ask my mom to go on a date because my parents were quite strict.
Like they would not allow me to go to the mall with friends. Like they were just like super strict Eastern European parents. And compared to all the Loose, chill, relaxed Canadian parents. I was like always so upset with them that they didn't let me do stuff. So anyways, I was like super nervous to ask my mom to go on this date that I hid under the kitchen table while I asked her,
Kev: my god.
Lana: that's how nervous I was.
Kev: Passed her a note.
Lana: So anyways, I went on this date, like we dated for a little while and then. And then he broke up with me, and I was very sad. And that was like, I think, my first taste of rejection. And I think I cried a lot. I was pretty boy crazy in middle school. I had this best friend, she was like very [00:15:00] beautiful.
And I compared myself to her and I thought she was just like so much prettier than me and she was very boy crazy. I followed along with her and yeah, I was just like this boy crazy teenager, right? Just always like thinking about boys and talking about boys while listening. To emo music.
Kev: music. Hell yeah.
Lana: And I just, I remember I like always felt like very deeply self conscious and I was always comparing myself to other girls and this carried through for me for such a long time.
Into my late adulthood. Yeah. Oh,
Kev: long time. Into my late adulthood. I think it's really common with women
Lana: think it's really common with women at least. Yeah, like we really have a hard time with our confidence, our looks, our appearance, our self worth. And yeah, for me it really started then [00:16:00] when like boys started entering the picture and I also started drinking really early.
I started drinking, I think the summer between grades 6 and 7. Maybe it was between 7
Kev: old is that?
Lana: No, you know what? I'm sorry. I started drinking the summer before high school. So it wasn't that early, but that's early. Looking back on that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Kev: Binge drinking. Constantly.
Lana: Yeah.
Kev: Yeah.
Lana: It's young.
Kev: that's pretty young.
Lana: young. Yeah, pretty young. It's young, but I guess it is standard for when people start drinking these
Kev: I think I started drinking around, I like experimented with drinking around that age too. I guess that's why I'm not that shocked. I'm like, that's, that tracks for me. I had a drink.
Lana: young.
Kev: It's young. Oh, it's young.
Lana: It's 15-year-old drinking alcohol. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah.
Kev: You just go for the gold, go for the blackout.
Lana: Yeah, I remember in high [00:17:00] school, I made this group of friends and I was I was the one who got us all into drinking alcohol.
Like I would like. I like figured out how to get it and yeah, I was like
Kev: was
Lana: was the plug and
Kev: plug,
Lana: Yeah, I remember everyone thought that I was like wacky and crazy which I guess I was
Kev: which I guess I was. Yeah, but in high school I
Lana: yeah, but in high school I developed this group of friends early on and It was nice because I had a group of girls.
There was like five of us and we were like best friends throughout the high school years. But at this time I developed acne.
Kev: Oh.
Lana: The hormones were raging.
Kev: wah.
Lana: Yeah, it was really bad. It was like really cystic bad. And then I was also like quite chubby. I think my hormones were just
Kev: We like to use the word round around
Lana: Yeah. [00:18:00] I was very round. I was very round. So yeah, my self confidence was so low, it was so low. I remember going bra shopping with my mom. It would just, it would be a tragedy. Like it would end in so many tears. I just felt so horrible about myself in high school. I really did. But I did wear some crazy shit.
Kev: Okay. Yeah, still owned it.
Lana: I wore some crazy shit and I think that's the thing. I always experimented with like different ways of expressing myself
Kev: Through that you still found a way to express yourself and have some joy.
Lana: Yeah. Yeah. I always really felt this desire to express myself.
So it was like really through fashion and music and I still loved reading books and I got, really into TV shows and all this stuff I think was just such a quest for me to try to understand myself. But it's I wasn't letting myself understand myself [00:19:00] because. All this time, I was always comparing myself to other people and I was never good enough as I was.
Yeah, and then another thing to note in high school near the last year or two, I started dating someone who was like one of my best friends, this guy who I'm friends with now, but yeah, we eventually broke up and then we got back together and then we broke up again and it was really hard for me because he moved on really quickly after that and that.
That really hurt me. A lot. It really hurt me a lot and it just perpetuated the story of I'm not good enough, I'm not pretty enough. It was like this narrative of people always leave me started developing at this young age, right? The middle school boyfriend, the high school boyfriend.
I also developed a friendship through music [00:20:00] with this person we'll call her Jay. And Jay and I really bonded over our mutual love for our brand new, the band. If any of my listeners out there, yo. I was obsessed. I have a brand new tattoo.
Kev: Oh, cool.
Lana: Yeah. Yeah, because, you know, I thought that I would love them forever, so why not get their lyrics tattooed on my body?
Kev: That's cool.
Lana: But yeah, I really developed this friendship with Jay and I think For the first time I had a friendship with someone where I felt really seen and appreciated for who I was. So that was going on in the background. The only thing is she lived in New York City. So she wasn't really a part of my day to day life, but we had this really beautiful but long distance kind of friendship.
Kev: you guys pen pals or phone pals? We were
Lana: Pen pals. Yeah, we would write each other letters all the [00:21:00] time and send each other mail and like mixes like our thing was we would like Create playlists not playlists like back in that day. You would do cds and we both just loved music so much So that was like that was a really special friendship and it went on for Into my university years, actually, and then I'll tell the story of what happened with that after, but
Kev: after, but
Lana: Yeah, as as high school was coming to an end,
I I really struggled with my parents. I had a really hard relationship with both of my parents because, I just felt that they didn't give me the freedom that I wanted. As I said, they were very strict. And in my culture, it's like very strange to leave the house at age 18. That's like a very strange thing to do.
Yeah, you
Kev: to do.
Yeah. Yeah,
Lana: you stay with your family until like you're married, really like people like going away to university and
Kev: [00:22:00] to university. I don't know
Lana: no. To leave the home, to move out. Yeah, so we fought about this for a very long time. They wanted me to stay at home and live at home with them in university, and I was hell bent on moving out of my parents house and getting away from them, like any 18 year old, right?
And basically they weren't able to afford me going away to university and living off campus and all that stuff and I still went ahead and applied to all the schools away from our home so that I would go away to university. I just did what I wanted without regard for what my parents said.
I was pretty rebellious. And anyways, I got into a university, University of Guelph, an hour or so away from Toronto, super hippie town. It brought out my inner hippie and yeah, I'm really happy I went away. But I did have to take out student loans [00:23:00] to be able to afford this. And in high school, I was very interested in theater as well.
We didn't really talk about that, but I was like a theater kid. Oh,
Kev: Oh,
Lana: Yeah. I really loved acting and my dream was to become an actress and do theater.
Kev: What was like, what's a play or like a role that you had that stands out to you?
Lana: Yeah we actually did this really cool project in 12th grade or what do they call it in the States are my senior year.
We did this project in senior year. No, most of my audience is in the States, so I got to cater to their language.
Kev: cater to their language. Freshman means you're new. What's the
Lana: Freshman, sophomore, junior, senior.
Kev: Junior comes after
Lana: OC and One Tree Hill I watched.
Kev: man.
Lana: Yeah. So anyways
Kev: Senior year.
Lana: my senior year we did this really cool Project. I don't even remember what it was, but [00:24:00] for some reason, and this is hilarious, I was like the leader of our group and we decided we would focus on drug use, which is hilarious.
And we did this really cool piece where white rabbit was playing. By who's that
Kev: Jefferson
Lana: Jefferson airplane. Yeah. White rabbit by Jefferson airplane.
Kev: was playing
Lana: And we did this really crazy scene with just the horrors of drug addiction.
Kev: Did you guys pretend you were high?
Lana: Oh yeah.
Kev: Had anyone been high at that
Lana: Probably not. I probably smoked weed.
Kev: did you think about people who got high?
Lana: I thought I was fed like, the stuff that they taught us that was based in the wrong drugs.
They just talk about meth and how it'll make you scratch your face off. And that drugs are bad and like being high is bad and all that. I think it's so ironic.
Kev: were doing almost like a PSA, you were being like, your message was don't do drugs. Look at how[00:25:00]
Lana: Look at how silly it is. Oh, that was a creepy book. I don't know if it was a
Kev: That was also an anti drug book.
Lana: had some problems with
Kev: Sure, you probably read Fifty Shades of Grey when it came
Lana: it came out. Yeah,
Kev: I read that two years ago and it's awesome.
Lana: Okay.
Kev: don't know what everybody's saying about it being lame. Cause it's awesome.
Lana: I watched the movie.
Kev: Okay. I haven't seen the movie.
Lana: hot stuff, is it?
Kev: Okay.
Lana: Yeah. So anyways, background.
Yeah. So I was a theater kid and my dream was to go to. To university to study theater. I enrolled in the theater studies program and my parents were just like, no, what have we done? Like they saw that as a failure. They were like, no. This is horrible. Anyways, I did theater for a year and I
Kev: At university? Yeah. You studied theater?
Lana: Yeah. And honestly, I didn't really enjoy it and I remember looking [00:26:00] around in one of my acting classes and I just felt this like deep sense that I didn't belong. I was like, this isn't, no, this isn't for me.
Kev: So
Lana: So I did what any good arts kid would do. I switched into business.
Yeah. And I decided to study business and I guess I had to catch up. So I had to take the whole gamut of business subjects and decide what I wanted to do. Wish I did marketing, but I actually studied economics and. I actually turned into such a dork, like such a nerd, I studied so hard because I really leaned into my schoolwork and I really leaned into economics.
I was so interested in economics. I thought it was so interesting and so cool and I was really good at it.
This was the era of me being misaligned. Okay. With my
Kev: went full force into economics.
Lana: I went full force into economics. 'cause I was
Kev: you don't even have a favorite
Lana: I don't even know. That says a lot. An economist. Okay.[00:27:00]
Kev: Name an economist. Yeah, you can't name an economist. Can I
Lana: Adam Smith?
Kev: Smith is an
Lana: economist. Yeah, he's an economist.
That's And the first, yeah, , I think he was the first. But I really wanted to please my parents, right? I really wanted to make them happy. And I was like, this is going to be good and I can get a good job and all that stuff. And in university, I was drinking a lot, like a terrifyingly large amount, like going to the bars and just drinking
It was like the taste of absolute freedom that I had been looking for.
Kev: Don't you mean the taste of absolute?
Yeah,
Lana: was the taste of absolute strawberry flavor.
Kev: absolute? Sorry. Sick.
Lana: Yeah. I don't know if they have absolute in the States, but absolute is a vodka brand.
Kev: hell yeah, they do.
Lana: Yeah. I was completely lost. I had a really hard time making friends. I'm not in touch with any of the people that I met in my undergraduate degree. I have no idea what I was even doing hanging out with the [00:28:00] people that I was because Wow, they were just like completely no shade at them at all, but they were completely Misaligned with who I am and I think As a result of this kind of like alienation, again not feeling understood by the world, by the people around me, I really leaned into my work.
And I leaned into kind of doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing. Going out and getting drunk and listening to country music, like
Kev: whoa. I don't
Lana: know, what?
Kev: Oh.
Lana: Oh, panic button. Not like country
Kev: I need
Lana: but, you the university towns, they play like country and like rock covers and stuff
to go out and enjoy that.
So strange.
Kev: I could see you wearing cut off jeans and the boots and the
Lana: the crop tops. Yeah. Yeah. But I did have yeah, my social environment was not good in university. I had some horrible roommates. I lived with these three [00:29:00] women in my third year or my second year, my sophomore year of university. And man, they were bullies. They were so mean to me. Like they were so mean to me.
But luckily I had my friend Jay who was there for me and who understood me and who helped me.
Kev: Is Jay real?
Lana: Jay's real. Yeah, I just don't want to say the name.
Kev: No. I just, I didn't want to like, I just wanted, my hopes are
Lana: my imagination.
Kev: I didn't wanna find out that she wasn't real.
No,
Lana: No, she was real. And then when I was 20 again, sophomore year, I tried MDMA for the first time.
Kev: Okay.
Lana: Yeah. Story gets juicy.
I was so scared. But I had this house party and all my friends came over and. I remember my friend and I were like, Hey, we're going to try this. We're going to do it. And I think she had done it already. And I had the time of my life and I was just like, what, how is it even possible to feel this good?
Yeah. It was my first time getting high, right? It's
Kev: Hell yeah.
Lana: how is it possible to feel this good? This is [00:30:00] amazing. And I think that kind of, that started a new era for me. I think that was like when Jay and I started to drift apart. Cause she didn't really understand that. that world. But yeah, that really changed things.
And then all the while I was lost in every way. I had no idea what I wanted to do after school career wise, not. I got really into photography in high school and university. I was also taking a lot of photos. I had a dream of being a photographer and just like creating really beautiful images. I started really loving cooking
Kev: loving cooking. I
Lana: do love.
Kev: that this man named Sebastiano
Lana: This man named Ano Algo is really amazing. There's a documentary on him called Salt of the Earth.
Kev: Okay? Cool. I'll check that out. Salt of the Earth. [00:31:00] Okay, just checking because now you're remembering things. It sounds like at least photography is a little bit closer to your heart
Lana: Yeah, and then there's this woman, Andrea Lindquist, who is incredible, and I did her boudoir workshop in Seattle and always looked up to her work. But yeah, I really connected with photography and I was dreaming about how do I just and this was the era of blogs and Instagram was just starting.
So I was like reading all these blogs and I was like why can't I do this? And how do I do this? And how do I get paid to do this? But I was Really lost, had no idea what to do. I was excelling at economics. I was getting really good grades. I remember I got an award for writing in my healthcare economics class.
I wrote a paper on alternative and contemporary medicine and I put so much into that. I enjoyed writing it so much and I won a fucking writing award for it. . I started volunteering as like a peer helper. So I facilitated these learning and study sessions for [00:32:00] Freshman's in,
Kev: The Freshmans. Freshmans in It's a Freshman Ting.
Lana: in in economics classes.
Cause econ's really hard for a lot of people. And my mom was really strict with me excelling at math. So I was decent at it. So yeah, I was like volunteering and that was really fulfilling. And then I think I reached this like existential crisis of sorts in my final year. And I was like, fuck it. I'm going on exchange again, even though I couldn't even afford it.
I spent like years paying off my credit card from that experience. But I went to Copenhagen in Denmark and that changed my life. That was. That was like the first time I did MDMA at a music festival called Distortion, honestly. And watch the sunrise at a music festival coming up over the city while high on MDMA.
Copenhagen changed my life. It was that [00:33:00] taste of freedom that I had been looking for. I love Europe. Like I'm European. I love Europe. The way of living the life there resonates with me so much. Everything in Copenhagen is so beautiful. The food is amazing. I just got a taste of what life can be like on that exchange.
And it just opened up so much for me. And then I had no idea what to do. So I applied to. So I applied to grad school because I was like yeah, why don't I just keep being a student?
So I applied to grad school while I was away in Copenhagen. I learned I got accepted to grad school. I accepted it. And I came back from Copenhagen a totally different person. Then the one who applied to grad school.
Kev: person than the
Lana: Yeah.
Kev: who applied to grad school.
Lana: just barely.
Kev: Finish
Lana: I did finish it. Yeah. I have a master's of science. I [00:34:00] wrote a thesis.
Kev: In economics,
Lana: economics, yeah, six page calculus proofs. Dude, it was so hard. I really struggled Grad school was probably the darkest period of my life. And this is when everything started fucking Unfolding for me and I started realizing how misaligned everything in my life was it was horrible.
I got back from Copenhagen. I like casually smoked cigarettes in Copenhagen because I was living in Copenhagen. That's
Kev: do when you travel, you smoke.
Lana: and especially in Europe. And then I literally started smoking cigarettes regularly. Because before grad school, we had a week called math camp.
Math camp. Math camp.
Kev: Sounds super fun.
Lana: It was horrible. And I remember that week I just, I was just thinking, what have I gotten myself
Kev: is Math Camp as rowdy as Band Camp?
Math camp
Lana: so[00:35:00]
Kev: it's so dry. Oh,
Lana: It's so dry. It's a lot of calculus. You're like reviewing calculus from undergrad and stats. And wow, it was awful. So I was like highly stressed, highly misaligned.
I had a really hard time getting through all my courses. I did not do great in my I started having panic attacks, I was studying for a microeconomics exam one day, and I was in the library and I remember I called my mom because I was having a panic attack and she had to come pick me up and she took me to the emergency room because I was having heart palpitations.
And I had to get yeah, my mental health was so bad that I had to get an extension from the head of the department to take exams later, to get extensions on my assignments.
I had to get an extension on writing my thesis. Like it was bad and it was during, while I was in Copenhagen, I missed this part. My friend Jay. She basically told me she doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
So that's [00:36:00] like third major abandonment
Kev: she say why? Cause of the drugs?
Lana: No. I think we just drifted apart. But
Kev: good for her for
Lana: she had her own stuff going on.
Kev: boundaries, but that does
Lana: Yeah. Yeah, I was, I took it really hard. Like it was really hard. It took me a very long time to bounce back from that. Cause this person was really like a rock in my life.
And when I started grad school, I was dealing with that. On top of math camp and I was really struggling and so my friend told me like, Hey, why don't you try therapy? Like, why don't you try give therapy a try? You can go on campus for free. And I was like, it's okay, yeah, I'll do that. And so I started my journey.
I started my journey
Kev: the self work
Lana: Yeah, that was really when it began. But during this time I was like really self medicating. I was in the rave [00:37:00] scene a lot in grad school, I partied a lot, I was abusing MDMA, I was still drinking quite a lot, but I was really self medicating.
By diving into the rave space in a really unintentional and unhealthy way. But that was, the medicine I needed at the time to just cope and deal with life. I was also still struggling with acne. And I went on Accutane, which is a prescription drug. And it finally cleared my acne. Finally!
Kev: After so
Lana: so many years of that,
Kev: that. Yeah, you can't drink, you have
Lana: you can't drink. You have to be on birth control. Yeah. It was intense. I could do a whole podcast about that, but yeah. And all through throughout this whole thing, I still had no idea what the fuck I wanted to do with my life. Cause I was just like, I just need to finish this thesis and get on with my life.
And I like didn't let myself quit, but I knew I didn't.
Kev: want
Lana: anything to [00:38:00] do with economics. It was not sitting right with my soul, honestly. And then at the end of grad school, I met this man who would become my first love. And I immediately fell in love with him and went through. Just like a really intense period of time I think this was my last year of grad school where I was like treated really horribly by him I was in like a love triangle He was two timing me and my other friend and I was just like there for it and I just kept Chasing him like my self worth was so fucking low I Was a doormat.
I was literally
Kev: a doormat.
Lana: I, I had met this person. What do we want to call this person?
Kev: Dorian.
Lana: Dorian!
Kev: in Dorian [00:39:00] Gray.
Lana: Dorian Gray.
Kev: Shout out Oscar Wilde.
Lana: I have read that book.
Kev: a beautiful piece of literature.
Lana: Really.
Kev: Yeah.
Lana: You look like him.
Kev: What, I look like the picture of Dorian Gray?
Or Oscar Wilde?
Lana: I don't know the person on the cover.
Kev: Oh yeah.
Lana: picture of
Kev: It would be Dorian
Lana: Yeah.
Revisit that one.
Kev: special. Thank you for that compliment.
Lana: Yeah. So I met Dorian. Yeah. I met Dorian. It wasn't the end of.
Kev: grad school.
Lana: It was like somewhere in between, but this was a majorly significant relationship for me that actually unraveled even more and more. But I continued to be a doormat and continue to just be there despite being treated like crap. And at the end of grad school, him and I actually entered a relationship and I was so happy.
I was like, I did it all my. Perseverance and hard work, paid off and yeah, [00:40:00] it was really intense and we like fell really in love really fast and like really deep. It was beautiful and I felt probably the best I had felt in a really long time and Everything from grad school started to lift with this love, right?
And with this person that I was now sharing my life with, the depression started to fall away. I started to make better decisions. I just started working out and started making better decisions. I had processed this friendship with Jay through therapy quite a bit.
Yeah we entered into our relationship and things were really good for a while, but then I moved up north to Thunder Bay. If my Canadian listeners know where that is, if you don't, it's basically a 16 hour drive north from where I live in Toronto because Dorian was living there
finishing up school.
So I moved over there so that we could be together and I don't know if it was quickly, but after some time passed, after the honeymoon phase passed and we were [00:41:00] like firmly in love things really started to fall apart very quickly. And it was like, gosh, we just triggered the shit out of each other and brought out the worst of each other.
So it was like, life started to take like an upswing for a very short amount of time and then it went plummeting down. It went plummeting down.
Kev: That'll happen if you're not actively working on your shit in a couple. You're just
Lana: Well, That's the thing we were,
Kev: Oh yeah, you were
Lana: were working so hard. Like we tried so hard, but I think like looking back on that relationship, we just didn't have the tools and the maturity.
We just didn't have the tools. We didn't have the communication. We were young and in love and stupid. Honestly, I was like 26 years old. I had no idea what I was doing. In love, like it was like a love that was so big, but we didn't know how to hold it, [00:42:00] and so we broke it.
Kev: it. That'll happen. And
Lana: um,
Kev: And you probably broke yourselves too.
Lana: Yeah, then had to go on the journey of
Kev: to
Lana: putting myself back together,
Kev: myself back together, but Absolutely, yeah.
Yeah It
Lana: you come across the plant medicine? Absolutely yeah, um.
Kev: happened was, we
Lana: Eventually we broke up and again, another person that left me in my life. Just like this perpetual story of abandonment. Yeah. And it's really interesting. Maybe I'll touch on the end, like of how I learned that I was actually perpetuating this through my own beliefs about myself. But yeah, the, when that relationship ended.
I didn't actually know how to continue in life. I had suicidal ideation. I didn't know how to carry on. I felt so [00:43:00] hurt. I didn't know how to live without this person. Like this person and I had a very codependent dynamic where, I felt like it was my responsibility to, to fix them and to repair them.
And that if I could just fix them and repair them, then everything would be fine. It was very codependent and unhealthy. And of course, in doing that, I wasn't able to see him for who he actually was. And yeah we both played a role, but. Just losing that love someone who I thought was like, the love of my life, who I was like, so madly in love with.
It broke me. For a very long time. Cause it was like, everything that I had been through, with boys and men, from boys to men,
Kev: Boys to men, shout out boys to men. Everything
Lana: that I had been through from boys to men, and always feeling not chosen, I have the scene of the Seth when summer breaks up with him. If you ever watch the OC and he's listening to boys to men in his room, that's [00:44:00] what I felt like times a million.
But I felt that I finally was chosen by someone like someone finally chose me. And it was someone that like I was so into, and I finally felt like I was on top of the world and then I lost that. And I put so much of my self worth into that person being with me. That I completely lost myself.
I completely lost who I was and gave up everything for this relationship. So when it ended, I was a shell of myself. And so I cried for about two weeks straight. My mom had to make sure that I was eating.
It was very dramatic. And then I booked a flight to Costa Rica. And I went to Costa Rica for ten days.[00:45:00]
And that was my first taste of, Okay, we're doing this. We're gonna put ourselves back together.
And I went to an ego village and meditated and did yoga and just spent time with myself for the first time in a really long time.
Kev: really long time. And
Lana: when I was there, this man came up to me and he was like, we're doing ayahuasca tomorrow night.
Do you want to join us? And I was like, I really want to do ayahuasca, but no, I don't want to join you. I don't.
Kev: join you.
I don't.
Lana: I didn't, but it was like very much in my awareness and my consciousness at the time. And yeah, it was my first kind of like line of defense was actually therapy. And I went and saw a different therapist than the one in grad school.
And she helped me a lot. I worked with her for about a year, about six months into that. I started with [00:46:00] ayahuasca, so I hit this wall with the therapy and my self awareness at that point was really growing and I was really starting to understand myself man I was like reading all the books.
I was going to codependency anonymous meetings. If you didn't know those were a thing Yeah, they have those. I Was doing the therapy. I was like really working on myself so deeply
And Meanwhile, career wise, I still had no idea what the fuck I was doing. But I was like, my job right now is to put myself back together because I literally can't handle life right now. I was so depressed. So the end of that relationship brought
Kev: everything
Lana: to the surface and it was like, I'm going to look at all of this and I'm going to fix all of this because
I never want to experience this pain again in my life. And it was almost like I had to take responsibility for how I showed up in the relationship for, all my actions, everything that I did. And. That was really hard, and it was really confronting, and there was a lot of grief, and there [00:47:00] was a lot of sadness, but the ayahuasca ceremonies offered me such a safe space to do that, and to confront myself in those ways, and to process these really big emotions in a really supportive community, and I was going, every month, every two months for about three years, and three years I did 30 ayahuasca ceremonies and I made a lot of progress like therapeutically and I stopped seeing my therapist
So I was like, I ayahuasca's my therapist now . And yeah. Yeah. Maybe I'll stop there 'cause I just shared a lot.
Kev: I'm curious, why didn't, before you started doing therapy and doing the ayahuasca, Why didn't you just go back to partying and doing drugs and coping the way that you had coped before?
Lana: I did for a little bit. Oh, okay. I spent that first summer partying.
Kev: summer partying. I
Lana: I had [00:48:00] stopped.
Kev: changed then
Lana: I, yeah, I had stopped throughout that relationship with Dorian. My drinking became a problem.
And I didn't like who I was when I drink. And so I stopped drinking and I stopped smoking cigarettes and I stopped with the cocaine.
So I made improvements in my substance use when that relationship ended. I think I was so eager to move on with my life. Maybe find the next relationship that I was like, screw it, I'm gonna have like my, hot girl summer, single girl summer, whatever. And
Kev: in the vices.
Lana: and I did party a lot. There was a lot of MDMA that summer.
And
Kev: yeah. That's a [00:49:00] good
Lana: Yeah, that's a good question because when I did start doing the ceremonies, I stopped partying for two or three years. So actually, this is
Kev: ceremonies locally, like last time it was mentioned it was in Costa Rica, but
Lana: and I had known about it and it was in my consciousness for years. So in, His and my relationship, we were, like, very into psychedelics and very into learning about psychedelics and, micro dosing and we went to Harvest together, which is, a psychedelic festival and we experimented with mushrooms and LSD, like the the footstools of psychedelics.
Yeah. And the gateway psychedelics. And so all this stuff had been in my consciousness for a very long time. And I always knew that one day I would do ayahuasca and then one day I [00:50:00] was ready for it.
Kev: it.
Lana: It was like, I just knew it was time. Yeah. And then that was really hard at the beginning. Like man, the first few ceremonies and like The purging, the vomiting, the confronting yourself, like entering those realms of darkness.
It was so hard, but the more I went, the easier it got easier and easier. And then suddenly one day I started enjoying the work and I started enjoying this process of healing and it almost became an identity. It did become an identity. I was so deep in it.
Kev: in it. Is it still an identity?
Lana: No.
Kev: Oh. Because identities are
Lana: fleeting?
Kev: I think I
Lana: think I don't identify with it the way that I did before. Yeah, it was very interesting to make that shift , from [00:51:00] being a recreational participant of psychedelics to ceremony and healing. It was very different.
Kev: I think
Lana: and I think I did need that break from the recreational to like really learn the side.
. And now of course I participate in both and love both.
Kev: yeah, when I met you, you were In the healing side of things, and I
Lana: on the tail end of it, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even since meeting you, I've been through a lot with this whole heartbreak healing situation.
Kev: Yeah. Seen you do a lot of healing.
Lana: Yeah. In such a different place now than when we first met.
Kev: And is ayahuasca still your therapist or is like plant medicine still a main driver? And then I know you'd have a lot of like self healing habits
But do you still feel like the plant medicines are, is your main medicine?
Lana: medicine.
Absolutely. Yeah. I picked up therapy [00:52:00] again, maybe a year ago, a year and a half ago. And I gave it a shot. And I was just like, this isn't it for me. It doesn't even begin to touch the depths that I can go down with plant medicine. And that's just for me. This is just my language. This is just what makes sense to me and what speaks to me.
I love the process of it. I love the depth of it. It works. For me.
Kev: decide to become a life coach? Yeah.
Lana: Ayahuasca ceremonies, and I started feeling good enough. To stop dwelling so much in this breakup and I decided to work with a life coach because I heard that coaches can help you create forward momentum and I was really curious about it. I had a friend [00:53:00] who was a life coach. She was like you would love it You know just try it out She referred me to hers and I did love it.
And then I also started micro dosing mushrooms at this time
Kev: Nice.
Lana: And this depression that I wasn't fully aware of lifted and I don't microdose mushrooms so much anymore, but that those first kind of those first few rounds of microdosing mushrooms that I did made a profound impact on my mental health and made a profound impact on lifting me out of depression.
And that's why, even though I'm not a huge micro doser of mushrooms anymore, I'm micro dosing Kana right now and loving that. But I love to advocate for it, talk about it, and, bring awareness to it. Because it did so much for me. And then I also decided to start Modern Psychedelics.
Probably a year into drinking Ayahuasca, I was like, [00:54:00] This is it.
I was so fucking lit up in a way that I've never been lit up about anything before. I was like, this is it. I remember I was journaling one day and I was like, I want to have a podcast and I want to talk to people about psychedelics. That's what I want to do. And I want to share my journey because this journey that is unfolding for me is so special.
And it's important not in The sense that I am important in the sense that what is possible and what is unfolding for me is important and that process that was unfolding for me was healing and coming back to myself and learning who I am and gosh, yeah, finding the beauty and joy in life.
Kev: That I
Lana: That I had not felt or seen
Kev: [00:55:00] maybe ever.
Yeah, you were intrinsically motivated to share it. Yeah. That's,
Lana: Yeah. Yeah. That's
Kev: Between modern psychedelics and the life coaching, that sounds like a great fit, given your journey.
Lana: Yeah, because I had been devoting myself to personal development, like when I was with Dorian, that was when I really got into personal development, books, podcasts.
I was a podcast addict. I was always listening to podcasts, which I'm like, I wonder if that's why I started my own podcast. I don't even listen to podcasts that
Kev: anymore. We follow the forms that inspire us.
Lana: and I learned and grew so much through podcasts. So much, man. I was doing like meditation workshops and yeah, I had also been doing yoga.
Since high school, I was always interested [00:56:00] in this journey of growth and expression. And when I realized the coaching and the psychedelics and the podcast, it was like duh. Yeah, this is it. It was a long, windy, dark, uncomfortable, stormy journey to get here
And to find myself, but I'm so grateful for every twist and turn, as corny as that sounds.
Kev: sounds. I even had a photography business for a couple years. I was
Lana: I even had a photography business for a couple of years. I was a wedding and boudoir photographer, and I thought
Kev: where I
Lana: This is it for me, but I hit this point where I was holding these beautiful events, these boudoir events, and they were all about like female empowerment and sexiness and all that.
But I started feeling like it just wasn't doing it for me. Like I just wasn't making the impact that I wanted to make in the world through this.
Kev: make in
Lana: it feels like it's been like a [00:57:00] very natural progression.
Kev: it feels like it's been like a very natural progression.
being a coach and having a podcast that shares like pretty frank and like intimate revelations from your own healing journey like How do you find those things have impacted your healing journey? Have they accelerated it or have they like added a layer of insight?
Yeah, I mean they seem pretty like synergistic from where I'm sitting
Lana: Yeah. We just recorded that five MEO trip report. And I was telling you that me recording these episodes for the listeners and me sharing my journey, it is integration for me and more than that.
[00:58:00] It's the self expression and impact I've been looking for in my life. And it's absolutely impacted my journey. Because, as I start to inspire people listening and hear from them and hear their stories.
It puts my life into a different perspective.
Kev: Feels like I'm
Lana: It feels like I'm not just doing it for me.
Kev: For me.
Lana: Yeah.
Kev: It's a great feeling. Yeah. It's the opposite of the theme that you were saying earlier of feeling like abandoned and disconnected ultimately. Yeah. Hell yeah.
Lana: Yeah, and I think I was abandoned and alienated so much in my life because [00:59:00] I was abandoning and alienating myself.
Kev: Isn't that what happens?
Lana: Yeah.
Kev: Yeah. Yeah.
Lana: Yeah. It really is. Yeah. In the relationship, I abandoned
Kev: That's right. You can't really be abandoned by another
Lana: So who did the, who did he really abandon? Yeah. It wasn't me.
Kev: Yeah.
Lana: It was the shell of me.
Kev: Yeah.
Lana: Because I was the one who actually abandoned myself.
Kev: Yeah, you took the cue and you followed the sign.
Lana: Yeah.
Kev: Yeah.
Lana: Yeah. Yeah, that's actually, that's such a novel insight right there. By the time I was abandoned by my love, I had already abandoned myself. So he wasn't abandoning me. He was abandoning the shell of me
Kev: me
Lana: I had lost and given up
Kev: him. . Any pursuit when you know, when you're conforming to [01:00:00] society or like acting in a way that you want, that you think another person wants you to be.
Lana: Yeah.
Kev: Yeah,
Lana: Yeah. I really do think that a lot of our paradigms of the world and how we view the world start with how we view ourselves and how we relate to our own
Kev: and how ourselves and how we relate to our own life.
Lana: looking to outside yourself for identity,
Kev: to looking inside yourself. And it takes time to really ground in that. But, once you get in touch with yourself, and you realize how
Lana: nutritional that
Kev: is, and how evergreen that is, and [01:01:00] how even in the middle of a shitty storm, you still have a place to be, your inner sanctuary and whatnot.
That's hard to ignore, like you, you still got to work to keep in touch with that, but it's a more nourishing place to find meaning and identity to to look inwards than to look outwards and think you're supposed to get a degree in economics or, be boy crazy. And I'm. Reflecting on like my own examples of that very type of thing, and that same thing happens to everybody we learn how to be from our environments and then slowly we learn how to stop listening to our environments and listen to ourselves
Lana: Yeah. And those inner resources that we have are Like, we get to generate those at any time. We don't have control over what the external world generates for us.
It's really [01:02:00] empowering.
Kev: empowering. Yeah, and I think my story is just I don't
Lana: and I think my story is just,
Kev: I
Lana: think what is special about it is the growth and like leaning into the discomfort.
And yeah,
I don't know if there's anything like really iconic in my story, but I think that there are nuggets that
Kev: people
Lana: can relate to if they are on that journey and that they are feeling disconnected from themselves and if they are maybe looking to the outside for approval, maybe comparing themselves.
I think like the healing journey really ended with Iboga for me. That medicine made me good with me.
Kev: It
Lana: It was like, [01:03:00] The ayahuasca prepared me to receive that medicine. And then,
Kev: it
Lana: I was already like primed and prepped. And it's been over a year now, and I know this isn't going to go away. This connection to the inner sanctuary, to myself.
It's there for good. And I'm so grateful to the plants for everything that they've given me. And it's such an honor to share with people.
Kev: Yes. Thank you for doing Modern Psychedelics. It's it's a public service.
Lana: Aww.
Kev: It's a public you're learning in, you're learning in public, which is a really good way to learn.
Lana: way to end. That's really what I wanted from this platform. I really wanted to, yeah, exactly. Learn in public. Go on a learning journey with others. And share that.
Why keep that to myself? Yeah.
Kev: Yeah, you're wealthy. [01:04:00] In a certain way, you're wealthy in insight and knowledge and ideas and you're getting to share them.
Lana: Love that. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks for interviewing me and for all your help with modern psychedelics
Kev: Hell yeah. We're here for it, man. Yeah,
Lana: Kev is a believer
Kev: I'm a, I like to consider myself a believer.
Believer. I like to eat my Tim Bebes.
Lana: Yeah You Some Canadian humor for you
Kev: Oh yeah if you don't know, Justin Bieber is Canadian, and if you're a fan of Justin Bieber, you're a Belieber. But I
Lana: Yeah.
Kev: Believer,
Lana: You're a Yeah, but I'm a believer also.
Kev: the modern psychedelics.
Lana: Just like Ted Lasso Back to Ted Lasso, man, believe
Kev: honestly I'm making my own versions of that sign, and I'm giving it to my, my,
Lana: yeah. That would be such a good base coast sticker.
Kev: Oh yeah, Believe the Ted Lasso.
Lana: Love it.
Kev: Wow [01:05:00] quick swerve at the end
Lana: Yes.
Kev: Any final words for the people? Yeah. Keep going.
Lana: love you.
Kev: Keep going. Keep going,
Lana: keep going. Just keep going. Fam and
Kev: Believe
Lana: Yeah.
Kev: in yourself.
Lana: That's
Kev: That's right. Don't believe in others. Believe in yourself. Cool. Wow. What do we do at the end here? Do we sign off with a, do we say namaste or something? What do we do? guys
Lana: Thank you guys so much for listening. I hope that this was inspiring for you. If you are feeling inspired to reach out to me, you can do that through Instagram or write me an email at hello at modern psychedelics. net and let me know how you like Kev on the mic here because we're going to be seeing more of him.
Kev: Yeah, my name's Kev G. And I'm happy to be.
Lana: Yeah. Aw.
Kev: Rate that rhyme. Rate it. One to ten.[01:06:00]
Lana: of ten. Yeah. Ten out of
Kev: Send us a, send us an email. Lana's got a ten.
Lana: Ten out of ten.
Kev: us if you agree.
Lana: Yeah. Excellent. All right, everyone. Thanks for listening. Take
Kev: for listening. Take care. Ciao. Yay. Yay.
